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Richard Lindesay
Sexism in technology: Configuration is always done using wizards, never witches.
Reckon it's about time they released another testament of the bible. Complete the trilogy.
So why does the best thing keep going back to being sliced bread, even though we keep finding things better than it?
Before sliced bread, I wonder what people said things were the best thing since.
Lane especially for @gunsnroses. Bit niche.
I think what #DWTSNZ could learn from Strictly Come Dancing, is to outsource the pro dancers to Eastern Europe
If I ever had to choose a gangland boss name I'd be Vincent Steel
I hear his new stage name is going to be 50 Peso cents (US$0.03)
Thank Roxette it's Friday
International Joke writers On Comedywire including me scl.io/RspUXApu
International Users On Comedywire including me scl.io/RspUXApu
Bizarre in NZ that nearly every time I turn on the TV there’s someone on it that I know. And no, not CrimeWatch.
Finding lately that when I part company with people they always seem to mention this small Swiss city tmblr.co/ZDRAOm1p10I4X
"Weirdest thing ever is seeing your friends kids who are now the age that you met the friend" - Richard... tmblr.co/ZDRAOm1o_Xhsn
That's what I call "Accidentally driving into a closed motorway and having it to yourself" tmblr.co/ZDRAOm1o_Swdn
NZ vs Aus Sports Legend Smackdown #DawnFraser
Photo: Anyone else think this logo looks like it’s buffering? tmblr.co/ZDRAOm1ozW0JW
Photo: Enjoying some Englishes (as they call them in China) tmblr.co/ZDRAOm1ozUA_3
"True equality will come when all the people of the world can share the same time zone" tmblr.co/ZDRAOm1ozQFYV
Photo: My favourite flavour of things is lamb and mint but this was too crunchy tmblr.co/ZDRAOm1ozO6CB
Just lost an argument with myself. I think sometimes I’m TOO persuasive.
Any advice on how to make friends? I'm asking for an acquaintance of mine.
Having some Englishes (as they call them in China)
Was struggling with how to get over my insomnia so decided to sleep on it
Figured out that "Yeah Nah" is New Zealand lingo for "I don't know".
My ideas for improving coffee quality: 1 - Start a new specialist coffee shop 2 - Burn down some Starbucks
I’ve had so much coffee today that I’m starting to see smells
It's a dog eat dog world - Lucky they taste so good
People who gather ashes urn everything they get
History Fact: Bungy was a result of an accidental fall luckily accompanied by accidentally untied shoelaces
I hear that Greece isn't doing so well and they're going to have to sell off John Travolta
TV show that hires out cars to strange perverts - Pimp My Ride
I hear people are against gay funerals and they're going to have to live forever
Eating my words. Nouns are crunchiest.
Some people call me The Space Cowboy - Really odd people, who are wrong.
Give up, Kinder Surprise. Today's kids have higher expectations.
Apparently #PrinceGeorge wore nappies = nappies sold out
I think I'm the only person in New Zealand who doesn't have a NutriBullet. PS what's a NutriBullet?
Saw a guy completely covered in pastry Well I suppose if the choux fits...
The @FarmersNZ logo looks like it's buffering
My guess is that Scott is the cool brother. Sorry Brendon. #dwtsnz
"You can out here and gave it a shot" - The ultimate backhanded compliment #dwtsnz
Whether it’s a one liner joke really depends on the size of the font and the length of the paper. richardlindesay.com/blog/oneliner-…
Comedying Wednesday with 28 jokes including six about my largely fictional family. comedy.co.nz/Forms/Booking-…
I pirated Frozen and now it's got Johnny Depp in it
MERS has infected 1,100, killed 400, and there’s no cure. But don’t overreact! #MERS todayonline.com/world/asia/sou…
Richards Dream #1 - I want to live in a world where we can all agree to use the same time zone
Rocking the Westlife playlist. Suspect that Flying Without Wings is about their first go in a helicopter.




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