Please upgrade your browser to make full use of twiends.   chrome   firefox   ie   safari  
Want to get more twitter followers? Click here to watch our video.
 
Rob DeSantis
Nothing gets the blood flowing like being on a conference call. Specifically I mean blood dripping out of your ears, nose, and eyes.
Do a shot every time you wonder if anyone will notice you're masturbating. #ConferenceCallDrinkingGames
Do a shot every time suicide seems like a viable career option. #ConferenceCallDrinkingGames
Do a shot every time you have to answer a meaningless survey question. #ConferenceCallDrinkingGames
I'm doing pretty well at my new job. Like well enough where I might be able to stop pretending I'm not a piece of shit around my coworkers.
Watch Our New Sketch: Man Hears for the First Time: youtu.be/IedGs6Y4kLE via @YouTube
Retweeted by Rob DeSantis
You know what sucks about going to the gym after a night of heavy drinking? ...pretty much everything actually.
Hey guys, what's the best place in my internet dating profile to discuss my love for Pokemon fan art?
Double Snooze Button: Difficulty Level - Super Easy.
I have a week lapse in health insurance before my new insurance kicks in. If anyone needs me I'll be sealing myself into a bubble.
Just saw "Men's must haves: floral prints!" On a clothing site. I officially don't understand anything about dressing well.
I need to lose weight, anyone know how I develop a coke problem? Nah that probably requires networking skills...I'll just run or something.
Most of my awkward behavior can be explained by the fact I'm in a constant state of needing to poop.
Me: Women, can't live with 'em, can't drown them in a sack. Friend: you're thinking of cats Me: what kind of monster would do that to a cat?
Photo: I’m sure this is street legal. tmblr.co/ZwSQqs1JVsFMs
I'm sure this is street legal.
$2.4 Billion Revel Hotel In Atlantic City Warns Workers It May Close In 2 Months gothamist.com/2014/06/19/24_… pic.twitter.com/HMWmQxGqgR
Retweeted by Rob DeSantis
It's OK I'm in my 30's and want to see Earth to Echo right?
Guys, all the rumors of me doing hardcore porn are grossly over exaggerated. I've been doing softcore porn.
This was our 50th Episode of Bob & Dave. Please Listen & validate the small amount of work we put into it stitcher.com/s?eid=34426168 #Retweet
I switched to an organic chemical free deodorant on the most humid week of the year just in case anyone needs further proof I'm an idiot.
Someone just sent me a profanity laced email at work. I'm impressed someone was drunk enough at 10:15am to think that was a good idea.
Bob & Dave return with Philadelphia comedian Paul Easton and co-host of the Eric Toddcast Steve Rees. The guys... fb.me/2Zollx8mZ
Buddy of mine texts me and says "I had a three some last night" then text me a picture of a dog and jar of peanut butter. I need new friends
Hey they aren't going to cancel this season of Iraq's Got Talent are they? #Iraq #ISIS