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Richard Lindesay

Don't drive faster than 30Mph into this bin
This is what I call Peeing up a Curry
Modernisation - How many pods would a podcaster cast if a podcaster could cast pods
How to get broken key remote: 1/ take it to @CobblerCare Newbury for battery replacement, 2/ staff break it and conceal it from you. Done.
My Dad is really clever, but too hairy. All brains and no Braun. #1PUN
My review of @CostaCoffee new Colombian beans - Terrible but not atrocious
Panama Geisha filter at @Colonna_Smalls before Comedying at @KomediaBath
Finally located my long lost childhood hide-and-seek friend
Tonight someone told me that my comedy Alice Coopered her makeup. @RealAliceCooper, you are a verb.
@RichardLindesay Great to see you back on Howler, thanks for the giggles.
Retweeted by Richard Lindesay
#thoughtoftheday - If you grind white flowers into a powder, you have flower flour.
I feel sorry for elephants because they can never hug
People these days are too into approval from others. Retweet if you agree.
Oh god. It is like SOMEONE is continiuing to do this. Why would they?! @RichardLindesay
Retweeted by Richard Lindesay
Laughters the best medicine unless you're choking
Bought a book called "30 Minute Curries" which shows you how to make 30 really small curries.
Maybe bald guys should just say they have a head Brazilian
PrinceP only just retiring at 95. Should have planned better, maybe put some money aside.
May you go forth and conquer
In Review: ‘Fools Suffering Gladly’ – The Speakeasy…
Apart from my hypochondria, I've got nothing wrong with me.
I am the solo synchronised swimming champion
#BGT How clever of you all to put an act on that blatently copies our set. The press will love this.
Retweeted by Richard Lindesay
Comedying at Comedy Keller in Exeter next Sunday with 45.5 jokes and a clipboard @EminentBanter
The first rule of irony club, there IS NO IRONY CLUB.
I have the opposite of amnesia where I forget things that haven't happened yet
My brother insists that he is not bald because he has hair <- as in singular.
Mmmmm it's almost Xmas egg time
If it's not foke, don't brexit.
Clocks went forward on the weekend and now I have jetlag
I’d like to join optimism club, but they’d probably wouldn’t take me.
Remember back when trolls just charged you to cross bridges
Humans spend an inordinate amount of time focussing on either increasing or reducing their amount of hair.
Sexism - The fact they never burned people for being Wizards
Spent the whole day today multitasking i.e. watching Gilmour Girls AND eating cheese. @GilmoreGirls #gilmoregirls
At @ComedyAvengers in Taunton this evening, with 22.5 jokes and a clipboard. #Comedying
I'm a New Zealander but I'm so out of touch with New Zealand that I don't even know who the current president is
I’m addicted to 12 step support programs. There you go, I’ve admitted it.
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