Please upgrade your browser to make full use of twiends.   chrome   firefox   ie   safari  
Paula Poundstone
comedian author 91,282 followers
"@rebecca_clack Pretty sure we need some @paulapoundstone back in Fairbanks as soon as possible. #FairbanksJuneRecordRainFlooding" Love 2
Th last time I was at The Birchmere in Alexandria, VA, they gave me a guitar shaped spatula. That's the kind of relationship we have.
On Fri. and Sat. Nov 21& 22 I'll be telling my little jokes at The Birchmere In Alexandria, VA. I love that place paulapoundstone.com
#WorldCup2014 The Belgian team is bringing Hercule Poirot off the bench.
#WorldCup2014 Every one of these guys can get Viagra from their employer's insurance.
#WorldCup2014 There are no losers in a game like this, except the team that doesn't get as many points as the other.
#WorldCup2014 They just showed a Belgian guy throwing up. That'll put you off your chocolate.
#WorldCup2014 The U.S. goalie is like a really good looking diaphragm.
#WorldCup2014 These guys have the answers to the concussion test questions written on their hands.
#WorldCup2014 These guys are gonna be sore tomorrow.
#WorldCup2014 At our J.V. Girl's lacrosse team meeting in 1973, our goalie cried, because she said people kept throwing balls at her.
#WorldCup2014 I'm gonna advertise paulapoundstone.com at World Cup 2018, right beside the Coca-Cola sign. I'm saving up.
#WorldCup2014 Why not shoulder the ball? Isn't the brain in the head?
#WorldCup2014 I notice they don't all run, in a pack, around the ball, like my Christian group team in 1972.
#WorldCup2014 There's something about them not scoring that makes me feel like I can't pee.
#WorldCup2014 I know nothing about this game, but I think one of the teams should put the ball in that netted thing at the end of the field
#WorldCup2014 There's a Belgian player named Dries. His brother Wets didn't make the team.
#WorldCup2014 Does Ryan Seacrest play for Belgium?
I'm watching on a Spanish station. A commentator just said "Ryan Seacrest," but I don't know why #WorldCup2014
They're offering to take the injured guy sledding. That'll cheer him up. #WorldCup2014
Prince Harry is playing for the red guys #WorldCup2014
We'd be winning this game if those guys in the red didn't keep getting in the way #WorldCup2014
Wait, Wait at Red Rocks in Colorado July 10. Hear the silence of my lightening round echo ticketswest.com/waitwait @TomBodett @brianbabylon
It be me at the Bijou in Knoxville, TN on Sat. July 26. Let us be together knoxbijou.com/shows/632115