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#tweeliketheoppositegender he's wrong, he's always wrong and I'm always right why can't he understand.
#tweeliketheoppositegender Maybe if I bend down far enough they will see my uncomfortable thongs sticking out.
#tweeliketheoppositegender i'll put some chicken fillets and a wonder bra on today see if I can get these thick bastards drueling.
#tweeliketheoppositegender vaginas are so much better than willy's because after we orgasm we don't fall asleep, we stay awake for more.
#tweeliketheoppositegender I want to roll Justin bieber up into a ball and stuff him in my vagina and keep him there nice and cosy.
#tweeliketheoppositegender when together: you're the best sex I've ever had, so amazing! When it's over: pecker dick!
#tweeliketheoppositegender it just feels right when I love you.
"Do you like to read books?" "Haha reading is for nerds!" "but you read daily on Facebook and twitter" "oh yeah" "and now u look stupid"
We're all just puppets on a string.
#woolwich the only thing responsible for the deterioration of the uk, is the uk itself. You get nowhere pretending to be nice.
#thingsworsethanrape when the girl is actually lying about it just to get one over!, YES THIS HAPPENS
I went to a zoo today with only one animal, a dog. It was a schitzu
There's not enough people with Megan fox's attitude. pic.twitter.com/ctLPQ7eMOn
I don't read Facebook, I translate it.
Instead of a jail sentence, they should give marriage sentences. That would make them learn more.
Some women once they're angry just cant calm down. pic.twitter.com/fGEWT7qrPM
I've just been to footy and had a shower pondering the meaning of our existence.
Retweet if you're a vapor!
When you're talking to someone and you're thinking what a misfortunate waste of human DNA.
#XboxMemories trying to pair the controller an getting pissed off thinking wtf! pic.twitter.com/ztutZJg2WU
#XboxMemories the controller being better than the ps2.
#XboxMemories playing Tom clancys splinters cell and thinking "f**k me this is awesome!"
#PrayForOklahoma my thoughts go out to all the people affected by the tornado. Xx
Study psychology it's amazing.
#iloveyoubecause you have morals I adore, unlike disgusting tramp whores with zero value for their own existence.
#iloveyoubecause when I look at your face, I just want to instantly have rampant sex with u.
#iloveyoubecause I know you would do anything for me, and vice versa.
I had a lovely dream it was FRIDAY, Woke up to a nightmare
WOHOOO 50,000 FOLLOWERS THANKS AND LOVE TO YOU ALL, well 99.9% of you pic.twitter.com/9w5BSZsFnp
Oh you're dating my ex, nice one mate, here, do you want this left over sandwich aswell?
I'm not going to like, I have to google acronyms on a regular basis.
Good things come to those that wait, Trouble is, they're usually left overs from the people that got there first.
What do you call a man that's cleaning with a large feather? Dustin
that awkward moment when your trying to eat nice on a date but you drop a tiny bit of food on your shirt pic.twitter.com/gpdTCJgwTy
if everybody had a sense of humor, then i wouldn't be able to take the piss out of those that didn't.
i have a lot of fans, i wish summer would hurry up so i can put them to use!
He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke.
how comes success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
I live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know me here.
Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.
That awkward moment on instagram where double tap to zoom but end uplinking the pic, Doh.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people get married more than once.
I should make my twitter private, but how will those ppl that don't follow me but stalk my twitter every day feel, Can't do that to them.
People will always gossip about you on twitter, it's Because they're dumb and they use twitter like Facebook. It's not like Fb dumshits.