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Sockamillion
cats 1,365,725 followers
BAD NEWS am probably d-list celebrity GOOD NEWS pretty fun seeing who else is down here and going HELLO I AM A CAT ON TWITTER how are you
sitting on couch armrest TA DAH seriously where's my medal GOING TO GLARE UNTIL MEDAL AWARDED surely you will understand my glaring PS MEDAL
TROT TROT TROT TROT sit WAS THIS ROOM IN NEED OF A CAT OR MERELY IN WANT OF A CAT well regardless problem solved
FISH GOTTA SWIM birds gotta fly I WANT THEM ALL IN A SKILLET TO FRY can't help loving that food o' mine
AND WHEN YOU'RE DONE WITH HUBERT MAYBE IT'S TIME TO CONSIDER A WHOLE OTHER RANGE OF CATS AND DOGS homes are almost better than food
HI THERE so this dog named hubert in massachusetts has been in this shelter for over a year GIVE HUBERT A HOME miltonanimalleague.org/#!dogs/c1ew9
ICE BUCKET WHAT hiding until next summer
ONE MOMENT engaging my brand HEY STAY AWAY FROM THE LITTERBOX still engaging the brand THERE WE GO chuf chuf chuf BRAND ENGAGED
FIRST THEY ASK YOU then you ignore them THEN THEY BEG YOU then you ignore them THEN THEY OFFER FOOD then you win
CAME FOR THE EAR SCRATCHES stayed for the belly rubs
HA HA ice bucket NO
MISTER WILLIAMS YOU WERE ONE COOL CAT
CONFUSED BY "INTERNATIONAL CAT DAY" every day international cat day MAYBE IT IS SHOVE TWICE AS MUCH FOOD IN CAT DAY no that's every day too
DOING A FRANCHISE REBOOT ON THE EPIC SAGA OF EVERYTHING ON THIS DESK cleared desk 2 the crashening
ALSO ONE LAST META-SOCKINGTON NOTE marketing come-ons continue to come in roughly once a week THANK YOU THIS HAS BEEN BEHIND THE LITTERBOX
ALSO CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN EXTREME KITTY LITTER
WELL THIS HAPPENED finally a marketing come-on that's worth pooping on pic.twitter.com/HgO4Z0F1ns
lick liick lllick liiiiiiiick lick lick liiiick liiiiiiiiiiii OH GADS BRAIN FREEZE no wait NOPE JUST FUR MOUTH
LITTERBOX TEMPORARILY CLOSED chuf chuf chuf chuf chuf LITTERBOX OPEN probably should continue to consider it closed for a tad
IT PUTS THE KIBBLE IN THE BOWL or it gets the looking away cat again
SSSSSSSSSTTTTRRRRREEREEEEEEETTTCCCCHHH that's right folks THREE CUSHION CAT work it work it
bonk CRASH tad dah VOILA vase of flowers is now socks' tropical fusion HEY DON'T CLEAN THAT UP socks' tropical fusion is copyright socks
SUMMERTIME AND THE LIVING IS FRANKLY EQUALLY EASY #didntchoosethecatlifeitchoseme
ah monday afternoon THE WEEKEND STARTS NOW these 4 hour work weeks are killing me
JUST WANTED A MILLION PEOPLE TO THINK ABOUT @meyerweb AND THE LOVELY REBECCA twitter cats can only do so much I am afraid
OH NO I FORGOT HOW TO CAT wait a minute its coming back THERE WE ARE ahem BRING ME FOOD BRING ME FOOD BRING ME zzzzzzzz FOOD zzzzz
trot trot trot trot ooo coffee table LOW RIDIN’ LOW RIDIN’ nggh trot trot trot
QUICK POINT OF ORDER if I break something of yours and you yell at me it just sounds like dubstep to a cat SO LOSE LOSE ALL AROUND REALLY
EXECUTING SOCIAL MEDIA STRATEGY rubbing against pillows rubbing against banister rubbing against pants NOW WAITING NEAR BOWL FOR PAYOFF
LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN hi thanks for letting me in BRINGING TERRIBLE FOUND THING IN WITH ME AS MY +1
HAPPY MOM DAY MOM WHEREVER YOU ARE your little kitten never forgot the smell of your fur
OWNER OF ALL I SURVEY turning from staring at bookshelf WOW THAT’S EVEN MORE OF WHAT I OWN best day ever
LITTLE CONFUSED constant talking at me not accompanied by shoving sushi tuna into my face GET IT TOGETHER JEEZ
IT HAS BEEN FIVE DAYS SINCE OUR LAST push crash IT HAS BEEN ZERO DAYS SINCE OUR LAST
EVERYTHING IS AWESOME everything is great when you’re falling asleep EVERYTHING IS AWESOOOOOOOME
AND FINALLY @sockelganger apparently ate every other potential sockington offspring JOG OR SOMETHING KID pic.twitter.com/IqF0SV7DgZ
@sockington Linus has moved on. His people hope for Humane Society donations in memoriam. Help spread the word? flickr.com/photos/rebekah…
Retweeted by Sockamillion
@sockington Great sorrow announcing the death of beloved Sockamillion Army member Peekaboo Cat mascot of @MMPCheri wp.me/pvc6B-vm
Retweeted by Sockamillion
AND WHAT IS THIS LEAFY BAG OF GREEN I SEE IN THE CAT DRAWER ah sweet mary jane snniiiiiifffffffffff AND NOW I AM PETER PARKER hop hop hop
staring staring staring staring staring TWITCHY TAIL TWITCHY TAIL staring staring staring YES THIS IS EXACTLY ABOUT THE NEW AIR FRESHENER
MUST AVOID COLD FLOOR executing plan f PLAN F IS SLEEP ON FATTY'S LEGS fatty is like a sleeping sun patch COME BACK SUN PATCH ALL FORGIVEN
@sockington Can I get a shout out for Kali, 2000-2014? Dignified, until, the end. pic.twitter.com/ki3uyOO4PS
Retweeted by Sockamillion
I WILL NOT DIGNIFY THIS SUBPAR OUT FOR FIVE MINUTES FOOD WITH AN ANSWER what are doing what that spoon and mixing OH WOW NEW FOOD hrrrrgphl
Sick. Went back to bed. When I woke @sockington was on the bedside table like a nurse. Or a vulture. He was atop my phone so no pic.
Retweeted by Sockamillion
AND THE WINNER IS sockington again BEST PERFORMANCE IN ACTING LIKE HE HAD NO PART IN THE DINING ROOM INCIDENT
GOOD NEWS CURTAINS you're on the shortlist YOU TOO CARPET on the shortlist GUESS WHAT FLUFFY GRABBY COUCH CUSHIONS yep shortlist
SERIOUSLY PEOPLE WHAT IS WITH PANTS how do you handle it