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Mark Felter

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." #badjokefriday
I decided to change calling the bathroom the John & renamed it the Jim. I feel better saying I went to the Jim in the morning #badjokefriday
I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now. #BadJokeFriday
I've entered to win the ultimate #BringIt gear kit for 2 from @JohnnyJet @scottevest and @Gogo You can enter too at:
Q: What's brown and sits on the piano bench? A: Beethoven's last movement.
First rule of Thesaurus Club: You don't talk, converse, discuss, speak, chat, deliberate, confer, gossip, utter.. #badjokefriday
Last night, a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft malleable metal with an atomic number of 82. I'm easily lead. #badjokefriday
Wife on trial for beating her husband w/ his guitar collection. Judge says, 1st offender?' She says, 'No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!'"
beat 11 personal bests for #Walking (3.33mi / 1h 44m 33s) view (via sportstracklive)
started #Walking watch live (via sportstracklive)
Q. What did the rude prism say to the light beam that smacked into him? A. Get bent! #badjokefriday
The steadfast love of the Lord is not seasonal; His mercies do not have winter or summer days... Thy are new every now!
Last night I dreamt I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted. #badjokefriday
My gnu years resolution is to tell you a gazelleon times how much I caribou you! Sorry. Bad puns. Alpaca bag and leave. #badjokefriday
Use my Uber promo code, markf4134ue, and get $15 off your first Uber ride. Redeem it at…
finished #Walking (1.97mi / 46m 59s / ave speed 3.05mph) view (via sportstracklive)
started #Walking watch live (via sportstracklive)
finished #Walking (1.55mi / 33m 1s / ave speed 3.29mph) view (via sportstracklive)
started #Walking watch live (via sportstracklive)
What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus. #badjokefriday
A truck load of Vicks VapoRub overturned on the 405 today; Police confirm there will be no congestion for about 8 hours. #badjokefriday
What did the distressed strawberries say to each other? 'How the heck did we get in this jam? #badjokefriday
Well be there at 6pm
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and one is a little lighter #badjokefriday
beat 7 personal bests for #Walking (3.65mi / 1h 8m 47s) view…
First rule of Thesaurus Club: You don't talk, converse, discuss, speak, chat, deliberate, confer, gossip, utter.. #badjokefriday
Use my referral link to get a $5 coupon at Amazon for signing into the Amazon App the first time:…
What do you get if you if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi #badjokefriday
I'm no better than any1 & by God's grace He has protected me. I am sad 2 hear another pastor make unwise choices. Prayers 4 him & his family
My heart breaks for the hurt, wounded, or those that are no longer with us. Deepest prayers for all that are suffering. #Prayers4Paris
It's $22.70 with the discount
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you. #badjokefriday
Tried to take a picture of the fog, Mist. #badjokefriday
I went to the bank the other day and asked the banker to check my balance, so she pushed me! #badjokefriday
What's something red and bad for your teeth? A brick. #BadJokeFriday
Thank you for 40 years and letting me celebrate with you from Vancouver WA. #Willow40
My heart is full of emotions as I watch Willow Creeks 40th anniversary service I remember the early days at the theater very well. #willow40
Watching the live streaming of Willow Creeks 40th anniversary service at the United Center. My heart is moved. #willow40
finished #Walking (3.22mi / 1h 23m 59s / ave speed 2.86mph) view (via sportstracklive)
started #Walking watch live (via sportstracklive)
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.. #badjokefriday
"Wait on the Lord" is a constant refrain in the Psalms, and it is a necessary word, for God often keeps us waiting. JI Packer
Retweeted by Mark Felter
I have a heart of lion!!! Also a life time ban from the Portland zoo. #badjokefriday
Go, Cubs, go Go, Cubs, go Hey, Chicago, what do you say The Cubs are gonna win today #Cubs
A gold bar walks into a bar and the barman shouts, "AU get out of here!" #badjokefriday
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it. #BadJokeFriday
The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense. #BadJokeFriday
Check out MightyText - SMS from your computer using your current Android number! @MightyText
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