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Man...Meek Mill fans are really slow.
Women will curve you & recommend a friend for you that's a 4.
In the past five years, at least six Americans have been shot by dogs.
Nearly dropped on the bus & as i grabbed the bar, I grabbed this guys hand by accident & our fingers locked. He said "I have a man"
I don't chase women I show em the same amount of attention they show me unless she showing too much
No homo we smokin penises!!!!
This looks like a succesful transfer deal to me 😂😂😂😂😂cStGXnA2D
When a yoruba boy breaks ur heart and u curse him with misfortunes but his mom's prayer keeps him going 😋8
Statistically, one in every two and a half men is HIV positive.
Congratulations to West Ham, the only club named after two things ISIS hate.
when you're dead and you realize you don't have to work anymore cause you dead
When the pussy so good you die in it..
Your WCW still has to place her finger under the words when she reads
"Dates are for bitches who fucking." - @iDntWearCondoms
"I'm celibate" = my pussy on injured reserved
Vladimir Putin: "To forgive the terrorists is up to God, but to send them to see God is my duty."
"i'm voting for donald trump because i've never seen a president assassinated" IM SCREAMING
2016 has to be my year because this one actually couldn't get any worse
Black people play NBA 2k then go to gym & try be Kobe.
White people play Call Of Duty then go to school & try go on a 30 kill streak.
"Left hand is steering the other is gripping your th-"
Legends: Saturday’s #Clasico
will be the first Clasico in 15 years that won’t feature Xavi or Iker Casillas.
Teach a woman to fish and soon you’ll discover that you’re doing it all wrong, you’re a colossal idiot and please just get out of the way.
Zawadi Nyong'o raised 6 million in a day. Maina Kageni raised over 20 million in less than 2 days. CORD raised 1.5 million in two months.
I put the D in dysfunctional.
Just joking, I put it in your mom.
Anonymous has taken down more than 3,800 ISIS Twitter accounts since the Paris attacks trib.al/dpGtp32
Americans: Muslims are so violent
Me: ok but police co-
Americans: shut up. Don't judge a group of people based off a select few.
When she's on her reds so you tell her to get on her..
"Thou shall not pay child support" - RealNiggas 3:17
Nigerian leader says ex-president's adviser stole $2B meant to buy weapons to fight Boko Haram bit.ly/1SBnFA4
Rooftop infinite pool in Singapore 😍🙌zw4
my dad fuckin wasted lmao
"I once got so drunk I shit on my ex's porch, rang the doorbell and forgot to run" - Oklahoma State University
When weed becomes legal in my state
Charlie Sheen has come out as HIV positive.
ISIS has claimed responsibility.
WHAT DID HE DO WRONG? RT @Hii_ImHER
: Like the dude that sent me a picture of his penis because I told him I was hungry ....
"Do I smell like weed?"
"Nah, do I?"
"Nah you good" - 2 niggas who smell like weed
You see how fast Obama aged in the White House? Bernie sanders gone be dead in 2 weeks.
Shouldn't have to work hard to get a woman you're feeling, either its mutual or nothing else
Call your girl beautiful but sometimes roast her and tell her that her head too big for her body
Liverpool still haven't won the league.
Lmao my fucking chest
This tooth, found in a cave, is the source of DNA from an old, mysterious cousin of humans nyti.ms/1N7nWNh
U need to let me know to slow down if it gets this good to you...
*accidentally purposefully turns conversation sexual*
If I text a chick and she hit me with the “who this?“ I send her dick pic, see if that refreshes her memory
You're a " millennial" if you're born from 1982 to 2004.... That saddens me because technically I'm in the same generation as you retards.
hitting ISIS right where it hurts by denying them of their eyelash extensions
It's so obvious that Obama the type that says "nigga" 😂
If president Obama started using profanity in his speeches >>>>>>>>
I'm talking Samuel Jackson grade profanity.