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Here's where I am right about now ift.tt/1EUp4L9
Troy and Abed shooting lavaaaaaaaaa! #CommunityMarathon
My life is going pretty well considering all the chain mail I never sent to 10 people.
A group of mistakes is called a life.
It feels like I am thinking too much about what I should do next to improve my path through life, instead of doing it.
My physics professor doesn't agree that time is a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff. #DoctorWho
You don't have to be a ninja turtle to eat pizza and practice kung fu in the sewer
I just reserved my OnePlus 2 invite! Sign up for yours today. oneplus.net/invites?kolid=…
Someone to hug your fears away.
I'm at that point where i don't even procrastinate anymore. I literally just don't do the thing.
Ed sheeran songs either make you want to cry or fall in love. There is NO in between.
Love is blindness - Jack white
" I'm not like that." - people who are like that
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
my internet goes out more than i do :3
Every 43 seconds someone attempts suicide. The Suicide hotline: 1-800-784-2433. Retweet & save a life.
Marrying your best-friend eliminates the risk of divorce by 75%.
When a person dies,they have 7 minutes of brain activity left. It's the mind playing back the persons memories in a dream sequence.
Chris Martin performs in Delhi
Universe, why you do this to me?!
*goes to a corner* *cries*
Plot twist: Things turn out exactly as you expected
'do you like kids?'
never tried one but they sound delicious
'no i meant-'
where did you see those on here?
ABCDE - AnyBody Can Do Engineering
nothing would make me angrier than someone reading my diary. Now I put all online and flip when people don't like my crap
"An emotion comes, stays for a while, and goes away, just like a storm. If you’re aware of that, you won’t be afraid.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
“I want to meet people with fire in them, burning through life like a forest fire, too many people die out and survive on embers.”
*Bang A Whore*
They should make fun, adult-sized, adult-only playgrounds. More people would get exercise that way.
*dog pokes me with nose*
*stop, it's late*
(Dog looks at me with sad eyes)
[sets up poker table for him and his friends]
The 8th rule of Fight Club is that the 1st Tuesday of every month is TICKLE FIGHT NIGHT! Woot woot!
Cop: You were going 88mph
Me: I'm trying to time travel like Back to the Future
Cop: That movie was before my time
BRUCE WAYNE: How can I rid this city of crime
ALFRED: Mental health care access, economic development, gun reg—
BRUCE: Bring me a cape
*ah only 350/- for a medium pizza wohoo*
Service tax: 14%
Road tax: 25%
Eating tax: 32%
Sir your total amount is 1700
[indians had stopped eating maggi, beef, eggs, pork, food]
[evolved back into plants]
[deforestation isn't a concern anymore]
If I was Nestle, I would take full-pag ads saying: "We are sure Maggi is safe. But while we wait for justice, have a break, have a KitKat"
Today I found the guy from "Up" managing a petrol station near Red Fort. True story.
He: We Won?
Me: No Son.
He: Why Papa?
Me: Wat Son!
Trying to get rid of a fly by telling it to bugger off
Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows (2011) A bunch of adults trash a high school bc a noseless man thinks a child is better than him at magic
Why are people who have a doctorate called Doctors, but people who have a masters are not called Masters?
If by theory of relativity you mean "drunk time moves twice as fast as sober time" then yes I totally understand the theory of relativity...
Sorry can't ROFL because Mom ne abhi Pocha lagaya hai..
Uncle: bete change do
Kid: nahi hai
Uncle: bhaag yahan se
*brings the change
Why do people call from blocked numbers thinking someone's gonna answer? I don't even answer when I know whose calling.
It’s called being condescending maybe you’ve heard of it :P
What's my type? Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I'm describing my bed again.
As you get older, it becomes more and more unacceptable to cry and scream in public, despite the reasons for it becoming more & more valid.
That awkward moment when your mom stores your dad's cellphone numbers as 'husband 1' 'husband 2'