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Roddy Thompson
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A snail that meows, a squirrel in an astronaut suit, a crab with a whale as a daughter, The creators of SPONGEBOB were obviously high.
Whenever I accidentally hurt my pet, I'm like "OH MY GOD! OH IM SO SORRY!" and they run away and I run after them like "LET ME LOVEEE YOU!"
#thingsihatemost People who wear band tshirts and don't even listen to the band
aarrrgghhh my account has been hacked this is really weird....
Advertisement: We sell food as hot as your neighbour's wife and beer as cold as yours!
When a bird hits the window, do you ever get the feeling that God is playing angry birds at you??? :D #angrybirds
Meanwhile in the UK....I can't wait for summer, the rain gets warmer :-) #rain #thingsihate
Summer still hasn't properly started in the UK #rain #thingsihate
When I lose a game, 'It's only a game...' When I win a game, ' Haha! In your face bitch :D'
Complete shocker that Nadal is out of Wimbolden so early... #wimbolden #nadal #shock
Everyone knows that, when you've got friends, one of them is a dickhead. Now if you're thinking "None of my friends are dickheads..." :/
The new @MilionPoundDrop is really good! So tense! :D
When you don't know the name of a song and you google as many words as you can remember and hope for the best #music #song #google #whatido
Scroll fast, it turns into a dolphin 🐢🐷 🐢🐷 🐢🐷 🐢🐷 🐢🐷 🐢🐷 🐢🐷 🐢🐷 🐢🐷 🐢🐷 🐢🐷 🐢🐷 🐢🐷 🐢🐷 🐢🐷 🐢🐷 🐢🐷 🐢🐷 🐢🐷 just kidding you idiot
People always ask why girls go the the toilets together, well... Harry potter and hermine went alone and got attacked by a troll
Maroon 5? You mean Adam Levine and the guys that stand behind him... :D #maroon5 #adam #levine #moveslikejagger
I swear a rejected high five is the worst insult ever... :/ #awkwardsituations #awks #awkward #rejected #highfive #insult