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Richard Lindesay

4 tickets left for Fools Suffering Gladly opening on Wed NZComedyFest…
Opening night Wednesday, filling quick! Book now!…
I have NO IDEA what to do with this information, milo.
On @TheFlatfm now talking about jokes and @NZComedyFest show Fools Suffering Gladly
Comedying at @QTheatre in a couple of weeks with @AshtonJBrown. Do you like racist and sexist jokes? Then don't come.
Richard's Innovative ideas #365 - Tinder for recruiting
Just literally had the "missing out on cake" moment like Milton on Office Space.
Curing diabetes? Piece of cake! (Joke I won't be doing at my @NZComedyFest show)…
Richard's new coffee lingo - Nearly Empty Black = Espresso
Richard's new coffee lingo - Flat White with no Screech = DO THE MILK PROPERLY
Richard's new coffee lingo - Savoury Flat White = Flat White, no sugar
I am going to get on the left side of the escalators at Holborn and sit
Sausages are meat bananas
RT now for chance to win double pass to Fools Suffering Gladly at @NZComedyFest! Drawn Friday.…
I'm such a maverick that I once left the office at 4:55pm without explaining ANYTHING
Who would win? Z Nation zombies lead by Teen Wolf now, or Walking Dead zombies lead by 80s Teen Wolf?
Maybe the late bird catches something better. Not everyone is into worms.
Whether you are over the moon or not depends on your global location and planet positioning
If I was to swap lives with a tree for a day I'd totally just stand about
The instantaneousness of instant noodles really depends on the scenario you make them in
Bought some wine at IKEA and in the box was just some grapes and a stopwatch
I read on a website that marijuana is actually good for you, which is probably why users have their lives so together.
Will Cameron continue playing with the Chipping Norton 5 a sides? #CameronReSign
Why did David Cameron cross the road? Panama. #CameronResign
Do you reckon Trump has enough money to buy back his soul? #TrumpTrain
Bought some wine at IKEA and in the box was just some grapes and a stopwatch
#LiveTweetThe80s OMG Freddy Mercury AND Elton John are gay? PS what does OMG mean?
In the time it takes my girlfriend to get ready to go out, a hobbit could have walked to Mordor.
In reality teddy bears picnics would involve bears eating kids
Bought a two for one deal for membership of the NZ Wine Society and AA
No one ever asks what it would be like if lambs could fly. Pig prejudice.
I wonder if the Queen's guards do their pubes like that too
Defying popular sayings - I count my chickens before they're hatched (just break the eggs)
Defying popular sayings - I make my own bed then don't sleep in it
I was brought up as a vampire but we only drank the blood of one person - Jesus
The Earth's tilt is the real reason for the season
I am the one and only nobody I'd rather be, except Chesney Hawks
To all teens - Michael Caine is cooler than you and he is 83
Resigned to the fact that we have Cameron #resigncameron
#MasterChef how about MasterKnit? Judging who can knit the best food?
My life is like a roller coaster. The up bit.
Remember camera phones?
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