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Stephen Colbert
comedian comedy television news 6,289,097 followers
Last night's show, my best yet.
I can always sense when there's cheese nearby. I've got excellent ched-dar.
Drug cartels now control the lime trade. Key lime pie still available, but it'll cost you about $30,000/key.
It's April 23rd - when the Earth returns all the gifts it got yesterday.
Thanks, @CakeBossBuddy! I can’t wait to eat this. I happen to know my head is delicious!
TONIGHT: I defend America's middle class and adapt to the devastating lime shortage. @ComedyCentral, 11:30/10:30c
TONIGHT: @UKCoachCalipari discusses his new book, "Players First: Coaching from the Inside Out" @ComedyCentral 11:30/10:30c
AOL email accounts have been hacked, severely compromising our nation's supply of heartwarming forwards from our grandmothers!
Last night's show, my best yet.
Former Justice Steven proposed six changes to the constitution. I've only got two: 1) no changes 2) more guns.
Is there a Norton Anti-Virus, but for your body? Asking for a friend who just opened the wrong email with his mouth.
It's Earth Day but I'll never recycle a thing! It's Earth Day but I'll never recycle a thing! It's Earth Day but I'll never recycle a thing!
Tonight I better know a Congressman from California's "The Angels". This is America, city names, speak English!
TONIGHT: Has the homosexual agenda infiltrated our prestigious U.S. stamps? @ComedyCentral, 11:30/10:30c
TONIGHT: Columnist @georgewillf discusses his new book, "Nice Little Place on the North Side" @ComedyCentral 11:30/10:30c
Last night's show, my best yet.
A new study says America's infrastructure is crumbling. Good news: now the Highway to the Danger Zone is also part of the danger zone.
Oscar Meyer is recalling 96,000 pounds of hot dogs for containing cheese. A hot dog made with an identifiable food? Gross!
I'm back tonight with new shows after my crazy week-long time travel adventure where I travelled forwards through time at a normal rate
TONIGHT: Is @HillaryClinton staging things to gain political advantage? And, @KenBurns talks Gettysburg Address. @ComedyCentral 11:30/10:30c
I'm on break next week so get ready for some reruns. Don't worry, the commercials are brand new!
Last night's show, my best yet.
I knew there weren't any orcs in the audience tonight because Sting wasn't glowing blue.
TONIGHT: Is botox good for your mental health? And @OfficialSting performs a song off his new album. @ComedyCentral 11:30/10:30c