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Once you understand the reasons why people are jealous and bitter about you, the more clear it becomes that they hate themselves.
Stalking your ex on facebook,
Accidentally like a status from a year ago,
Delete Facebook,
Set laptop on fire,
Leave the country.
That awkward moment when your hair grows long on the back of your neck,
Looks like you got a mini batman cape goin on.
Would anybody like a custom background for their twitter profile to appear on my new website??
The first 5 retweets get them for free.
You ever get to that point in work or school where you just think
pic.twitter.com/MijmJsxIqF George michael in car crash, apparently his sat nav told him to go faster love
You don't have to possess a degree to be educated.
Once you understand the reasons why people are jealous and bitter about you, the more clear it becomes that they hate themselves.
#NameSomethingYouDontLikeThatEveryoneElseLikes people that don't understand the driest form of sarcasm.
#NameSomethingYouDontLikeThatEveryoneElseLikes watching soap operas, I'd rather play Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun.
Remember that time as a when your parents made you so mad, you threatened to pack your bag of toys and leave.
#NameSomethingYouDontLikeThatEveryoneElseLikes IBIZA, people only go because everyone else does.
I didn't just make a typo, I missed a whole freaking word out haha, that's new level stuff.
Trying to preach and making an all time major league typo!
#FAIL Some people don't what they've got until its GONE!
That awkward moment when you shout "mum" instead of miss at school
Awwkwarrrd
I've often wondered if people with no tattoos show their skin off to everyone.
I absolutely love kids, but I just don't think I could eat a full one, it would probably be two seatings.
A clean desk is a dead give away for a cluttered draw.
I've discovered that I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
I talk absolute shit at times, but it's ok, you know why?
Because I don't give a gravity defying f**k.
ARRGHHHH!!! If I make a typo once more today!!!! I'm going to,
Do absolutely nothing about it.
It's amazing how many people just turn a blind eye to the truths of life, and just trudge along just to be like everyone else.
Facebook translation
"I smashed that gym session to pieces!"
(you just signed up last week and you've not got a clue how to work out)
Talking to an uneducated stereotypical person and thanking god you're not an uneducated stereotypical person.
#tweegram #instagood #photoftheday #instamood #igers #instagramhub #picoftheday #instadaily #bestoftheday #ignation #igdaily #instagramers #webstagram #igaddict #all_shots #followme #instafollow #followback #gym #fitness
God I hate to be a celebrity on twitter, they have to put up with so many hate tweets.
That awkward moment you try and act cool to impress,
But slip and faceplant!.
"the floors fine guys, I was just checking"
Hey there, what's your name on Facebook?
Omg you want to add me?xxxxx
No, I want to block you.
Gutted for Wigan athletic, but what they have achieved is a fairytale only some teams can dream of, well done Latics you made us proud.
I'LL DO WHAT I WANT,
WHEN I WANT,
WHEREVER I WANT.
.. as long as its ok with my mum..
They soon come around these mornings don't they,
Goodnight everyone sleep well x
When someone asks can they borrow your phone, and all those porn pics and dirty MSGs flash through your mind but u nervously say,
"ye sure"
Me any gorgeous bed are sleeping together again tonight.
That awkward moment your talking away to someone, but they left the room 5 mins ago, so now you're in a mental institute.
Breaking News: Manchester City sack Roberto Mancini. More throughout the night on
#ssn 
#tweegram #instagood #photoftheday #instamood #igers #instagramhub #picoftheday #instadaily #bestoftheday #ignation #igdaily #instagramers #webstagram #igaddict #all_shots #followme #instafollow #followback #gym #fitness
#tweegram #instagood #photoftheday #instamood #igers #instagramhub #picoftheday #instadaily #bestoftheday #ignation #igdaily #instagramers #webstagram #igaddict #all_shots #followme #instafollow #followback #gym #fitness
I think porn stars got it wrong, you should follow your dreams, but not your wet dreams.
Love my new twitter header thanks to
@stucrompton xxx
#nevertrustpeoplewho start their sentence with,
"this is gods honest truth, you can ask my mate"
When you go on a date, and you're taken by surprise by the fact that the only thing you have in common with each other is u both have skin.
Hello Monday, I hate you.