My social life has become more lame than a birthday after the age of twenty-one.
I've been in this hotel for so long that I almost told the maid to get the fuck out of my house.
I better write it down…
"You have skis for hands… you could do a handstand down a fucking mountain and be totally fine."
Bundle up, kids!
I woke up in Missouri! :)
Words don't quite explain everything I'm trying to say.
By the time you read this, you'll be older than you remember.
When you don't know what you're doing, it's best to do it quickly.
Kansas City, where the sky is so blue.
I'm officially addicted to Duck Dynasty.
If people on Earth became friends with extraterrestrials, we'd make a reality TV show called "Let's Trade Planets" because this is America.
Think I might…
It's too cold outside for angels to fly.
Improve your memory by eating memory foam.
Martin is passed out already! :) pic.twitter.com/P3ysYQaHza
P.S. Never buy animal crackers out of a vending machine.
Damn girl, are you sitting on an F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing.
You make me happy when skies are grey.
I'm wide awake, it's morning.
Never miscalculate the amount of time it takes to heat up a donut in the microwave.
I should probably be sleeping, but instead I'm sitting here trying to determine which zodiac sign my pet rat falls under...
Waking up before noon should be illegal.
I light you up, you put me out.
It's 2013 and they still haven't found an instant cure for hiccups.
People run from rain, but sit in bathtubs full of water.
With our dreams combined, anything is popsicle.
I am not a morning person.
on the inside.
Time with old friends is time well spent.
The demo version of my song "I Could Be Loved" is up for digital download for only $1.00! ♥ ryanpuett.bandcamp.com/track/i-could-…
You're beautiful, never forget that.
Let me sing you to sleep! :) youtu.be/7R_k_Q0Q88U
My music cuddles with lonely hearts.
When in doubt, hug it out.
We've all got a few mental disorders up our sleeve.