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Stephen Colbert
Last night's show, my best yet.
It's no fair debating with a fan. I've done it. You try speaking into it, and it just distorts your words. #Fangate
TONIGHT: Author @WDeresiewicz discusses his new book, "Excellent Sheep." @ComedyCentral. 11:30/10:30c.
Last night's show, my best yet.
Fix my height, Google! And add it in nautical miles! I'm 0.0009738nmi, not 0.00096nmi you monsters!
TONIGHT: The director of the new film "Dear White People," Justin Simien. @ComedyCentral. 11:30/10:30c.
Last night's show, my best yet.
What a coincidence! I interviewed Neil Young just weeks after his CSN&Y bandmate, Bill Cosby!
TONIGHT: Folk rock legend @Neilyoung discusses his new book, "Special Deluxe: A Memoir of Life and Cars." @ComedyCentral. 11:30/10:30c.
Last night's show, my best yet.
It's Monday the 13th! Not as spooky as Friday the 13th, but you still have to go to work for four more days. OOOOoooOOOOooo!!!
There are only 32 episodes left of The Colbert Report. So if you haven't already, before tonight's episode, catch up on the last 9 seasons.
TONIGHT: Author @WalterIsaacson discusses his newest book, "The Innovators." @ComedyCentral. 11:30/10:30c.
Last night's show, my best yet.
Can't we forget the terrible things Columbus did the same way we overlook Betsy Ross's cockfighting ring? Haven't heard of it? Exactly!
TONIGHT: @RobertPlant performs "Rainbow" from his new album, "Lullaby and the Ceaseless Roar." @ComedyCentral. 11:30/10:30c.
Last night's show, my best yet.
For YOUR war name, add a word that describes your grandfather to the name of the last animal you killed! Ex: Operation Racist Raccoon.
I dislike gay marriage for the same reason I like sports: something, something, tradition, deep sexual frustration, nachos.
More than half of all Americans now live in a state where gay marriage is legal. Had no idea that many people could fit in Vermont!
TONIGHT: Legendary comedian Carol Burnett stars in the Broadway show, "Love Letters." @ComedyCentral. 11:30/10:30c.
Last night's show, my best yet.
Another triumph for Triumph! But I wish he'd stop the cigars. Bad for kids to see him SMOKE while humping strangers!…
All pandemic policies can be written in a tweet. Ebola: close borders. Bird flu: kill birds. Swine flu: We die, losing bacon not worth it.
TONIGHT: Writer Leon Wieseltier celebrates the 100th anniversary of The New Republic. @ComedyCentral. 11:30/10:30c.
I have reached a point in my adult life where I can, in fact, believe it's not butter.
Last night's show, my best yet.
No disrespect to the Confederacy, but I prefer Jefferson Davis' later work as Starship.
TONIGHT: James McPherson is the author of, "Embattled Rebel: Jefferson Davis as Commander in Chief."@ComedyCentral. 11:30/10:30c.
Scientists in the pacific northwest are warning that marijuana farming is threatening local salmon. And also, anything else delicious.
I sit down with @SteveCarell on 11/21 @NJPAC for @MontclairFF. It'll be like our classic segment, "Even Carelbert."
Last night's show, my best yet.
TONIGHT: Author of "Sally Ride: America's First Woman in Space," @LynnSherr. @ComedyCentral. 11:30/10:30c.
Comedy - catch it before the fad is over! See Trap at @TJandDave's theater, @MissionChicago.
Kids, stay in school. Until you graduate, then you should really leave.
Last night's show, my best yet.
The Hong Kong protests are being called the Umbrella Revolution. I just hope they've also developed anti-tank raincoats.
If you live in Chicago, check out Trap at @MissionChicago. If you live elsewhere - Chicago's very nice. You should move there.
TONIGHT: Retired US Navy Admiral and former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Admiral Mike Mullen. @ComedyCentral. 11:30/10:30c.
Last night's show, my best yet.
TONIGHT: @jeffreytambor stars in the Amazon series, "Transparent." @ComedyCentral. 11:30/10:30c.
Last night's show, my best yet.
.@jamieoliver's new cookbook is "Comfort Food." It's tough to digest but if you braise it for long enough, the pages just fall off the spine
Happy #NationalCoffeeDay! I plan on celebrating by lying in my bed at 2am regretting all those cappuccinos.
TONIGHT: Celebrity chef @jamieoliver's newest cookbook is, "Comfort Food." @ComedyCentral. 11:30/10:30c.
Last night's show, my best yet.
Watch tonight for my hour-long special! *NOTE*- for the second half I will be played by comedian Chris Hardwick.
TONIGHT: Author of "The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self-Control," Walter Mischel. @ComedyCentral. 11:30/10:30c.
Last night's show was Cosby, but it could have been Cosbier. Check out the extended interview: