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squidward
music lyrics quotes 1,120,767 followers
isnt it weird how with some people you never run out of things to talk about but with others its you always end up talking about the weather
I want an iPhone with BBM and a Nokia battery.
*gives people advice when I can't even handle my own problems*
i'm not entirely sure if i am angry or sad or both or neither or hungry or tired or bored, i just don't even know
why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone
"Beauty sleep” is such bullshit I sleep 12 hours a day and I still look like a trashcan.
Son: Dad I've got a girlfriend Dad: Really show me her pic Son: See this pic.tvvitter.biz/pic/hugzu78n Dad: OMFG!!
Teacher: "You're here to learn." Student: "No, we're here because it's the law."
there’s nothing worse than being hungry but not being able to figure out what you’re craving
Son: Dad I've got a girlfriend Dad: Really show me her pic Son: See this pic.tvvitter.biz/pic/hugzu78n Dad: OMFG!
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
normal person: sings lyrics me: sings lyrics me: sings backup vocals me: sings guitar riffs me: air-drums entire song me: headbangs
Who else does this? 1. wets toothbrush. 2. puts toothpaste on toothbrush. 3. wets toothbrush again. 4. starts brushing teeth.
Son: Dad I've got a girlfriend Dad: Really show me her pic Son: See this pic.tvvitter.biz/pic/hugzu78n Dad: OMFG
I hate texting people who don't use smileys, I feel like I'm texting an emotionless robot.
Son: Dad I've got a girlfriend Dad: Really show me her pic Son: See this pic.tvvitter.biz/pic/hugzu78n Dad: OMFGG
I’m addicted to wasting my time
S-T-U-D-Y = [S]inging, [T]weeting, [U]nlimited Texting, [D]reaming, [Y]awning.
I have time for: • Twitter 🐦 • Texting 📱 • Eating 🍔🍟🍗🍕🍝🍤 • Listening to music 🎧🎶🎼 Now notice bullshit wasn't on that list.
I need a job that pays at least 10,000 dollars an hour
Burger: $0.99 Salad: $5.99. And they wonder why everyone is fat.
8 year old kids today have Facebook, MacBook pro, iPhone, iPad. When I was their age, I had a coloring book, crayons, chalk, and imagination
Son: I am going to do this pic.tvvitter.biz/pic/hugzu78n Dad: what??? Son: yes, tommorow Dad:OMFG
School for 12 years, college for 4 years, then you work until you die. Cool.
I study → I take the test → I pass it → I forget what I learned