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Professor Snape
Add "Snape-Chats" on Snapchat to see what Halloween parties are like at Hogwarts...
Congratulations to the Giants for winning the World Series..
Quidditch > Baseball
Look. Either you can agree with me or you can be wrong.
Quit your job and tell your boss you're going to Hogwarts... #Slytherin #BenchedUSA #ad
Today is National Tell a Story Day. Twilight is the story of a young woman's difficult choice between necrophilia and bestiality.
Mondays make me feel like a Dementor is sucking out my soul.
Want to be something really scary for Halloween? Go as Dolores Umbridge.
JK Rowling to publish a new Harry Potter story online for Halloween…
Honey Boo Boo has been cancelled. The final Horcux has been destroyed.
More Americans have been dumped by Taylor Swift than have died from Ebola.
It's called fall because everything is falling... leaves, temperature, bank account, gpa, self-esteem, Dumbledore
It looks like Renee Zellweger has been making some Horcruxes..
More Americans have been married to Kim Kardashian than have died from Ebola.
Do not argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
Yes but can Peyton Manning play Quidditch?
We need fewer Bella Swans and more Hermione Grangers in this world of Pansy Parkinsons.
Every week should be Harry Potter week.
President Snow is me everyday at Hogwarts when I see couples in the hallways
You should be required to read a book for every 10 selfies you take.
It's an unforgiving world. The key to life is not caring what anyone thinks... #LordsAreComing #ad
Whenever I worry that I've been wasting my life, I cheer myself up by remembering that I have never read a Twilight book.
More Americans have been dumped by Taylor Swift than have died from Ebola.
Someone needs to make a Harry Potter game where Lord Voldemort is the final Lord Boss... #LordsAreComing #ad
If you were sad about Robin Williams and you're laughing at Amanda Bynes, check yourself. Mental illness isn't a spectator sport.
This Hermione dog costume made my day
Friends are temporary. Harry Potter is forever.
Someone sent this to me on Snapchat. Send something to me: Snape-Chats
The sins I have committed have left their mark... But at least it's cool tattoo... #DarkMark #LordsAreComing #ad
We definitely don't have good BBQ at Hogwarts. Honestly, Dobby is a terrible cook... @Wendys #BBQ4Merica #ad
Could this be the answer to JK Rowling's puzzle?