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Pssst! Hey, women who can't flush the fucking toilet in a public restroom... THIS ONE'S FOR YOU! ow.ly/TVePz #BathroomNightmares
If I could flat iron my face without getting a third degree burn, I'd do it. #WrinkledFace IfYouDontNeedItBurnIt
Thanks to all who came by to throw some love my way at parisonponce this afternoon. My 1st book… instagram.com/p/9R_WBSHxBv/
Suuurrrsly... even Gerard Butler wants to come to my book signing tomorrow! Well... KIND OF. #IRTM #Atlanta #POP
Hobbs & Hayworth are back! With a review of the Remington Perfect Bun.... sort of. youtu.be/dAZlLqhWhoI?a @ModMomMad @HayworthAudrey
TGIF. The only four letter word I allow our children to say.
I just got yelled at for walking too fast and making a princess balloon wiggle… in case you were wondering what having an 8yo girl was like.
Dear Family, Sort your own fucking socks. Love, Mom
At the rate my waistline is expanding, I'll be surprised if I'm not in Sweden by the weekend.
I can't believe #Halloween is in 8 DAYS and there aren't more #BitchesOnBrooms! @HayworthAudrey is on a mission: ow.ly/TLFoT
If you're heading to @AtlantaArtsFest on Sunday, be sure to swing by @parisonponce and say hi! I'll be there from 1-4 signing books! #IRTM
OOoooo... a SERIOUS post from yours truly: Too Cruel To Be Kind | Sassypiehole #kindnesswins ow.ly/TGeWd
Come to my book signing on Sunday at parisonponce 1-4pm so it doesn't come to this! instagram.com/p/9FJuv_HxKH/
My mood swing had two levels: Just getting warmed up and Ima 'bout to kick you in the face.
If you could get drunk off Pop-Tarts, I'd be hammered right now.
When you're out with your toddler and she spills her water all over you, and you can't get up now because it... fb.me/4tWqZNrEG
Sassypiehole Memes | Try Not To Laugh - Sassypiehole | You've been warned! sassypiehole.com/sassypiehole-m…
Just because we can't SEE you, doesn't mean you should be an asshole! ow.ly/TkSDj #Mombat | The Fight Amongst Creators
How to wear out an 8-year-old in five easy steps. #RelayRace instagram.com/p/8wHyQWnxP5/
Most women get diamonds for their 10 year anniversary... I got to pan for my own. #LuckyGirl #PinchMe instagram.com/p/8vv3igHxJv/
Love @sassypiehole? We do too! And we love her story in our book even more! ow.ly/TfJh5
I mean, if you're GONNA be a gynecologist. instagram.com/p/8rfeKsHxL4/
Here’s what 10 days without food looks like: ow.ly/2bvHBv via @ScaryMommy
Just got a phone call that the installation guy is going to be an hour late. Way to run a business, @comcast.
Why not just SAY you'll be there between 11:59 and 12:00? #cableguyproblems instagram.com/p/8qY27YHxC0/
My friend & coauthor from @really10months Special Delivery @TheUnfitFather defends his right to only have one child. twitter.com/scarymommy/sta…
I don't always serve my kids food in Tupperware. But when I do, it's probably Friday. #ParentingDoneRight
Today's reality courtesy of therealramblinma 😜instagram.com/p/8oF0YhHxLT/a
YAY! I FINALLY made the @ScaryMommy cut via @themid Menopause, Weight Gain And The Master Cleanse ow.ly/Td6yz #TheStruggleIsReal
Nothing makes my kids more suspicious than when I actually put lipstick on. #parenting
Hey PUBLICISTS... now you can contact the PIEHOLE directly from my website! ow.ly/TcUUv #StopSpammingMeWithBullshit

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