last name ever, first name greatest, middle name exotic dancer .
Hokey Pokeys on2 ur dick
Don't ask me what i do for fun, everything i do has a purpose.
*gets into bmw 5 series*
*drives away with a purpose*
its not gay sex if you say no homo first
fingers are weird??? like…… our arms just split into other smaller arms…………. ok
Watcha gonna do with all dat junk, all dat junk inside ur trunk.
u should recycle it
also u have cancer
*electric slides away from u*
Isn't it weird that we either drink the blood of grapes or wait until they get old and eat their wrinkled flesh
this dank ass weed ain't gonna 420 blaze itself
*weed begins to 420 blaze*
holy fucking chri-
weed: heard u been talkin shit
Bro do you even want my coke?
Hey, dude, catch
*turns around to Oakley sunglasses flying at him*
WHOA, RADICOOL BRO
fun game to play at the movies: not bringing your fucking baby
"Jason Derulo" - Jason Derulo
Take zero, rotate it 360°, it's still zero. And it's also the amount of fucks i give about the fact that i may have offended you
Look how innocent Trayvon Martin looks pic.twitter.com/bXF3uDUoPI
If people in Florida want to start riots please keep them away from my beach house and the 2 Subways my dad owns. Kthnx bye.
Bro do you even have time to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ
Couples who call each other "the boyfriend" and "the girlfriend" should make like Romeo and Juliet and commit suicide
"Jesus take the wheel"
*Jesus begins drifting*
*Wins all street races*
Fast and furious The father the son and the drift king
RADICAL DUDE! wait no, it's *puts on sunglasses* RADICOOL!
Rosetta smokes some dank ass marijuanas
Do a trap remix of all my failed hookup attempts.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Please kill yourself
Cause no one likes you
Um wow dude, i can't believe she chalkzoned you. That relationship had potential.
*smokes a vegetable*
Bro do you even own gas station
i hope ur not subtweeting me, cuz the last guy who did that is the reason why I'm tweeting this from prison
im hiding from my mom behind a coat rack at old navy & playing with my clit
I guess you could say I'm *flips hair* *puts on sunglasses* *strikes a pose* twitter famous
OH YEAH, *smashes iPhone into wall* WELL YOU CAN AUTOCORRECT THIS DICK *dick turns into a duck* god damn
anal is so 2012, rectal is what the cool kids r doing these days
Videos of dogs skateboarding is the reason I feel happiness in my heart.
is it time 4 u 2 stfu?
yes yes yes
yes \_ yes
yes yes yes
I had a pun about anger issues but then i lost it
Your problems with me are not my problems, those are your problems.
Until the early 1800s, the slang term for balls was "twiddle-diddles."
it's 2013 and we still aren't calling black bean soup "african american bean soup" shame on all of us
exCUSE ME THIS IS NORTH CAROLINA. WE DON'T TOLERATE THAT HERE
*sacrifices my brother to satan*
mom: STEFAN WHAT THE FU
me: BUT I SAW IT ON OPRAH
mom: oh ok haha, carry on.
If i cut off my foot and swing it at your head am i hitting, kicking, or just mentally scarring you.
Just think about the fact that there's someone in this world who is literally a combination of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West
UGH whAT THE FUCK GOOGLE GOD DAMN. *throws computer out the window* *jumps out window and dies* FFUCK THE INTERNET pic.twitter.com/Qny0T4v2oO
Committing suicide is good 4 ur health i do it every day nd thats why I'm ~pretty~
Bugs only hang out in my room because they think I'm hot want to see me naked
Why reach for the stars when you can reach for more pizza
THERE'S SOMEONE DRAGGING A DEAD BODY INTO A LAKE ON GOOGLE EARTH pic.twitter.com/5bkm5Jdcqs
Cara Delevigne: *exists*
People with zero fashion knowledge: omg ur my queen ur so perfect omg luv ur eyebrows