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Taking your pants off is a good way to let someone know you feel comfortable in their home.
👍🏻 R@MisfitMtMamama: Getting to the Laundromat with Kids in 75 Short vi@SamPsychMedsds
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore. In other words, Sally is a fucking idiot.
Me: If you could be any any animal, what would it be? 7yo: A hairless cat. Me: 7yo: What? I don't like to be hot!
Trying to pack for a trip with a kid IS a trip.
I love arguing with my kid about how hot it is outside. It's fucking hot...You win!
I could give you 1,000 reasons why I hate to clean, but this is #1: #TheBattleOfMidtownMom #MomFunny
Apparently, slim chance and fat chance have the same meaning.
When It Rains, It Poops - @FoxyWinePocket is ALWAYS good for a poop story!
Currently in day 4 of summer break, and I couldn't agree with this writer more! #ThisSAHMShitIsHard #YouLadiesAmazeMe
Is Bitch Slappin' Barbie a thing? Should be.…
I wish I could just cut out the middleman and have the light honk when it turns green.
This is the first baby I've had with 30 other women. It's like a messed up version of Twins.…
My Daughter Threw 47 Plastic Dolls Into A Bathtub. Their Response Will Shock You! Sassypiehole | You've been warned!
Siri just told me to stay the hell indoors.
I wish my cat would stop thinking outside of the box.
No. Never. It really needs to be longer! ❤️❤️❤️…
If you put an empty 40 oz bottle to your ear, you can hear the ghetto.
Dear @comcast, Why is your customer service so shitty? God forbid you hire people who are skilled in the art of kindness. Your friend, Sassy
Oh nothin'... Just walking the dog.
RT @Eric_Nikiforov: I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize
I'll Sleep When I'm Dead (And Other Parenting Myths) — Sassypiehole | You've Been Warned! #Parenting #Humor
Yes. Yes she did! RT @OutNumbMother: I Came, I Saw, I Lost my Key and Found my People: BlogU15…
You know what I like about people? Their pets.
The struggle is real RT @LetMeStart Raise your hand if you’ve ever had a picky eater. *raises own hand* Now read this
I Used Thread For Dental Floss, Choked On Chef Juan's Hair And All I Got Was A Mild Case Of Ringworm: This Is BlogU!
Finally got around to writing about my #BlogU15 experience & I haven't even touched the surface. #MiddleSchoolAwkward
What kind of "that mom" did you say you'd never be? <-- Here's my list.
HA! I wish I'd of written that one, but street cred goes to @Jamie_FitsofWit ;-)…
Guacamole is my favorite food that looks like someone already ate it.
To all of you losers out there who say that I'm boring: at least the police think I'm "a person of interest."
The next blog workshop begins Monday. If you want to learn how to blog, make the most of Facebook and other...
My new BFF @jennykanevsky has some sound advice: How To Avoid 3 Big Mistakes In The Early Days Of Divorce via @themid
Like @ChipotleTweets? You're gonna LOVE this from my friend @Jamie_FitsofWit: My Love Affair With Chipotle…
I wonder if earplugs could be surgically implanted for a more "permanent" solution. #BlogU15 aftermath
Closest I've ever been to becoming a beatnik and one of the coolest experiences of my life. Too bad I'm chickenshit.…

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