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Mark Felter
A gold bar walks into a bar and the barman shouts, "AU get out of here!" #badjokefriday
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it. #BadJokeFriday
The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense. #BadJokeFriday
Check out MightyText - SMS from your computer using your current Android number! @MightyText
Not only do pastors and teachers need to understand theology in greater depth -- the whole church does as well.
Retweeted by Mark Felter
Think it's a good day for a hike.
What does a vegan zombie eat? Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains!! #BadJokeFriday
I think I found a good dentist. At least the best dentist I've had. Dr Aadland in Vancouver.
I've always had a difficult relationship with my parents. When I was first born I hardly spoken to them for the 1st year. #BadJokeFriday
Daja Moo: The feeling you get when you heard this bull before. #BadJokeFriday
I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day #badjokefriday
Pavlov is sitting at a bar, when all of the sudden the phone rings… Pavlov gasps, "Oh crap, I forgot to feed the dogs." #BadJokeFriday
Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A: A nervous wreck #badjokefriday
Proud to be the 2,746th backer on @BackerKit for SilverAir Sock - Odorless Soc... | Thx @yathletics!
Made it to Chicago. Waiting for 303 taxi. Funny thing is I'm being to wake up.
In Minneapolis. 27 hours awake.
Been awake for 22 hours. Worked 12 of them. Now a 3 hours flight a 1 hour layover and then an hour flight to Chicago.
Flying out on a red eye to ORD. Moving my dad into an assisted living apartment. Not sure what this week will bring but God is good.
I love @Uber! Sign up with my promo code and get $20 off your first ride!…
In the last year exaggerations went up by a million percent.. #BadJokeFriday
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. #badjokefriday
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places. #badjokefriday
In Jr. High my English teacher looked at my way and said "name 2 pronouns?" I said "who, me?" #badjokefriday
Why are there no knock-knock jokes about freedom? Because freedom rings. #badjokefriday
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you! #badjokefriday
Sermon prep time is hard work. But rewarding.
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband: "You have perfect eyesight." #BadJokeFriday
So Proud Of My Hawks!!!! #HawksWin
I think I held my held my breath the whole last 4 minutes. #ChicagoBlackhawks #GoHawks #NiceToBreathAgain
2 bats are hanging upside down on a branch. 1 asks the other, "what's your worst memory?" The other responds, "The day I had diarrhea!" #BJF
PS143.8Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul
finished #Walking (3.21mi / 2h 2m 3s / ave speed 2.84mph) view (via sportstracklive)
started #Walking watch live (via sportstracklive)
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. #BadJokeFriday
God I know you can heal my Dad, but if you choose not to I will still serve and follow you.
finished #Walking (4.77mi / 2h 34m 53s / ave speed 2.82mph) view…
Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines everywhere! #BadJokeFriday
Wow! What a great game! Double overtime and Chicago comes out with the win. #GoHawks
What do you say to the person that's always correcting your grammar? There, their, they're #badjokefriday
Tell me what is fair or not fair in this life. #fairornot
beat 10 personal bests for #Walking (6.08mi / 1h 52m 8s) view (via sportstracklive)
started #Walking watch live (via sportstracklive)
finished #Walking (0.0m / 38.0s / 2 calories) view (via sportstracklive)
started #Walking watch live (via sportstracklive)
A man drove his expensive car into a tree last night. I guess he now knows how a Mercedes bends. #BadJokeFriday

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