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Everybody curses a matatu driver who overlaps, until it's them in that matatu & they're late. "Si aingilie hapa tu twende!"
Niggas like being called "daddy" till the pregnancy test comes back positive
When your girl gives you gas money but you use it to cheat on her
Niggas will say they'd never hit a woman it's just wrong then beat tf out a female pedestrian in GTA 5 talkin bout "she deserved it" smh
No wonder you hoes love Chipotle so much
MLK DIDNT SAY THIS.
NELSON MANDELA DIDNT SAY THIS.
GHANDI DIDNT SAY THIS.
MOTHA FUCKIN MEOWTH FROM POKEMON SAID THIS.
Remember when Arsenal fans said we overreacted whenever De Gea made a save. They'll do the same now they have a world class keeper.
How is Mata or Oscar even a debate. Ones banged in 10+ goals per season since 2010/2011 while the other bangs his sister.
"Y'all think EVERYTHING makes a woman a hoe. STFU" - Woman with exceptionally high body count
WHY DOES THIS NIGGA TRANSFORM INTO A DOG SO PERFECTLY 💀3
if she 14 then im 14 steps away from her already cause i ain't finna be that nigga on dateline NBC saying "I just came to help her study"
Dentist: Ok open up
Me: Well I guess it all started when my dad left.....
Dentist: No I mean-
Assistant: Wait Bill.......let him finish
Obama reduced the sentences of prisoners with nonviolent drug related crimes. God blessing ALL the trap niggas.
if you want to gain followers!
Follow EVERYONE who retweets this tweet!!
#TheDetox @xclusivedeejay @emigeeish @NationFMKe
1938: England football team give Nazi salute before the match against their German hosts.
BREAKING: Liverpool and Borussia Dortmund have come to an agreement on Marco Reus.
They've both agreed it's not going to happen.
Look who is at the stadium. @D_DeGea
with a deathly stare, somebody must have told him Madrid signed a goalkeeper.
Bastian Schweinsteiger in a @ManUtd
shirt in all of its glory. Soak it up people, soak it up.
"Bear with me, dog."
im drunk af and my mom won't tell me how mermaids have sex .. i'm probably gone pack my things & move out now
Easy to say supporting a team from another country is glory hunting but they wake up at silly times every weekend to watch their team play
Ladies being a hoe ain't better than getting cheated on by a nigga that love you
Just saying experience has taught me good women don't like me... And who am I not to learn from experience
You rather judge a man solely off his tweets than what he tells you in confidence.... Because that's logical
After I got my heart broken for real it can't get broken anymore.... I just get disappointed with chicks now.
Niggas just want a girl that every time you check her page it say “last tweet 3 days ago”
Niggas turn into stand up comedians when ya girlfriend come around
Women went from havin no rights to thinking they’re always right
Jesus died on the cross to save us and Future's marriage died to save music...I'm not saying he Jesus but I'm not saying he's not
People may call Delph a snake and he probably is. But at least he signed a new contract to get Villa some money. Shame De Gea won't do that.
When all your ex's become friends
19 yo Algerian midfielder that plays for Palermo. Chelsea and Man Utd interested. Requested fee around £13m. twitter.com/EdenBasedGod/s…
story about the first time i got in a fight in school
I give up on Ugandans 😢�#KOTvsUOT
How God has blessed Ugandans with the ability to smell danger #KOTvsUOT
when you was acting up in public and your mama pulled you off to the side to threaten your life
"So then Beckham swung it in, Teddy knocked it on and Ole did the business. Sorry Basti. No hard feelings right?"
White people in movies be having eggs, bacon, and pancakes on the table & they take one sip of coffee & be like "Gotta run hun" NIGGA WHAT?
Who would u rather have as president? rt for Gucci fav for trump
Stunning Nero Nemesis Aventador!
Manchester United have now signed a Dutchman, an Italian, a German & a Frenchman this summer. Continental.
If you're choosing a shirt good luck choosing between Schweinsteiger, Herrera, Memphis, Schneiderlin, Otamendi, Mata. Impossible.
Asmir Begovic has as many goals (1) in the Premier League as Mario Balotelli scored for Liverpool last season.
if ed woodward wants more depth in man united's squad, he should sign huddah
is delighted to announce the signing of @BSchweinsteiger
from Bayern Munich on a 3-year contract. #WelcomeBasti
Man United sign Depay, Darmian & Schweinsteiger for a fee of £52.4m, the same price Liverpool want for Sterling.
On this day in 2008, #Arsenal
signed the devil's bastard demon child Samir Nasri in a £12m deal. arsenalreport.com