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Mark Felter

99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I'm part of the other 3%. #badjokefriday
Rehearsal and setup before church starts. Kessid Church
I was kidnapped by a pack of mimes. They performed unspeakable acts on me. #badjokefriday
Happy to be the 6,454th backer on @BackerKit for BULLET | World's Smallest LED... …smallest-led-flashlight.backerkit.com/backers/4666586
My office password's been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the dog. #badjokefriday
On 8/1/15 I signed up for @Uber_PDX and have taken 7 trips. Cheers to a great year! #UberPDXturns1
Dad: GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW! Child: *storms off* JIM MORRISON WAS OVERRATED! Dad: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SLAMMING THE DOORS!? #badjokefriday
beat 9 personal bests for #Walking (2.91mi / 1h 13m 34s) view bit.ly/1YAecMA (via sportstracklive)
started #Walking watch live bit.ly/1YA4vxJ (via sportstracklive)
Heading to Chicago to see my dad. The last time I went I thought I was saying good bye. So thankful he is still with us!
Check out Ibotta and get cash back! Install using my referral code and you will get an extra $10: ibotta.com/r/GMAJKEC.
If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner for a bit. They're usually around 90 degrees #badjokefriday
Did you hear about the new movie called "constipation"? But it hasn't come out yet. #badjokefriday
On my way to setup for church. If you live in Portland/Vancouver join us at Kessid church.
I attached all my watches make a belt... It was a waist of time. #badjokefriday
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." #badjokefriday
I decided to change calling the bathroom the John & renamed it the Jim. I feel better saying I went to the Jim in the morning #badjokefriday
I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now. #BadJokeFriday
I've entered to win the ultimate #BringIt gear kit for 2 from @JohnnyJet @scottevest and @Gogo You can enter too at: gvwy.io/hscyp1j
Q: What's brown and sits on the piano bench? A: Beethoven's last movement.
First rule of Thesaurus Club: You don't talk, converse, discuss, speak, chat, deliberate, confer, gossip, utter.. #badjokefriday
Last night, a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft malleable metal with an atomic number of 82. I'm easily lead. #badjokefriday
Wife on trial for beating her husband w/ his guitar collection. Judge says, 1st offender?' She says, 'No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!'"
beat 11 personal bests for #Walking (3.33mi / 1h 44m 33s) view bit.ly/1lj5aWc (via sportstracklive)
started #Walking watch live bit.ly/1nq9RiM (via sportstracklive)
Q. What did the rude prism say to the light beam that smacked into him? A. Get bent! #badjokefriday
The steadfast love of the Lord is not seasonal; His mercies do not have winter or summer days... Thy are new every now!
Last night I dreamt I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted. #badjokefriday
My gnu years resolution is to tell you a gazelleon times how much I caribou you! Sorry. Bad puns. Alpaca bag and leave. #badjokefriday
Use my Uber promo code, markf4134ue, and get $15 off your first Uber ride. Redeem it at uber.com/invite/markf41…
finished #Walking (1.97mi / 46m 59s / ave speed 3.05mph) view bit.ly/1QNYHkl (via sportstracklive)
started #Walking watch live bit.ly/1QNURrj (via sportstracklive)
finished #Walking (1.55mi / 33m 1s / ave speed 3.29mph) view bit.ly/1OduXuH (via sportstracklive)
started #Walking watch live bit.ly/1Odt9ln (via sportstracklive)
What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus. #badjokefriday
A truck load of Vicks VapoRub overturned on the 405 today; Police confirm there will be no congestion for about 8 hours. #badjokefriday
What did the distressed strawberries say to each other? 'How the heck did we get in this jam? #badjokefriday
Well be there at 6pm
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and one is a little lighter #badjokefriday
beat 7 personal bests for #Walking (3.65mi / 1h 8m 47s) view sportstracklive.com/track/detail/r…
First rule of Thesaurus Club: You don't talk, converse, discuss, speak, chat, deliberate, confer, gossip, utter.. #badjokefriday
Use my referral link to get a $5 coupon at Amazon for signing into the Amazon App the first time: amazon.com/mpr?referralco…
What do you get if you if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi #badjokefriday
I'm no better than any1 & by God's grace He has protected me. I am sad 2 hear another pastor make unwise choices. Prayers 4 him & his family
My heart breaks for the hurt, wounded, or those that are no longer with us. Deepest prayers for all that are suffering. #Prayers4Paris
It's $22.70 with the discount
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you. #badjokefriday
Tried to take a picture of the fog, Mist. #badjokefriday
 
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