Grow Your Twitter Audience - Free!

Old Spice

comedy 220,792 followers
Share this page  
Congratulations to Old Spice spokesman @BUrlacher54 on retiring from that other job you had. bit.ly/OSUrlach
It's on the Internet so it has to be true. I think. Maybe. Whatever. bit.ly/beardOS
You know one thing $600 million can't buy? Friendship. Just kidding we'll definitely be your friend if you win. You're the best!
New Old Spice shave gel is newer than both Ladies AND Lasers. bit.ly/beardOS
A brand-new video for a brand-new shaving gel product to give you a brand new sense of a brand-new you. bit.ly/OSBaby
Scientific Internet Proof that alien technology isn't as advanced as new Old Spice shave gel: ….aintnewerthannewoldspiceshavegel.com
Recent discoveries re: dragons prove that new Old Spice shave gel is newer than them. bit.ly/OSdrgns
Have you ever wished Old Spice made a shaving gel for unwanted hairs? Wish granted. bit.ly/beardOS
You each get one guess as to who this is. Clue: He's coming to the internet soon. vine.co/v/b0EXxFn5eKU
Sometimes I think about the constantly expanding nature of the universe and about the blah blah blah churros. pic.twitter.com/v7hG6s3WiV
Like all good things and Bigfoots, our new smellable banner ads are rare and limited edition. Click here to get one. bit.ly/scrtchns
We made the world's first smellable banner ad. Click it. Receive it. Smell it a billion times. bit.ly/scrtchns
Click here to be the first person in human history to smell the internet. bit.ly/scrtchns
Click to get the world's 1st smellable banner ad and be part of the Internet Smells Museum when it starts to exist. bit.ly/scrtchns
Never hire an owl with spectacles as your accountant. They seem wise, but can’t speak Human or operate calculators. pic.twitter.com/gElI0KdLtG
Without skin you’d constantly be chased by angry mobs with pitchforks. Thank your skin with new Old Spice bar soap. bit.ly/Water15
The smellevator to success is out of order, you must take the shower. Succeed at showering, with our new bar soap. bit.ly/soap30
We make bar soap now. It's like our liquid soap, but hardened and pressed into a bar. Congrats! You’re welcome. bitly.com/soap30
If there was ever a time to cash in all your college savings and fill your garage with bar soap, that time is now. bit.ly/Water15
Two wrongs don’t make a bar of soap. We do. New Old Spice bar soap. It’s something we make now. bit.ly/soap30
Today I'm sailing my yacht made out of meat. April Fools! You can't sail meat yachts. I know because I'm underwater. pic.twitter.com/ObnR6v1Nmk
Don't understand why people still need CDs when Old Spice is music to the nostrils.
Never bring a knife to a gunfight, unless you think there will be steak served there. In which case you should bring a favorite steak knife.
Time-saving tip: instead of having a bunch of little thoughts throughout the day, just think everything at once.
The three most important things in real estate: location, location, moat circumference.
We are sorry to lose Mr. Wolfdog, but he's back in his natural habitat in a wonderful tree. We look forward to marketing to you again soon.
If you're reading this automated tweet and soon watching this video, something bad has happened to me, Mr. Wolfdog. bit.ly/140pIbm
No matter what the media thing says, I'll always love you. And want for you to buy Old Spice.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no. Something bad has happened.
Going to my 9000th meeting of the day about skyrocketing sales. Business can be a tough business. Going to Power Nap ASAPMP..A..1?
Good morning world. I like all humans, prefer my hot black water in a cup with cream, sugar, and business success.
Today was a lot like me—a beast, who is covered in fur and sometimes smelly. I'm tired. Goodnight.
Tired of your phone ringing and people around you not knowing that you're important? Surprise! I made ringtones. bit.ly/ZDuAMB
Like all good media moguls I've made a BUSINESS ALBUM for work and success. Download it to inspire yourself. mrwolfdog.bandcamp.com
I'm taking your questions live on a YouTube: youtube.com/watch?v=FV9MpF… Ask me things - #questionforwolfdog
My Business Roundtable for Business starts here in 15 minutes: youtube.com/watch?v=FV9MpF… Tweet me your questions - #questionforwolfdog
I've created a Pinterest account because apparently that's interesting and people are on it and sales. pinterest.com/mrwolfdog
"Feelings" and an exposed jugular are humanity's greatest weaknesses. Learn to criticize humans safely in this video. bit.ly/Z1U8C3
I'm having a no-holds-barred business roundtable in Google Hangouts today. Tweet me your questions now, use #questionforwolfdog
To be effective in marketing, you should make these banner ads. mrwolfdog.com
Need to look busy in front of bosses and coworkers? Call this number and repeat what you hear aloud, for guaranteed success! 1-866-695-2407
My interns wrote a bad, unforgivable commercial. I salvaged roughly 7 words like helicopter and hotdog and made THIS. bit.ly/16tlI2G
Hey entire internet! I did all of your homework! Buy top quality Old Spice goods. Thanks humans! vine.co/v/bdeqmueivve
My assistants @_jwong @ayeSILAS and sandwich wrote me a TV script. Result? Horrible. Luckily I'm a genius an... vine.co/v/bdeWaDTvYYv
.@RyanMullz If thinking about modular code makes you unbearably hungry, you might be a Wolfdog. pic.twitter.com/19r2wayJNj
.@eliklatt the cause of the cold war was a pepperoni shortage and people not spending all their money on Old Spice. pic.twitter.com/kzaabUamPP
.@jshuknecht This one was easy. I never forget a meaty face. pic.twitter.com/mdPgLpP6UK
.@buffalobaldwin Hope no more. I did your curve math problem. Now obey me & go buy Old Spice for my sales numbers! pic.twitter.com/Bxz5M8AhQn
.@Seth_Ras I've answered your question now give me your money for my products or get in my mouth. pic.twitter.com/B8xUEv7ssN
.@SimmiSimms Some call it a wolfdog doing people's homework for them. I call it subliminal advertising internet day. pic.twitter.com/UE0weCzHbl