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Miss Regina Phelange
Pokemon is back. Acche din aa gaye. Thanks, modi uncle. Pika pika!
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Real love happened in the 90s when you sneaked out from your room to talk to her on the landline. This whatsapp has killed everything.
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Year 2027: "What college?" "IIT Lajpat Nagar" "Oh okay sweet! Me too. IIT Malviya Nagar."
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It's so stupid that Twitter's symbol for 'Search' is a frying pan.
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im a cat and i FREaking love turning potential energy into kinetic *pushes glass off table* your going to feed and keep me for some reason
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*genie appears* I wish I was rich! GRANTED! YOU USED TO BE RICH ok!—wait what? FOR YOUR SECOND WISH, CONSIDER HAVING PAID ATTENTION IN CLASS
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If you're not sure you're with the right person, blast Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody. If they don't sing or head bang, just cease all contact.
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Give a man a fish he eats for a day, push a man in a shark tank, he's never hungry again.
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A 'Delete All' button, but for feelings.
If there is a wrong place and a wrong time, I'll be there.
I was having a wonderful day but then itunes shuffled to 'Clannad soundtrack' and now i'm so sad. Nostalgia hit me. *sulks in a corner*
Tattoos are a nice way to forever honor loved ones, like family members who have passed away, or skulls with bat wings that have passed away
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For those who don’t know, here’s how the super moon happens: pic.twitter.com/CkHbqVF6Jr
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"Alia is Robert De Niro of our generation" - Varun Dhawan Varun Dhawan is Alia Bhatt of our generation.
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Me: I cleaned all the dishes Mom: aren't you going to put them away too? Me: you have to upgrade from the trial version to the full version.
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Wrong does not become right just because everyone is doing it.
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*buys book to improve memory* "This book is gonna change my life!" *loses book*
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It's not a Twitter addiction until you find yourself asking questions to an imaginary person named bro.
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According to WebMD, I'm Sick & Tired of people.
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If people got notifications about screenshotted texts we would all be screwed
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I'm not saying women are smarter than men, but its kinda ironic that there's so few known women serial killers and so many unsolved murders.
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Slugs are attracted to the scent of beer so much that if you leave a cup of beer out, they will crawl in it and drown.
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I agree with the Health Minister. We don't need to learn about sex in schools, watching it on phones in parliament is so much better.
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I'm getting a strong feeling they'll also introduce zombie Catelyn Stark in the last GOT episode
#Quizup is ridiculously addictive.
We can neither confirm nor deny that this is our first tweet.
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BuzzFeed: "15 Things only Noseless People Will Understand" *Lord Voldemort, Skeletor, Nute Gunray and Surpanakha like this*
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Tetris is 30 years old today! 30 years, and I'm still waiting for an L piece that faces the other way.
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*makes a wish on a blinking satellite*
There must definitely be a cat who taught spider-man to climb buildings
The day you realise you're fucked up & so is everyone else is the day you can truly be happy.
My phone's display is brighter than my future.
Breaking: Rahul Gandhi found positive in 'dope test', doctors confirm an over-dose of Bournvita.
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This little piggy went to the market This little piggy stayed home This little piggy spread a swine flu virus And killed 250 million people
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why do they always say "fight fire with fire" in the movies and stuff? basic pokémon training renders that pretty ineffective
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Security questions: What was your 1st pet's greatest regret? Does your favorite tv show care about you? In what city did you lose your soul?
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MAMA Be quiet Freddie JUST KILLED A MAN As your lawyer I- PUT A GUN AGAINST HIS HEAD Just- PULLED THE TRIGGER- We plead guilty, Your Honor
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It makes me really sad to notice that there isn't a single photoshopped pic of Modi sitting on the iron throne yet.
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I'm so skinny that mosquitoes come to me at night and say "yeh le bhai, tu rakh le ye khoon, padosi se chura ke laya hoon."
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Arvind Kejriwal must be feeling like that guy who left his AIEEE seat and prepared for JEE and then got to know that he failed in it.
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The last person who asked me "what's wrong with you" is still receiving weekly updates by mail.
Can't sleep at night. Can't get up in morning.
There's also a Congress wave. India is waving them goodbye.
Hi we're a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can't ever find our dog.
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Life is a gift. You never get the one you wanted.
Butterflies are just over-dressed,attention-seeking moths.
When relatives ask you about your marks, ask them about their salary.
*me when I turned 18* Parents : Do this Me : Dobby has no master!Dobby is a free elf !