Hannibal Lecter: "Shhhhhh!"
Hannibal Lecter: "Shhhh…"
Hannibal Lecter: "Much better."
When you give up on your day job long ago and now just daring your boss to fire you
ATM room is equipped with 3 ACs and the machine is asking me not to print receipts to save environment. #NecessaryHypocrisies
sir, look at this 😂😂EoS
// The one who wants to lead the crowd must turn their back to the crowd
Rakshabandhan always reminds me of that ad by Surf Excel where the brother beats the a puddle of dirty water after his sister falls in it.
Text on bag reads as: "This text has no other purpose than to terrify those who are afraid of the Arabic language."
When you want to stab everyone around you
An empty vessel makes the most sound
Simple. If you don't like a joke, turn a blind eye to it.
Like you do to poverty, patriarchy, child labour, racism and sexism.
Mum: if your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too?
Would you marry outside your race?
Depends - is this during the 100 m race or the 10km marathon? More time during the latter, methinks.
When you are trying to concentrate, but guys in the back sing 'Keh do na Keh do na, You are my Sonia'.
// Everything that's broke, leave it to the breeze
This delusion in our heads
When you hold a grudge, you want someone else's sorrow to reflect your level of hurt, but the two rarely ever meet
imagine waiting nine months to give birth and it's you
Instagram stole stories from Snapchat.
Facebook stole trends from Twitter.
Twitter stole filters from Snapchat.
Proof, the World is round.
I don't know what emotion to feel
*Couple posts update of expecting a kid*
[FB Friend]: Bhai akele akele
People who have/had 100% attendance in school/college, kindly tell us what troubled you at home so much?
Judas: still on for Friday?
Judas: yeah, the last supper
Jesus: the what?
Judas: supper. Normal supper with the fellas
There's this new Pokemon called Salman Khan nobody can catch.
2015: "Salman Khan wasn't drunk"
2016: "Bhai didn't kill the blackbuck"
2017: "Actually the blackbuck was driving Salman's car that night"
What's it called when you're tired af but still can't sleep?
Do you ever see someone really attractive and just reject yourself.
Achievement of the day: I scared a lizard out of my room
A sign language interpreter at a Trump rally just wildly swinging around both middle fingers in all directions as he speaks.
play with her boobs not her feelings
Pair 2 Win Mi phones and cash coupons! mi.com/in/events/2nda…
Therapist: So, how's your latest relationship?
Praying Mantis: *sobbing* I ate this one too!
Therapist: And how does that make you feel?
i used to miss you, but you're not the same
I dropped my incense and yet no Pokemon spawned up 😑
30 minutes wasted for nothing@CatchEmAlI
Need : A sensory deprivation chamber at home
I bet clapping was invented by the first guy nobody wanted to hi 5.
*down on one knee, holding up ring box*
Babe I want to ask you to be
*opens box, there's a lil skull in it*
or not to be that is my question
Round and round we go about in this mess
This deserves endless RTs #ForTheKids
Pokemon Go has made me realize that I don't even have the skill to throw the pokeball in a straight line
Pokemon Go is already more popular than Tinder, another app where you swipe to find monsters in your area.
All I want to do before dying is to slap the door in someone's face and say "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn"
take her pokemon hunting on the first date
Just got to know that Pokemon Go has higher average user time than Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram & WhatsApp. What a time to be alive!
Sometimes, you hide things from people you love to save 'em from being hurt. So it's okay to not tell your siblings who ate their ice cream.
Boss: "So why do you want to work for us?"
-"There's a Mewtwo here"
Boss: *hyperventilating* "Where?"
I'm crying 😂�ap
Ronaldo roaming around shirtless.
This win just got better :3