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Para-illuminati
Him: What's your fantasy, baby Me: Me, you and my cat wearing matching sweatersWHERE ARE YOU GOING I HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD YOU ABOUT THE NACHOS
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Strange that I have the energy to read your tweets but not brush my hair.
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This isn't a good sign. •I'm sure it's going to be OK. No, this is bad. •Yeah, you're right as usual. - Realist Brain vs. Optimist Brain.
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#RIPRobinWilliams Depression is real so if you suffer from depression please talk to someone about it. pic.twitter.com/P5kYrptKYe
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"Welcome, teachers & parents, to our community school assembly" *gestures to 237 IKEA boxes* "Let's begin! Who's got the Allen wrench?"
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I exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. Jehovah's Fitness.
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I came here to kick ass and chew bubble gum. I brought a Doublemint Plen-T-Pack so the ass-kicking may have to wait.
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Everyone's worried about their browser history when they die. Call me old fashioned but I'm pretty concerned about my nightstand drawer.
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Pres. Obama on #RobinWilliams: "He gave his immeasurable talent freely and generously to those who needed it most" thr.cm/8xrMK4
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Look! A muffin that looks like a dog... Oh hang about, maybe it's a dog that looks like a muffin... pic.twitter.com/kCF4huZIok
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Last night in Spain :-( been here 4 weeks cant moan, but the Uk is windy and not much to do. pic.twitter.com/3F4vIng86I
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