Build two and we can finally hold the Old Spice Water Slide Sprints. usat.ly/1fVMrZw
How much ground could a groundchuck chuck if a groundchuck could chuck ground? instagram.com/p/g53oQHNNXj/
Autumn! Well known as one of the four best seasons for purchasing deodorant.
Building trust requires time and patience. Building a fort only requires a sofa and the power of imagination.
They say if you’re not cheating you’re not trying. But they probably aren’t trying to stay married.
Thanks for the tip, @Globies
! We scream "GET A JOB!" into each stick of Old Spice to make sure they stay motivated. #littleknownfacts
Actions speak louder than words. So remember to scream loudly while doing things.
This bear sounds like a real wimp. bit.ly/1aPy4EN
Remember that deep down you’re just a skeleton, and skeletons are totally badass.
There's nothing more awkward than going to a party and someone else is wearing the same costume. #WednesdaysWithWes pic.twitter.com/mUTijWzU2I
Careful! Dad’s five-alarm chili might actually be a cry for help.
Start me this week. I have a feeling I could be on target for another one of my legendary million fantasy point games. #WednesdaysWithWes
See our new, uplifting print ad where Wes Welker freezes everyone he ever knew and then is alone forever. pic.twitter.com/Qvw1pygcVJ
A better question is, why aren’t the chicken wings included inside the bottle of hot sauce so we don’t have to do so much work?
League leader in touchdown receptions, armpit freshness and antelope herding. Who wants to play king of the Matterhorn?#wednesdayswithwes
If tweets were like footballs, they’d be made of pig leather. It would be costly and unfeasible. bit.ly/OSLiz
Winners never quit and quitters never win. They make interpretive dance videos set to trendy music #wednesdayswithwes pic.twitter.com/e6RZL1QM8e
Life is about overcoming challenges, like life before Old Spice made Fiji body spray and farmers made seedless watermelon #WednesdaysWithWes
Glasses are called glasses because they are made of glass, much like horses are made of horse. #words
Football is the greatest hot sauce–covered chicken wing vehicle ever invented, and that’s including my RV made out of chicken wings.
It would be cool to read a story by the first person to ever see the sun go down. That must have been nuts.
Here's more @WesWelker
, hashtags, and freshness on the web. Today's #WednesdaysWithWes
: He tackles fantasy football. instagram.com/p/es2CvPNNav/
Unlike its name suggests, a football is not made out of feet, nor is it a ball. bit.ly/OSAbsent
See the graphic novelization of the real life event that actually happened to Jerod Mayo when he smelled too fresh. pic.twitter.com/SPV1awcTI5
Always be yourself, as long as you are a rich professional football player. Otherwise use Old Spice. bit.ly/OSLiz
What's better: a couch with a great view or a toilet with a great view? #architectthoughts
Always look both ways before you cross the street, and down if you know you’re near a cliff.
Winning isn’t everything, said the sad, girlfriendless sports loser as he shuffled off the field and smelled bad. bit.ly/OSCoach
Wes Welker's first touchdown of the season reminds us of the importance of scoring touchdowns not just… instagram.com/p/d51HcitNZW/
Get ready for the freshest NFL-themed Old Spice commercial your eyes have ever smelled. bit.ly/OSSnoGlo
If a picture is worth a thousand words, you'd never think you'd be able to afford a video. But here's one for free! instagram.com/p/d2WFpZNNfW/
At the start of every great tweet are the words ‘at the start of every great tweet are the words.’
One of the best ways to avoid being taken by surprise is to think of the last thing you’d expect, and then expect it.
Knowledge is power. Knowing how to use a power saw is power tool knowledge power.
If you’re the worst at something, wash with great-smelling Old Spice bar soap, then quit that thing forever.
Can we all agree that building a house out of lobster shells and hamburger buns is not easy or necessarily even a good idea?
A man is defined by his character, his valor and his dictionary.
In terms of the world's most important inventions, this ranks somewhere between penicillin and nachos: bit.ly/1536aCE
If you ever find yourself in the Bermuda Triangle, try not to panic. Triangles can sense panic.
If nature had intended man to take baths, she wouldn't have invented sharks and flesh eating river bacteria. Shower up with Old Spice.
Summertime is our favorite time of year besides Taco Tuesday, which is on Tuesdays.
Now that #sharkweek
is over, it’s time we devote a week to something much more terrifying: pic.twitter.com/FO4kGtG108
Love is blind. Don’t end up like love. Always wear your safety goggles.
Luckily the Internet was invented so that we can get in touch with all of you wonderful people and tell you to buy Old Spice.
Fun fact: “Olfactory” is short for Old Spice Factory, which is abbreviated for scientific/Twitter purposes.
The summer sun is a warm reminder that there are infinite astral bodies in the cosmos and they all want to give us crippling sunburn.
August is the only month where each day is a different person’s birthday. Happy birthday to those 31 special people.
The key to good BBQ is not the meat or the marinade; it’s just how delicious that meat or marinade is that’s key.
With these advances in science, the question isn't “Can we?” or “Should we?” It is “Komodo Dragon or Hammerhead?" bit.ly/133sSqs