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Stephen Colbert
comedian comedy television news 6,281,315 followers
Is there a Norton Anti-Virus, but for your body? Asking for a friend who just opened the wrong email with his mouth.
It's Earth Day but I'll never recycle a thing! It's Earth Day but I'll never recycle a thing! It's Earth Day but I'll never recycle a thing!
Tonight I better know a Congressman from California's "The Angels". This is America, city names, speak English!
TONIGHT: Has the homosexual agenda infiltrated our prestigious U.S. stamps? @ComedyCentral, 11:30/10:30c
TONIGHT: Columnist @georgewillf discusses his new book, "Nice Little Place on the North Side" @ComedyCentral 11:30/10:30c
Last night's show, my best yet.
A new study says America's infrastructure is crumbling. Good news: now the Highway to the Danger Zone is also part of the danger zone.
Oscar Meyer is recalling 96,000 pounds of hot dogs for containing cheese. A hot dog made with an identifiable food? Gross!
I'm back tonight with new shows after my crazy week-long time travel adventure where I travelled forwards through time at a normal rate
TONIGHT: Is @HillaryClinton staging things to gain political advantage? And, @KenBurns talks Gettysburg Address. @ComedyCentral 11:30/10:30c
I'm on break next week so get ready for some reruns. Don't worry, the commercials are brand new!
Last night's show, my best yet.
I knew there weren't any orcs in the audience tonight because Sting wasn't glowing blue.
TONIGHT: Is botox good for your mental health? And @OfficialSting performs a song off his new album. @ComedyCentral 11:30/10:30c
Let's see...what to tweet about, what to tweet about? I got nothing. What's new with you?
TONIGHT: @OfficialSting discusses his new album & musical, "The Last Ship" and the 25th Rainforest Fund Concert. @ComedyCentral 11:30/10:30c
#Heartbleed Safety Tip: Change your passwords and your mother's maiden name.
If @sherylsandberg really believes women should Lean In, why isn't her entire book printed in italics?
I'm not worried about hackers stealing my Twitter password. It's useless unless they also somehow figure out my username. #Heartbleed
TONIGHT: Barack Obama plots to close the income gab between men and women. @ComedyCentral, 11:30/10:30c
TONIGHT: @sherylsandberg discusses the #LeanIn movement. @ComedyCentral, 11:30/10:30c.
FBI documents allege @TheRevAl was a mob informant. He must have joined @msnbc as part of the witness protection program.
Nevermind. I decided just to buy a new phone.
Quick, does anyone have a phone charger I can borrow? My battery is almost dea