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Mark Felter

Someone stole my mood ring....and I'm just not sure how I feel about that? #badjokefriday
Another night fixing dinner. Parmesan chicken over pasta. With garlic parsley baby potatoes and side salad.
I'm going paperless at home but it's presenting a real problem in the bathroom. #BadJokeFriday
I love fixing dinner for a very special lady
A snake walks into a bar. The bartender says, "How did you do that?" #Badjokefriday
I ate 4 bowls of delicious alphabet soup. After that I had a massive vowel movement. #badjokefriday
Q: Why does Cinderella never win the Olympics? A: She has a pumpkin for a coach and runs away from the ball. #badjokefriday
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "Get out of here!" shouts the bartender. "We don't serve your type." #badjokefriday
What 2 days off the week start with the letter T? Today and Tomorrow. #badjokefriday
A toothless termite walks into a pub and asks: "is the bar tender here?" #badjokefriday
That's a nice way to start the second half of the season! Cubs win!!!
Plane landed 36 minutes early.
Sitting at PDX waiting for my plane.
I took my car to my mechanic for a checkup. He told me that my battery needs a new car. #badjokefriday
Had a great time at Cannon Beach, Oregon
Excited to be going to the beach to get my vitamin sea.
Sometimes I use big words which I do not understand to make me sound more photosynthesis. #badjokefriday
What happened to Watson after Sherlock died? He became Holmeless. #badjokefriday
I just finished hiking 6.02 miles in 2h:56m:47s with #Endomondo #endorphins
I just finished hiking 4.69 miles in 1h:42m:17s with #Endomondo #endorphins
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the "M" is silent. #badjokefriday
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I'm part of the other 3%. #badjokefriday
Rehearsal and setup before church starts. Kessid Church
I was kidnapped by a pack of mimes. They performed unspeakable acts on me. #badjokefriday
Happy to be the 6,454th backer on @BackerKit for BULLET | World's Smallest LED... …
My office password's been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the dog. #badjokefriday
On 8/1/15 I signed up for @Uber_PDX and have taken 7 trips. Cheers to a great year! #UberPDXturns1
beat 9 personal bests for #Walking (2.91mi / 1h 13m 34s) view (via sportstracklive)
started #Walking watch live (via sportstracklive)
Heading to Chicago to see my dad. The last time I went I thought I was saying good bye. So thankful he is still with us!
Check out Ibotta and get cash back! Install using my referral code and you will get an extra $10:
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner for a bit. They're usually around 90 degrees #badjokefriday
Did you hear about the new movie called "constipation"? But it hasn't come out yet. #badjokefriday
On my way to setup for church. If you live in Portland/Vancouver join us at Kessid church.
I attached all my watches make a belt... It was a waist of time. #badjokefriday
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." #badjokefriday
I decided to change calling the bathroom the John & renamed it the Jim. I feel better saying I went to the Jim in the morning #badjokefriday
I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now. #BadJokeFriday
I've entered to win the ultimate #BringIt gear kit for 2 from @JohnnyJet @scottevest and @Gogo You can enter too at:
Q: What's brown and sits on the piano bench? A: Beethoven's last movement.
First rule of Thesaurus Club: You don't talk, converse, discuss, speak, chat, deliberate, confer, gossip, utter.. #badjokefriday
Last night, a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft malleable metal with an atomic number of 82. I'm easily lead. #badjokefriday
Wife on trial for beating her husband w/ his guitar collection. Judge says, 1st offender?' She says, 'No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!'"
beat 11 personal bests for #Walking (3.33mi / 1h 44m 33s) view (via sportstracklive)
started #Walking watch live (via sportstracklive)
Q. What did the rude prism say to the light beam that smacked into him? A. Get bent! #badjokefriday
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