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Shit On Your Tweet
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I would quit but you see the way my ambition is set up...
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Congratulations to @drizzy_moray for taking a technical lead in the Loyal To The Game #FPL league. Enjoy the temporary stay at the top, son
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Gays should stick to just fishing for complements elsewhere.
I think gays should be banned from writing/directing/producing TV series. I was just about starting to like Tyrant.
De Gea needs to be dropped.
Why isnt anyone mentioning how useless De Gea has been for us in the last year.
Unauliza dere mix ni ya DJ mgani anasema ni yake "@hos_utd: Unaingia jav unashow msee ako next seat wewe ni DJ anakushow pia yeye ......"
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If you think about it as a Holland fan, you'd rather you meet Brazil at the Final cause honestly they're just shit.
A good thing about dating a vegan is that you could kill 2 birds with 1 stone when you buy flowers because they're also a snack for later.
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Origi will be a definite failure in Liverpool. You heard it here first.
I don't know where I am!! I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM!!
I'm high and my conscience still Argues, French Montana is shhieet
Oh God, so good The music plays on
Best weed I've had in years! BEST WEED IVE HAD IN YEARS MOTHERFUCKERS!!
Got to protect your property, even heaven's gated.
Why would anyone want to shoot themselves or others when we live in a world where weed, titties, Game of Thrones and free music exists?
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"It's summer! Yay! No more school shootings!" - American children.
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You can buy a birthday cake if it's not your birthday, those dipshits don't even check your ID.
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Her desires are innate
Strange dreams, heavy rains, white walkers. These are the things that trouble my soul.
Everyone in Kenya hates you people with bags.
Yes, yes. Just bring your bags to my place.
"Can I have more of these mouse spears?" "Sir those are toothpicks" "I need 1000 for my army. We march at dawn"
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I left Stephen Hawking like 8 voice mail messages before I realised he'd picked up every time.
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[Jesus goes over the bill at the last supper] "Why would-[closes eyes & rubs bridge of nose]-Why would anyone order wine?"
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I wouldn't wanna die hungry.
#np Kari Jobe - Find you on my knees
Any girl posting baby pictures is not worthy unprotected sex
Its plain stupid to date a girl that listens to a lot Nigerian Music and Riddim
Still yet to choose who is my favorite between Lana Del Rey and Biffy Clyro
imagine if your fridge did what you do everyday,every half hour goes to your room opens the door and stares at you for 5minutes then leaves
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The most feared killer whales are the ones that have done time in Seaworld.
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*Obama approaches podium* Fellow Americans, I like cookies with raisins in them *press starts booing* They're good & healthy *Michelle nods*
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*reads a note sombody put on my desk* [i heard u caught a cold! i hope it FLU away!] *drops note* what.. WAT IS THIS SOME SORT OF SICK JOKE
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Nigerians eating human flesh, yo.
What is the difference between Nigerians and a bucket full of shit? The Bucket
This is not the performance you need before you play the Dog and Gun never mind Bayern Munich. Is their season gonna end in 1 week again?
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You guys are a real pain in the ass
And we do have livescore
If you joined twitter between 2012 and now you're excused from tweeting while watching the game. You can actually do whatever shit you like
Is it that you want to share the joy, or you just want to let us know you're part of it?
Er, excuse me. How do you tweet while watching the game?
You can only rob people in Kisii on Saturday when they're all in church.
Shes just from sucking another mans dick before she tweets you romantic quotes.