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Mohammed Nouf™
One pizza roll led to an avalanche!
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
Valentine day is for singles they can live freely with no problems
Can't wait to see u never
Do you believe in tweet at first sight, or should I tweet this again?
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
Today is gonna be a great day!!! ...or not. ~inspiration
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
Freedom comes when you learn to let go.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
Losing something is a great way to figure out what the fuck you don't want to have again.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
I feel like dinner parties are secretly competitions about who watches the most news and documentaries
"I'm a good person, obviously." --everyone
are u nervous? do u hav nerves? dont wory. just take a deepbreath. BUT NOT TOO DEEP!!! dont want ur lungs to pop. dont want that to hapen
I DON’T UNDERSTAND IT! WHY THE F*CK WOULD SOMEBODY BREAK INTO A HOUSE JUST TO STEAL A REMOTE CONT... -Ohh Never mind, I found it.
I'm either tired or hungry at all times. Often both.
This tweet was going to be really funny but I didn't write it down because I was totally sure I'd remember it.
sick of bullshit dui checkpoint profiling just because i'm a white male with the jagermeister logo emblazoned across his truck windshield
just want to be loved half as much as my cat loves me when I'm eating cereal
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
Relationship status: I'm on twitter
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
I'm so excited about going to the grocery store that I'm crossing shit off the list before I get there.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
Sex so good you both need a helmet.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
It's nice when someone wants you, and even nicer when they don't want anyone else.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
Just so we're clear, there's never ever anything in my pocket, and I'm probably not happy to see you.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
Sorry I opened up and told you my entire life story right after you said, "Hey"
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
"Nope, that's not gonna happen" ~ Life
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
If it wasn't the stupidest thing you've ever seen, then I didn't do it.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
Maybe today is the day I'm gonna get my shit together. I mean, I doubt it, but you don't know.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
I'll listen to your advice for like the first 30 seconds, anything after that you're on your own.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
Your ignorance is fucking up my bliss.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
Haters are going to hate. It's not your fault they don't have lives.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
I'm just a phillips screwdriver living in a flathead world.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
There should be a tax on ignorance.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
It's a shame that compassion isn't contagious.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
I'm old enough to remember being the tv remote.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
A moment of clarity in the middle of endless chaos.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
Asshole- A person who makes your day more difficult than it already is.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
Stop trying to appease everyone. Be you and fuck them.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
It's ok to shed a tear every now and then. It just means you're alive.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
A boob job sounds like the best job in the world.
if you're ever running late just bring a huge glass of milk along and be drinking it noisily as you walk in and no one will say shit to you
"that escalated quickly" -idiot in an elevator
I remember the face of every person who doesn’t say “thank you” when I hold open the door for them.
a fun prank is when ur friemd about to sit in a chair u pul the chair out from under them and replace it w/ a fancier mor comfortabal chair
But, have you even tried relentlessly complaining to someone who doesn't give a fuck, bro?
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
'Pfffft, I already deleted it, baby.' - every guy that gets nudes
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
Sorry I can't follow you because you have hashtags and hearts and shit in your bio.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
I don't know what it is about you, but dammit I like it.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
It's a good day when the music helps you breathe a little easier.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
I'm not wrong about very many people. But I was definitely wrong about her.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
You can't control life but you can control your reaction to it.
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™
Hate when I'm gettin busy in a Burger King bathroom and dude comes knockin' like 'sir your 14 double cheeseburgers are ready'
Retweeted by Mohammed Nouf™