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Ever have to pee in the carpool line? Me too. I'm up on @HaHasforHooHas today talking about it. #TheStruggleIsReal
If you missed it, my hilarious friend @OutNumbMother KILLED IT the other night 1st time EVER doing stand-up. WATCH:
If you thought graham crackers were just for eating, think again. Read @ModMomMad guest post about #CramCrackers
Can 1 teenager change the world? Looks like @aidancares already has: The Kids are Alright! @SisterwifeSpeak #Tedx
I just want to stop sneezing long enough to tie my shoes.
Go ahead... you know you WANT to! 13 Surefire Ways To Make Life Difficult For Your Family via @ModMomMad
Did someone turn off Twitter today? *crickets*
Who here thinks that I would make a great candidate for #BrandAmbassador at @pieholewhiskey? Show of hands, please.
5 things drivers do that piss me off DAILY. #amiright
I spend half of my life daydreaming about Gerard Butler and the other half looking for that other fucking sock.
If you're not on Instagram, you need to GET ON and answer this question:
My corgi just broke off her collar to chase a motorcycle down the street. If that's not gangsta, nothing is.
How this teen gave a TEDx Talk and changed the world:… (via @@housewife_plus)
Publicists, please stop sending me shit via email pretending that you read my blog. It's annoying, I delete them all, and you suck. Thanks.
And THIS is why I have remained strong in my conviction: ONE AND DONE. You are a bigger (wo)man than I, @PunkWife
Daily_Good This is EVERYTHING! Meet @aidancares A Boy On A Mission, Teaching A Generation To Give #DifferenceMaker
If you look up the word asshole in the dictionary, you'll find THIS guy. #humanityfail #douche #AIDS
My friend @OutNumbMother was OFF THE HOOK last night during her 1st ever stand-up comedy routine! #KickAssMom #Love
I'm printing some to take to my next conference. It's pure genius!…
Ha! Thanks for sharing my current mood with the world! <3…
Because insomnia sucks and I'm sick. Happy Monday.
Sorry @pieholewhiskey but the typo was killing me.
You're not a parent until you find a roll of electrical tape in your bedsheets.
I'm not saying I'm my own worst enemy. I'm just saying that I only ever decide to do crafts using rice with my 8yo AFTER I vacuumed.
This is one of the essays from the "It's Really 10 Months: Special Edition", anthology. It is available now for...
This is how I feel 99.9% of the time. The other 1%, I feel like a whore. #HookerNotHooker #TheStruggleIsReal
Even @ScaryMommy liked our book @really10months Special Delivery! She just shared @OutNumbMother piercing incident!
I just wolfed down a salad like a death row inmate. Probably should've waited till the cashier finished ringing me up though. She seems mad.
I hate being sick. It feels like I swallowed a spur. Now I know how cowboys feel when they sleep with their boots on.
If news anchors did this more often, I might actually enjoy watching the news. #hilarious
My friends at @really10months are always watching out for me. Thanks, girls! ❌⭕️❌⭕️ #PieholeApproved
My friends over at @really10months are always watching out for me. Thanks, girls! ❌⭕️❌⭕️ #PieholeApproved

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