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Vernon Kay

djs 1,091,153 followers
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I was taking the motorway out of London. A policeman pulled me over and said: 'Put it back.'
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought "he's trying to pull a fast one".
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Saw a lady in C.Laboutains walk across a golf green today.She had no idea.Not one guy got p***** off.Hilarious.
#HOUSE | @DJSpoony is LIVE from the world famous Box at @ministryofsound till 9 with some luscious midweek house > pic.twitter.com/RC4ZiFxG6x
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"@bdnixon6: @OfficialVernonK where would you play @TimTebow if you we're Bill? TE, RB, QB?! #tebowtime"....In the Jaguars squad!
"@luke_kitch1: @OfficialVernonK like Timmy has a shot with Gisselle!<<When your wing man is the Lord anything is possible!
Don't worry Tom, Tim loves GOD, not supermodels!
SportsCenter - Tim Tebow will sign with Patriots, expected to participate in minicamp Tuesday, league sources told ESPN's Ed Werder
"@CalvinHarris: Fingers instagram.com/p/aXoOXZN3CY/"..<Love the ejector seat button on the right!
Got THE most bizarre tan lines today.
@Mr_Dave_Haslam: Boys wearin baseball caps backwards, girls showin bum cheeks. Parklife festival fashion.” Please don't do both Dave!
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Ah,the sweet sound of Summer: shit cars being driven at light speed by utter bellends.
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"@ugomonye: @OfficialVernonK geoff ;) couldn't resist!"..<Stopit!
Jeff Parling should be in everyone's top 5 sportsmen.Understated, gets the job done.
PARKLIFE FEST!!!! Ok - I'm on 7-8pm @MetropolisUK tent!!!! I'm gonna smash you up, ok?!!!!!
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Holy crap...Im now being spammed by French Time share villas!!
Hey @OfficialVernonK not doing anything this weekend, any chance of a RT? (well everyone else tries)
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@OfficialVernonK. Getting married tomorrow to the gorgeous @angmcc77 , any chance of a good luck rt
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The awkward moment when a laser hits your head & you become a green lantern unicorn #NightclubFAILS pic.twitter.com/p7QhQwaiSL
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The embarrassment feels like 'The Fear'! Shows will air from end of June. Still, thanks to ALL @ #FamilyFortunes & @OfficialVernonK #LEGEND
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This is my Tenth Series of F.Fortunes.And its now more fun than ever before....Loveit.
Recording F.Fortunes this week but @Parklifefest in the sun sounds like its gonna be immense. #Handsintheair
.....wonder if @nflcommish will invest in the uk game seeing as they want to develop the nfl here!!? Time to build a legacy Roger.
Sun ☀ sun ☀ sun ☀ sun ☀ sun ☀
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Wow...3 regular season nfl games next yr.#progress :-)
@OfficialVernonK @peterkay_co_uk 11 local independent #bolton business owners makin a statement. Worth comment & RT? pic.twitter.com/EY79vtpS92
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"@fleetstreetfox: Right then. Today I am writing for @DailyMirror about Victoria Beckham and the title 'woman of the decade'<Its only 2013!?
Been reading ! Loving it ! “@OfficialVernonK: Getting fab reviews. Bravo...:-) pic.twitter.com/RFMueuKFk6
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"@keithph: @OfficialVernonK watching the ZoneGolf CharityShoot Out!Brilliant on course commentary#goodbanter"..<I got a little over excited.
@OfficialVernonK Vernon, I'm cycling SOLO 3500miles across USA &need help spreading the word about my charity website justdoitforcharity.com
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Been on 2 repeats tonight....
Great day in the sun...Stacks of cash given to charity and the golf from Paul McGinley was Superb.Great laugh...#zoneGolf
"@LukeDonald: @OfficialVernonK epic thin from Redknapp!!"...Hilarious! !!!
17 minutes and counting until @OfficialVernonK & @CharLouJackson launch #ZoneGolfCharityShootOut on Sky Sports 2 at 8pm!! Tune in & enjoy!!!
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SkySports2.Zone golf.8pm.Great event.Good banter and wait till you see Jamie Redknapp under pressure! ! #squeekybumtime
Marbella to be seen.....Ibiza to escape! #telebanco
@AthIetePorn: Alabama's new $9 million dollar weight room. #Heaven #AthletePorn pic.twitter.com/F6Ub7q7vp0” I'm in love 😍
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Hope Gardner is ok..
Head cam would never work in football..too much Effing and Jeffing!!Its great hearing the ref and players "chat".
Head cam is superb on the rugby league. Closer to the action.