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I just misread cook book as cock block. I need help
I was outside for like an hour and I'm pretty sure I'm dead now
I just saw a video where this girl didn't notice she had a huge spider crawling on her face. How am I supposed to live my life after this??
There are so many good games on steam right now goodbye money
I think I'll renew my wow subscription and hibernate for the next week
I'm reading old messages I sent to ppl and laughing at how funny I am
My mum just walked in in the middle of a oitnb lesbian sex scene. She's probably very confused rn
1% doing what feels like actual work and 99% admin
Diane abbott looks different this week
There's a huge difference between "expressing an opinion" and just being an awful person
Nigel Farage's private browsing history
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I am procrastinating so much that I've just scrolled through 3 days worth of tweets
I just want to eat digestive biscuits and cry about how bad I am at stats
*breaks down*
We've been working on Earnably for literally months so it would mean a lot if you checked it out!
We're finally open! Please go visit our site, sign up, and start earning some points!
Retweeted by Ryan
*dies from exhaustion*
I probably could've worded this better but I'm finding a lot of the posts about the #londonprotest infuriating.
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Enough getting angry about politics for one day *returns to work*
sky news: "the police have estimated around 100 people were protesting" 100? can you not count? #ToriesOutNow
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Hooray, @CarolineLucas holds her seat. Like finding a tenner in your coat pocket as you watch your house burn to the ground. #GE2015
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Even if the electoral system is corrupt, proportional representation would have meant UKIP would have won a lot more than just 1 seat
After everything, after every fucking scenario I considered I never ever thought a majority would happen. I feel sick this is horrible
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You can barely call this a majority when almost half the population aren't going to be happy with the result
Even though UKIP probably aren't going to win a lot of seats it's still terrifying that they're getting so many votes #GE2015
Going to bed on #GE2015 is a bit like Christmas Eve except with the risk of waking up to find Santa has set fire to all the presents
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Anyone who votes UKIP today is a total fuckwit
why have I just renewed my wow subscription right before my exams
Someone needs to bring me biscuits and give me a massage
I hope he does wonderwall
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I feel so empowered when hot guys like me back on tinder
So done rn
Happy bday me
*cringes hard*
I cringe every night over things I've done drunk
I never know if I should swipe or tap anymore. Trust no one
*bathes in sweet white wine*
Sometimes I just write loads of tweets and save them to drafts. One day I'll post them.... But today is not that day
why and how are people favouriting my tweets from 2012
I'm going to dress all of my children like this. everyday
I need to wake up early tomorrow AND the clocks are going forward?? WHY
In the last week I have dropped a glass, plate and a cheesecake in work. I am so sad
I am still alive btw
All I see is a white and gold dress in really bad blue lighting
I haven't been on twitter for five days and now everyone on my timeline is talking about this stupid dress
Me and Dave Franco are going to be very happy together

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