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Sarah Silverman

writer comedian actor 4,383,150 followers
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Text “REDCROSS” to 90999 for $10 donation to help tornado victims in #OKC DO IT
  2h
I came home to this today. He stands still for several consecutive moments. Minutes. say.ly/HPl5SPK
  3h
We have too many Marie Antoinettes & not enough Peter Pans
We take it for granted. Seinfeld is always great. I can't be blind, Jerry. The blind are courageous.
I'm officially declaring this hurricane a terrorist act. #PrayForOklahoma
Thank u my p-in-c @lynchland & awesome Adam Schlesinger (@fountainsofwayn) PERFECT NIGHT say.ly/GKG5Rtf
new music video: PERFECT NIGHT featuring @iamwill I made this for you. say.ly/fyi5Rtc
Preshow in 5 mins, LIVE streaming show starts in an hour! First up, @Sethrogen & me YouTube.com/comedyweek
The man that I love thinks that Splash is "the best show on television"
Mama's gonna keep baby cozy and warm. Of course mama's gonna help build the wall.
Mama's gonna keep you right here under her wing. She won't let you fly, but she might let you sing.
Mama's gonna make all your nightmares come true. Mama's gonna put all her fears into you.
Basketball brings people together say.ly/rFd5QGn
That cookie feels like a racial slur RT @RebelWilson I could probably eat my body weight in macaroons x
I love & accept people who love & accept people
I hate to be negative but if there's a God & if it's possible for an airline to get AIDS, I hope God gives @AmericanAir AIDS
I wasn't on stand by I had a coach ticket bought and paid for. @AmericanAir #neveragain
Well I got to the airport 2 hours early & then was not allowed to board because the plane was too heavy. My friend o… say.ly/ymM5Qtu
Egg on my FACE! RT @daxshepard1 @SarahKSilverman I think he meant "Kite;" which then makes sense, because kites CAN'T go out in the rain.
In half? That's so specif RT @(omitted) @SarahKSilverman I want to crack every kike tooth of yours in half. U have NO talent jew
I don't get the rain part RT @(omitted) @SarahKSilverman u better watch were you go kike u can't just walk outside in the rain
I bet u get tons of (hairy) pussy! RT @DrPizza I think the right to control ur own body is far more fundamental than the right to own guns
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to the 2 greatest moms a girl could ask for! (Yes, Mom, I know I ended that sentence w a preposit… say.ly/pIC5OaK
The GOP wants to wish you a Happy Mother's Day say.ly/lSL5O7L
We're ALL against murder, whether it's of actual people & or not-yet-alive goo #NotSoDifferentAfterAll
Dear gun peeps, Why y'all protective of privacy when it comes to guns but not when it comes to repro rights?
Does anybody else's fingers spontaneously combust at the joints? Just out of nowhere? say.ly/Vuk5NRd
Security just called my hotel rm w a noise complaint - that's how hardcore i am (I'm Skyping w my mom at 10:45 on a Sat)
Walgreen's Pain Reliever: now with dark red dye! say.ly/xHc5NLK
Whole bag of caramel popcorn for dinner: check
My #1 hero & the greatest human I never met (but have known since I was little) READ THIS: say.ly/syr5NpJ
I look like Snoopy IN PICTURES
If ur not looney tunes or a criminal, how could background checks possibly hurt your precious gun boners?
Tiny plane. Excessive amount of gum chompers. This may be the end of me.
Oh, you've been on your way to 'ew' for a while now, Malina. RT @JoshMalina On my way to @EW for an interview
Wait- if shame was caused by a bite off a crappy apple, why are we staying with it's bad-apple ideals?
Instagram pic got deleted- sry!! Was just a pic that came up when I googled "hairy vagina" in dentist waiting rm 4 no reason
This video is made from Zach's song. So special- check it out @ZachSobiech youtu.be/7zxXAtmmLLc #mylastdays #clouds #forzach