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Reid Murphy
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I just hurt like balls
I mean.... It didn't go in or anything.
I just accidentally say on a metal pole
I didn't get raped it anything
Uhhhh.... My ass hurts
Your taste in music represents exactly what your mood would sound like if you could hear it.
Retweeted by Reid Murphy
Yeah my car goes 0 to 60 in 30 seconds. No big deal. #badass
#thankyouonedirectionfor making the most annoying songs that are perfect for the most annoying teenagers. Honestly. THANKS
@ashley__neace: mosquito bites suck.” Your mom
Epilepsy aint no joke
@__XOXOashleyy: I'm starving” Ummm... Eat
I think I may be crazy
And now Michael Jackson is playing
So it's time for another visit to the crazy doctor
If I ever have a brat little cousin and his parents sleep in my room without my permission.... They will die.
People who bad mouth metal go right ahead. You have no clue how remarkable the musicianship is. #metal #headbanging #brutal #dontknowshit
I'll just stick my balls in it when you're asleep
Ok fine. Yell at me for putting my hand in the ice thing. That's cool
Let me get some fucking ice
The smell of freshly cut grass is actually the scent that plants release when they're in distress.
Retweeted by Reid Murphy
@briannazeyhnn: Oh my god.” Oh your god what?0_o
Retweeted by Reid Murphy
This is not a question of how you will prevail, it's a question of what will you say when you're burning in hell?! #WhiteChapel
Retweeted by Reid Murphy
If a penis did that it would end up paper thin and 3 feet wide.
But vaginas can pass something 15 times their size through them and retain their shape. Wtf
If you barely tap balls the hurt like SHIT
Vaginas are like the toughest thing in existence. Balls are pussies.
Why do people call wimps pussies? They should call them balls
@__XOXOashleyy: Hannah Montana time” Wait you mean this thing?
If I EVER walk into my daughter and a guy.... Someone isn't leaving that house alive
Retweeted by Reid Murphy
@PoindextersLab: @ReidMurphy13 lol I can accept that” you know? "I wish it would rain"?
@ryleelife: LOSING 15 POUND BC CHUBBY WOOHOO” If you're chubby then I'm fucking Buddha.
IKEA stores are designed like mazes in order to make it more difficult for customers to leave.
Retweeted by Reid Murphy
Seriously. Those aren't for chewing on
This dog has it out for my balls