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Shweta Das

Lambs: "BAAAAAAAAA!!!" Hannibal Lecter: "Shhhhhh!" Lambs: "Baaaa!" Hannibal Lecter: "Shhhh…" Lambs: "…" Hannibal Lecter: "Much better."
Retweeted by Shweta Das
When you give up on your day job long ago and now just daring your boss to fire you
Retweeted by Shweta Das
ATM room is equipped with 3 ACs and the machine is asking me not to print receipts to save environment. #NecessaryHypocrisies
Retweeted by Shweta Das
// The one who wants to lead the crowd must turn their back to the crowd
Rakshabandhan always reminds me of that ad by Surf Excel where the brother beats the a puddle of dirty water after his sister falls in it.
Retweeted by Shweta Das
Text on bag reads as: "This text has no other purpose than to terrify those who are afraid of the Arabic language."
Retweeted by Shweta Das
When you want to stab everyone around you
An empty vessel makes the most sound
Simple. If you don't like a joke, turn a blind eye to it. Like you do to poverty, patriarchy, child labour, racism and sexism.
Retweeted by Shweta Das
Mum: if your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too? Me:
Retweeted by Shweta Das
Would you marry outside your race? Depends - is this during the 100 m race or the 10km marathon? More time during the latter, methinks.
Retweeted by Shweta Das
When you are trying to concentrate, but guys in the back sing 'Keh do na Keh do na, You are my Sonia'.
Retweeted by Shweta Das
// Everything that's broke, leave it to the breeze
This delusion in our heads
When you hold a grudge, you want someone else's sorrow to reflect your level of hurt, but the two rarely ever meet
@AlexDalton123 imagine waiting nine months to give birth and it's you
Retweeted by Shweta Das
Instagram stole stories from Snapchat. Facebook stole trends from Twitter. Twitter stole filters from Snapchat. Proof, the World is round.
Retweeted by Shweta Das
I don't know what emotion to feel
crave crave crave
*Couple posts update of expecting a kid* [FB Friend]: Bhai akele akele
Retweeted by Shweta Das
People who have/had 100% attendance in school/college, kindly tell us what troubled you at home so much?
Retweeted by Shweta Das
Judas: still on for Friday? Jesus: Friday? Judas: yeah, the last supper Jesus: the what? Judas: supper. Normal supper with the fellas
Retweeted by Shweta Das
There's this new Pokemon called Salman Khan nobody can catch.
Retweeted by Shweta Das
2015: "Salman Khan wasn't drunk" 2016: "Bhai didn't kill the blackbuck" 2017: "Actually the blackbuck was driving Salman's car that night"
Retweeted by Shweta Das
What's it called when you're tired af but still can't sleep?
Do you ever see someone really attractive and just reject yourself.
Retweeted by Shweta Das
Achievement of the day: I scared a lizard out of my room #CollegeDays
A sign language interpreter at a Trump rally just wildly swinging around both middle fingers in all directions as he speaks.
Retweeted by Shweta Das
play with her boobs not her feelings
Retweeted by Shweta Das
Pair 2 Win Mi phones and cash coupons! mi.com/in/events/2nda…
Therapist: So, how's your latest relationship? Praying Mantis: *sobbing* I ate this one too! Therapist: And how does that make you feel?
Retweeted by Shweta Das
i used to miss you, but you're not the same
Retweeted by Shweta Das
I dropped my incense and yet no Pokemon spawned up 😑 30 minutes wasted for nothing@CatchEmAlII
Need : A sensory deprivation chamber at home
I bet clapping was invented by the first guy nobody wanted to hi 5.
Retweeted by Shweta Das
*down on one knee, holding up ring box* Babe I want to ask you to be *opens box, there's a lil skull in it* or not to be that is my question
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Round and round we go about in this mess
Pokemon Go has made me realize that I don't even have the skill to throw the pokeball in a straight line
Pokemon Go is already more popular than Tinder, another app where you swipe to find monsters in your area.
Retweeted by Shweta Das
All I want to do before dying is to slap the door in someone's face and say "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn"
take her pokemon hunting on the first date
Retweeted by Shweta Das
Just got to know that Pokemon Go has higher average user time than Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram & WhatsApp. What a time to be alive!
Retweeted by Shweta Das
Sometimes, you hide things from people you love to save 'em from being hurt. So it's okay to not tell your siblings who ate their ice cream.
Retweeted by Shweta Das
Boss: "So why do you want to work for us?" -"There's a Mewtwo here" Boss: *hyperventilating* "Where?"
Retweeted by Shweta Das
Ronaldo roaming around shirtless. This win just got better :3
 
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