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fart

An iron spear could fall from the sky and pierce my heart, killing me in the most epic way. If I was holding my scripts, would be poetic.
Funny enough, is that I'll achieve where I want in my career before I die, so I'm ready for a lot of people to try becoming my friends again
The real me us too real
They would've preferred to never see the real me and believe in the fake one
Oh yeah, some assholes created another twitter and everybody thinks it's me, so I'll show then the real me
It's 2pm and I'm still in bed
Btw, is not drama, due to a reason I won't mention, I have just until a month of this year, which I'm also not revealing
But since you don't know me, you probably don't care, right?
Btw, I'm going to die this year
This is who I am now
Mas preciso que meu shift termine. Suba tenho mais 40min trabalhando...
Acho que vou pra casa jogar, não dá pra trabalhar com esse estresse não
"My boyfriend won't let me" congratulations on ur 3rd parent lmao
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if i had a dollar for everytime someone spelled my name wrong
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Pelo menos o anúncio do Nintendo Switch ta descente...
Sim, de novo.
The "Just the Two of Us" Google Pixel commercial is pretty good, but the Pixel still looks like a bootleg iPhone. Google, you can do better.
#IOnceGotHighAnd threw up while watching Doctor Strange. It was not cool. Not funny. Just disgustingly terrible.
Tomara q qnd eu morrer eu vá p terra pq no inferno eu já to
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It seems that somebody is bringing bad luck to it
I've never seen so many problems in a film set like the ones we're having
Got one of those Vitamin C juice smoothies to see if it can save me
Woke up feeling like my immune system is down to the ground.
Eu só queria dizer q essa fantasia foi elaborada cm muito carinho mas infelizmente n foi mostrada ao mundo.....
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Funny how some people who decided to go to other parties, had a weak Halloween and were texting me yesterday at 2am! LMAO
If you keep posting motivational phrases on social media, I feel sorry for you.
Dangers of vaping while pregnant: 1. Child will be born with a fedora permanently attached to its head. 2. Born with bees knees 3. Death
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Some people make me wanna throw up
If another high school boy chat snaps my daughter a picture of his vape clouds, I will call the police.
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My love hate relationship for kingdom hearts...theyre finally giving my girl aqua a game....im more excited for KH2.8 than FFXV lmaoo
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I need to find someone who is rich and lives me enough to buy me this and a new console twitter.com/KINGDOMHEARTS/…
wonder when Apple will stop pretending professionals use Final Cut Pro
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You just know someone is going to find a way to put ads on that touch bar. Somehow. #appleevent
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Does Apple even know about the existence of NVIDIA Graphics cards? We are in 2016, come on! smh #appleevent
Time to play some Overwatch, before I have to go out for location scouting
im ugly but im funny so it kinda works out
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Blowing a vape cloud while looking someone in the eyes should be classified as sexual harassment.
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if the walking dead were a romantic comedy
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Sour Lemon + True OG = 😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴😪😴
We're soarin', flying There's not a star in heaven That we can't reach If we're trying So we're breaking free
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black people: don't use the n word white people:
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quando vc ta beijando e sente uma mão descendo
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Zara Larsson is actually pretty good.
This is Beans from Even Stevens then and now, feel old yet?
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