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Sarah Silverman
CROOKLYN! See y'all there! RT @RoughTradeNYC Ahhh! @SarahKSilverman is here tomorrow signing copies of her new reco…
HEY SLACKERS: Bad politicians are elected by good people who don't vote. REGISTER TO VOTE NOW: …
it's imperative that you not make eye contact when dealing w drunk people
AUSTIN! I can't believe it's the last night! #ODDBALLTOUR
That shit never bothers me b/c who cares but I feel like this one is bigoted. The Jew girl MUST want a RING! Yich
Why would I want the govt involved in my love life? Ew. It's barbaric.
Just read that I wanna get married which is hilarious b/c I will never get married.
Courage is more exhilarating than fear and in the long run it is easier -Eleanor Roosevelt
We have to remember that people are doing the best they can with what they've got (herpes)
Hey I'm alone in my kitchen and I just called a fruit fly a silly goose
I was in HS & took a bus to NYC for a GYPSY open call. I didn't get seen but I saw @BillNunnTOP there & was starstru…
I spelled atheist wrong yesterday, so clearly there is no god
There isn’t anyone you couldn’t love once you’ve heard their story -Mary Lou Kownacki
I could look at this forever. A teeny tiny @amyzvi
If I've learned anything it's that I should feel very sorry for myself
Jewish Muslim Christian athiest -whatever - I don't like people who try to kill people. That's some unexamined shit
In the NH area & believe in a woman's right to choose? COME JOIN ME on the 27th in CONCORD!
they were all in my dream RT @nytimes Latest News: ISIS Coalition, Ray Rice, Alibaba & Miss America
I like a lumpy pillow. Literally. It's not weird sex slang
Digested food, reporting for doody
I travel alone. Just me. So can u take into account that I may get a lil scared if u come up & yell my name in my face? Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you @TheLeftoversHBO for filling the hole that #LOST left
U should crunch the ice in ur drink if u wanna be a fucking animal & gross people out
I bet the Guilty Remnant spend a lot of time at Staples #TheLeftovers
Holy shit RT @nbcsnl And on 10/4, we've got @SarahKSilverman hosting w/ musical guest, @maroon5!! Kicking off #SNL40 right!
Why would anyone be against the sep of church & state? And- those that are tend to be big constitution peeps too. WEIRDDD
I cannot clear my history enough. I wish I could bleach it.
CONCORD NH sisters & bros: V2ShiningV is coming! Get tix now. I'll be there w/ great performers. #LPJ927 #V2V14
She was 81 and she was taken too soon.
My heart is torn in half. She wasn't done. #Joan
RT @chrisdelia We are in Chicago & @SarahKSilverman & @billburr are having so much fun it's fucking unbelievable
I'm sorry I can't be alone with this
We have a gig in 2 weeks and I'm not doing it without you YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS @Joan_Rivers
Why'd they stop? RT @UberFacts Chainsaws were originally created as a tool to help deliver babies.
clearly written by a duck RT @UberFacts Duck semen actually has the ability to kill bacteria.
This lil boy dreamed of being a DP & thank goodness bc I've gotten to work w him for 10 yrs & counting #RHETTBEAR
Jesus Christ, Joan. You can't be in the hospital - you have work to do! This is BULLSHIT. @Joan_Rivers
Stopped in the senior center at the 92nd St Y -- it smelled like a million Nanas. Heaven
Passed by an awesome asscrack in starbucks
I think ITS COOL that the Welsh flag was drawn on the cover of a notebook by a boy in an iron maiden t shirt