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TRANSGENDER TEEN SURPRISED WITH HER FIRST DOSE OF HORMONES MY HEART IS SO HAPPY
Me: "Aw, your baby is cute. How old?"
Woman: "Thanks, she's 34 weeks. Do you have the time?"
Me: "Sure, it's 972 minutes past midnight."
I seriously have the weirdest dreams
It's incredibly hard to accept the reality of things sometimes
Glad to hear they've found water on Mars. Hope that the next find is beer.
when you're broke af but you still continue to spend money on food 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😭😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
Since Halloween is fast approaching ...
why am i a heartless asshole and a sensitive cry baby at the same time
This me tho
nasa: THERE IS WATER ON MARS!!!!!
me: so aliens are real then?
nasa: ✔️ seen at 11:52
those tiny little mini pumpkins. the small ones. you know what i'm talkin' about: Really Nice
if you're so very good-looking, then why do you sleep alone tonight?
when u awkwardly see ur ex more often than you'd like to
when ur baby will only sleep in the car
when u try to be nice and clean the car and the water hose rips halfway through
when ur told to be somewhere early but then the other person is late
will never understand why the smell of girls perfume lasts 8 secs meanwhile boys can go through an apocalypse and still smell like cologne??
Scott: man I just tripped over that bush
Isaac and Liam: vine.co/v/M9pm2Hdz7ZX
watching bae leave like
A girlfriend is a potential wife. Relationships are investments not hobbies. Ya'll gotta grow up.
Quick look busy the boss is coming.
Everyone says they are a great drunk driver, and it is insanely annoying.
Boy: hey how are? Haven't seen u in years!
Me: November 3rd, 2nd grade, you took my spot as line leader did you think I forgot sweetie :)
i don't mind you under my skin
Dogs before & after their adoption 😊.u
girl: ur so pretty!
me: *sobs* So prECIOUS & Pure, whathav e i dOne to desERve thiS BLESISNG
boy: ur so pretty!
me: ok 1. i kno 2. did i ask
Wanna wear red lipstick n look good with red lipstick but no
thank God we have dress code to avoid this
me when ppl try n argue with me:
When u lurkin his faves n u see that he faved another girls selfie
lena dunham a woman who molested her sister and hillary a woman who is pro wars killing woc talk about feminism wow twitter.com/nowthisnews/st…
hello please send me a pizza or coffee
I don’t need fimiimim we SHOULD fight abortion rights, because what’s next? Women choosing OTHER things? Controlling their own lives?? #sick
As much as I don't understand why you guys keep calling me daddy, I gotta applaud some of you that reply to every tweet. That's dedication.
Moms totally run the world.
Baby for sale
*Avoids shaving legs till someone notices*
wears sweatshirt for college ill never go to
Yes, I want coffee. I want all of the coffee that ever existed. Bring me all of the coffee. ALL OF IT.
when you have a caffeine addiction but you're broke because of your caffeine addiction and so you're angry due to lack of caffeine
¿wHat’$ uP?⬆️ iTs aLmOsT da 1sT dAy Of FALL!! 💯☺️🙌🏼🍂🍁 u 👈🏽kNo whAt DaT meAn$???⁰~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BoNfIReS 🔥🔥🔥⁰smOrES 🍫🍪⁰PUmPkiNZzz 🎃🎃🎃⁰~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~⁰Da LeAveS r tUrNT 🍃🍃🌳➡️➡️🍂🍁🍁🍂 &&& so Am I 👀😹😹😹 ⁰~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When u have to write your summer reading essay and didn't read the book
Go get @Drake
album .....I just grabbed it .....he talking Dat talk on here!!!!!!