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Sarah Silverman
comedian actor writers 5,396,429 followers
Well it's official. I have a concussion
No context nec. Please enjoy this email I got from @twittels "Ten dicks not sucks... Stupid iPhone"
Right before Mary threw up she was doing this: @cococohen
my doctor said I'm a late night tweeter
Some experiences you don't want to learn from
I can't sleep. Hey, Europe ...
2:28am. Just ate an entire loaf of sourdough bread with butter
I can't believe the bachelorette picked @DougBenson! Congratulations Doug!
Friend: you into MMA? My Boyfriend: Sorry? Friend: What are you into? Boyfriend: Poetry competitions
Watch Masters Of Sex tonight so I have someone to talk about it with after
This tee shirt is for toddlers. It's a half-shirt. It says FUCK. It's 84 dollars. Goodbye forever.
Whaddayasay we have y'all's Gods fight it out & keep the children out of it, sound good?
Hey Lil Mamas this is for you (no boys allowed)
Got a cosmetic procedure that gently loosens &crepes the skin. takes years but I'm starting to see results!
Repression breeds no good things
Hey Chickens! I have a new record coming out on @subpop
Hey Chickens! I have a new record coming out on @subpop
There's a real cocaine-y vibe among the Bachelors
I have Angelina Jolie's lips, it's just that they're in my underpants
Once read the best article on Steven Tyler where he said RocknRoll's about the 3 M's: Money, Music & Mmmpussy
*Replace Hubba Hubba w Chumbawamba