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Sarah Millican
comedycomediandvd 1,258,108 followers
Blissful day. A great birthday lunch for a smashing friend. Plus I said hello to loads of dogs.
I just nearly cried trying to choose the right oil for my car. I think I'm tired.
Accidentally put subtitles on for X Factor and when the audience were "booing", I read the subtitle as BOING!!!
Starting my next article for @StandardIssueUK (new online mag, worth a follow)after X Factor.Might have some crumpets to get my brain going.
I met a dog yesterday that fucking stank but I didn't say a word.
"I wanna know what love is. I want you to show me" - man who hasn't got the hang of using a dictionary.
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That @salihughes has written a brilliant no-bull book about beauty. Read a bit here.…
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Why doesn't my iPhone understand that I have to take 10 pictures of my cats every day?
Tour of #SaneNewWorld starting tomorrow on the road again with only me and my mouth
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Oh I can't get enough of An Extra Slice. And the addition of @RomeshRanga this week made me particularly happy.
My #ff for this week is @StandardIssueUK, a starting soon online magazine for which I'll be writing alongside some amazing writers. Follow?
Morning all (just). Today for me is walk and steak.
This Cat Requests The Biggest Hug Every Morning! Check This Out!…
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Mock the Week is back & starts on BBC2 at 10pm with a cracking line up incl @Kathbum, @MrEdByrne, @GaryDelaney @joshwiddicombe and regulars.
I can have ice cream if I have 3 pieces of fruit first. My new rule.
Haha x “@TiernanDouieb: @SarahMillican75 and the beginning of a Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes prequel.”
I got monkey's blood in my iPhone yesterday. That's a helluva clash of cultures.
Off to sit in the garden even if it is too cold.
Woohoo! It's publication day for Walking Home: My Family and Other Rambles. To celebrate I'm going for a walk. Obvs. #WalkingHome
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It's croissants and coffee today at Standard Issue HQ. Then hoovering (with our mouths) the crumbs from the keyboards before we start work.
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Roy Hodgson: That thing where you say hello to someone, then realise you don't actually know them.
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George the wonder cat has gone missing. S10 Sheffield. PLEASE help find him as our little man is 💔
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I'm writing for this. Follow? X “@StandardIssueUK: We are a new online magazine and it's not long now before we open our doors. Can't wait!”
the brilliant @GaryDelaney will be on @MockTheWeek this week and then here for his first visit to The Lights on 2 October - we can't wait
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Last night I saw @Hannahgadsby at @sohotheatre, I think she's now my favourite fucking comedian. PROTIP: BUY TICKETS…
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It's not too late to make a cake, is it?
I was a bit too hydrated. Thank God I found Long Lost Family: What Happened Next. WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Sycamore seeds woven in willow by Tom Hare in Oslo botanical gardens #Norway
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We're cracking on with the admin this morning. So that we can sit in the garden this afternoon. We hope the weather has the same timetable.
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I'm sure Ted is lovely but he is definitely not a charity. So, support the ace @macmillancancer instead by going to the Glee Brum tomorrow.x
That should be in aid of @macmillancancer as @MacMillan seems to just be a fella called Ted. @TheGleeClub.
There's a great line up @TheGleeClub tomorrow in Brum for their 10th birthday including @realrossnoble and @philnichol. All for @MacMillan.
<plug>Well this is bloomin' lovely from the Radio Times: Starts tonight by the way. </plug>
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Oh good. A new series of @DaveGorman's Modern Life is Goodish starts on Dave at 10pm tonight. *Series links*
Dear Men of this World, "it's in our hands to stop violence towards women." @SirPatStew #RayRice #AllMenCan
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Condoms made of bubble wrap? Poppycock!
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Catching up on last night's Strictly and resisting the urge to throw glitter at myself.
London! This show is ace! “@AngelaBarnes: Just a little reminder that my @sohotheatre show is on sale now, 7-11 Oct…
I've done a big shop and the fridge has more than just milk and an old onion in it. Hooray.
So @StandardIssueUK is a new online magazine coming soon. So many ace people writing for it incl @AngelaBarnes @felicityward & @jennyeclair.
So excited about @StandardIssueUK, an exciting new magazine coming soon. Amazing people on board, Follow and get ready for the launch!
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Ace line up on Wed @ Brum Glee Club for their 20th @realrossnoble @philnichol @johnjmoloney Andy Askins.For MacMillan
New magazine! “@StandardIssueUK: Morning! It's Monday and it's busy here at Standard Issue HQ.Not long now til we show you what we've got!!”