I miss the days when my biggest problem was making sure I avoided hot lava by jumping from couch to couch.
Every time I put my iPod on shuffle, I realize I hate half the music I have on it.
Me: wakes up
Me: "5 more minutes." Goes back to sleep.
I don’t understand why people take pictures of themselves showing their middle finger… seriously, was the camera mean to you or something?
Physics is defiantly the worst science out of the 3
T̶r̶e̶a̶t̶ ̶p̶e̶o̶p̶l̶e̶ ̶h̶o̶w̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶t̶r̶e̶a̶t̶e̶d̶.̶ Treat people how they treat you.
Me: I’m just going to rest my eyes for 5 minutes.
Me: Wakes up February 8th, 2096.
McDonalds should have 3 drive thru windows.The one u pay at,the one u pick up ur order &the third to trade in all the wrong crap they gave u
I wish the minutes between hitting the snooze button lasted as long as microwave minutes.
Things end. People leave. And you know what? Life goes on. Besides, if bad things didn't happen, how would you feel the good ones??
Shout out for ➡➡➡ @georgiakate27
Go follow her now, she follows back! #teamfollowback
The 2011 earthquake in Japan has shortened the day on planet Earth by 1.8 microseconds.fuckk now that would have made a difference,lol! ;)
The awkward moment when you're at your friends house and your friend is getting yelled at so you just stand there and pet the dog.
The awkward moment when you’ve already said “what?” three times and still have no idea what the person said, so you just agree.
RT if you have like 50 t-shirts but you only wear 7 of them and complain that you have no clothes...
9,999 followers, good bye being able to see the exact number of followers 👋
It takes me 10 seconds to write the text and 4 minutes to find the emoji to go with it
"Are you as bored as I am?" Read that backwards, it still makes sense.
Remember when phones were stupid and people were smart? Ahh Good times.
1. You Get Robbed... 2. Update Facebook Status... 3. Tweet About It... 4. Call 911
Some people need to open their small minds instead of their big mouths.
Reasons why I’m still single:
✔ can’t date the internet.
✔ can’t date my favorite celebrity.
✔ can’t date twitter.
✔ can’t date myself.
Hardest thing to answer: Describe yourself.
Your life is a book; don’t jump to the end to see if it’s worth it. Just enjoy life and fill those pages with beautiful memories.
The best 2 days of school are always the first and the last.
That awkward moment when you shout the wrong answer in class with confidence.
: Totally almost dropped my phone on my face..that would have hurt!” Oh believe me, it does! Lol 😂
don't stop retweeting please pic.twitter.com/YUqU9vy2DC
I don't make the same mistake twice. I make it at least 9-10 times to be sure.
Sometimes it takes a wrong turn to put us in the right place.
No one is as good looking as their profile picture, and no one's as ugly as their drivers license picture.
My 83 year old neighbor got pulled over for speeding. She told the cop she had to hurry before she forgot where she was going. #lol
That awkward moment when you stay trapped in your room because there's strangers in your house.
We met → We talked → We liked → We called → We texted → We dated → I loved → You cheated → We're done → You're deleted.
Lmfao someone thought that was in Canada. Well that flag proves otherwise :) pic.twitter.com/Um9cuTQUMg
Isn’t it ironic that to be popular on social networks, you have to sacrifice your social life.
Climb mountains not so the world can see you, but so you can see the world.
You suddenly become someone's Twitter crush and they unfollow you for not loving them back. BECAUSE LOVE IS BY FORCE RIGHT?
If I die in my sleep I can actually say I died doing what I love.
I wish electronics would scream a little bit when you unplugged them.
I take the L and R on my headphones way too seriously.
There are no stupid questions. Just stupid people with stupid mouths forming stupid words.
Who remembers going on the computer just to go on paint and space pinball?
The generation of today are so allergic to everything, future wars will be fought by throwing bags of peanuts and cat hair at each other.
How do people approach their crush I don’t even have the guts to ask for an extra ketchup in McDonald’s?
Nobody’s phone is ever off. They’re lying.
I cheated on my fears, broke up with my doubts, got engaged to my faith and now I’m marrying my dreams.
The only thing worse than having a song stuck in your head for an entire day is not knowing the name of the song!