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Mark Felter
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. #badjokefriday
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places. #badjokefriday
In Jr. High my English teacher looked at my way and said "name 2 pronouns?" I said "who, me?" #badjokefriday
Why are there no knock-knock jokes about freedom? Because freedom rings. #badjokefriday
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you! #badjokefriday
Sermon prep time is hard work. But rewarding.
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband: "You have perfect eyesight." #BadJokeFriday
So Proud Of My Hawks!!!! #HawksWin
I think I held my held my breath the whole last 4 minutes. #ChicagoBlackhawks #GoHawks #NiceToBreathAgain
2 bats are hanging upside down on a branch. 1 asks the other, "what's your worst memory?" The other responds, "The day I had diarrhea!" #BJF
PS143.8Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul
finished #Walking (3.21mi / 2h 2m 3s / ave speed 2.84mph) view (via sportstracklive)
started #Walking watch live (via sportstracklive)
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. #BadJokeFriday
God I know you can heal my Dad, but if you choose not to I will still serve and follow you.
finished #Walking (4.77mi / 2h 34m 53s / ave speed 2.82mph) view…
Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines everywhere! #BadJokeFriday
Wow! What a great game! Double overtime and Chicago comes out with the win. #GoHawks
What do you say to the person that's always correcting your grammar? There, their, they're #badjokefriday
Tell me what is fair or not fair in this life. #fairornot
beat 10 personal bests for #Walking (6.08mi / 1h 52m 8s) view (via sportstracklive)
started #Walking watch live (via sportstracklive)
finished #Walking (0.0m / 38.0s / 2 calories) view (via sportstracklive)
started #Walking watch live (via sportstracklive)
A man drove his expensive car into a tree last night. I guess he now knows how a Mercedes bends. #BadJokeFriday
2:15 in the morning is too early to start the day.
I just finished walking 6.57 miles in 2h:07m:29s with #Endomondo #endorphins…
beat 9 personal bests for #Walking (6.13mi / 2h 7m 31s) view (via sportstracklive)
started #Walking watch live (via sportstracklive)
I just backed SilverAir Sock - Odorless Socks Made With Pure Silver on @kickstarter
I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control...I thought to myself "Well, this changes everything!" #badjokefriday
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.#BadJokeFriday
Are the things you are living for, worth Christ dying for? Oscar Murio
My vacuum cleaner broke. I put a St. Louis Cardinals sticker on it, and now it sucks again. #badjokefriday
Save The Beach (Silver Birch Ranch)… via @gofundme
I just backed Clingies - A simple versatile clip on @kickstarter
beat 3 personal bests for #Walking (5.62mi / 1h 58m 41s) view (via sportstracklive)
started #Walking watch live (via sportstracklive)
What did the green grape say to the purple grape? "Breathe, idiot, breathe!" Very #badjokefriday
The invisible man marries the the invisible woman. The kids are nothing to look at. #badjokefriday
Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there. Happy Easter!
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh #badjokefriday
A man walks in to a bar with a slab asphalt under his arm and says: Beer please and one for the road. #badjokefriday
Satan’s plan: sacrifice your youth to folly, adulthood to lust and rage, senior years to bitterness & envy, never experience abundant life
Retweeted by Mark Felter
A dyslexic man walks in to a bra.. . #badjokefriday
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love & got married. The wedding wasn't much but the reception was great. #badjokefriday

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