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Still quite annoyed that I can't fly or set things on fire with my mind
COOL DATE IDEA: take a really long nap with me
Deadlifts and doughnuts, today is a good day 🍩
Genie: and for your third wish? Me slamming down my fork after finishing my second cheesecake: TAKE A WILD FUCKING GUESS BUDDY
Retweeted by Saffron
Maybe I'll get out of bed at some point today, Maybe I won't
It really bugs me when I see someone with their dog and the dogs ears are flipped inside out. Dude! fold your dog's ear back!
I just sneezed and kneed myself in the face :))))))))
'Sorry I'm late, I got a bit carried away with my shower performance this morning' 🎤
The guys at work get some sort of takeaway everyday & it's so hard to be good with all the heavenly smells floating around the office #killa
Nap breaks at work should be compulsory
Productive mornings 👌💪
I look like I got lost in the woods overnight
As an adult, I'm not eating nearly as much ice cream as 10 year old me thought i would
Shin splints are a bloody nightmare
People that open crisp packets the wrong way up... How do you sleep at night?
Peanut butter protein flapjacks are what it's about 😋
Doing the 'ahhh' after a sip of tea instantly makes the cup of tea 50x better than it already was
I've woken up with the Pokemon theme tune in my head, today is going to be a good day
What the EFF Game of Thrones?!?! 😧😠
Get addicted to happiness. That shit feeeeeels good.
Retweeted by Saffron
Little Ruby's 1st birthday 'What is this long stuff stuck to your head'
Remembering your tea after it's dipped below optimum drinking temperature is SUCH a sad time
'Don't let what you consume consume you.'
Now accepting applications for a new cinema buddy.
Merrrr 🐭
I've seen some terrifying things in my time, but I think the inside of a camel's mouth has gotta be up there with one of the worst
I like to lick things I love. Chocolate... Nutella... Peanut butter... People...
Retweeted by Saffron
Toe just about recovered from having a weight dropped on it so what do I go and do? Drop another weight on it, obviously :)))))
People that put the milk in first when making tea...... ?!?!?!?!?!
No pain no gain, right?! 😶
The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!
Help my arms are no longer functioning
Daredevil is so good
Very tempted to go to bed as soon as I get in from work today 😴
Holy guacamole shit got real #GameofThrones
I just want Kim and Kanye to name their baby Wicki Wicki Wild Wicki Wicki Wild Wild West.
Retweeted by Saffron
Just noticed that they've put The Wild Thornberrys and Recess movies on Netflix. My day has been made.

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