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David C.
I just complained out loud about my Brownies losing to the worst team in the NFL, and my wife asks "So the Browns are losing to themselves?"
Wow. Warner Bros. is betting the house on #BatmanvSuperman. Suicide Squad, Wonder Woman, Flash, Aquaman, Cyborg and another Green Lantern.
So, about that #TheWalkingDead season premiere...
So, my wife admitted she doesn't know how to make egg salad. Really questioning our marriage, and what else she could be hiding...
I'm alive. I'm in pain. But I'm alive, you guys.
In short, it's why my beard looks oh so damn sexy. Find the perfect shave @Walmart #FaceGreatness #ad
What nightmares are made of... Stop watching me, cat!
Well, this sucks. Back to slaving away.
With a female-centric Ghostbusters happening, which leading ladies can you see wearing unlicensed nuclear accelerators on their backs?
Also, I'm not kidding. Sony has really greenlighted Kevin Feig to reboot Ghostbusters with an all-female cast.
I'm torn about this Paul Feig all-female Ghostbusters reboot. Not sure how its going to top the original all-female porn parody.… Added to my list of people I'm going to throw into a volcano when I become ruler of the world.
So, watching someone else shave you can be a little awkward.
Note to self: Remember to wear underwear for any future surgery.
Good God almighty! That grilled him! As God as my witness, he is sauced in half!
So, @RobertDowneyJr is returning for Iron Man 4. Unfortunately, the suit will not be returning after having his scenes cut from Iron Man 3.
So, did you like James Dolan's song about Trayvon Martin? Also, has he ever invited you to play keyboard and jam? #AskIsiah
Have a strong feeling when I go to sleep for surgery tomorrow I will wake weeks later, alone, to find Ebola led to the zombie apocalypse.
Surgery tomorrow morning. I'm going to be sexy with a bionic leg. A masculine sexy though, like Forge.
So bored...
Is it just me, or did Logan Thomas manage to get sacked like 4 times on two plays?
Retweeted by David C.
Well, seeing Bill Maher live last night was sure something...
Celebrating a 2-0 win the first game of the season with eggs and silly faces.
It's Friday, that special day where we all pretend to work and try to sneak out five past three.
So, my 7-year old just watched and understood most of Romeo + Juliet. No big deal.
Christian Ponder is an inspiration. Watching him makes me feel like if I tried really, really hard, I, too, could be a terrible quarterback.
So, #Gotham is just god awful. That is all.
So, President Obama is Road Runner, Secret Service is Wile E. Coyote and Ebola is damn fine marketing for #TheWalkingDead. #ThisWeekInATweet
Met the nicest guy at the Dallas airport last week. His name was Eric Duncan, I think. Such a friendly guy. A little touchy though. #Ebola
Not the best week for my brainchild, the 1st Annual Dallas International Competitive Handshaking Festival... I'm ruined. #Ebola
If this Ebola outbreak does start some sort of zombie apocalypse, years and years of playing Call of Duty Zombies actually meant something.
My wife and I spend more time browsing movies on Netflix than we do watching movies on Netflix. Sigh.
#ShadowOfMordor is the action role-playing game #Destiny should have been. Amazing story, fantastic gameplay experience. I'm in love.
8 days until surgery. Can't wait to be healing on the couch. #ShadowOfMordor #FIFA15
Enjoying Premiere League more than the NFL this year. Matches my skinny jeans, wayfarers, and snarky self-assurance better. #SportsHipster
So, four days later and I'm being forced to ration my @SURGE. Did I really drink two cases already? #SURGEIsBack
Movie night with the wifey. Decisions, decisions.
Breaking news: Video from @BillSimmons podcast revealed. Simmons now released by @espn for "disturbing images" from video. @nflcommish
Let @BillSimmons be a lesson. @espn will not tolerate criticizing @nflcommish. This isn't just a problem at @espn. It's a social problem.
Last night's South Park episode broke my Top 5. Bravo.
No one spoil #AgentsOfSHIELD for me. Or Gotham. It's been a busy week, OK? Get off my back.
So, my girls love their #ZoomerZuppies I picked up @Walmart. I fear our real puppies have been replaced. #ad
Ugh... Soooooo tired.
Psst... Psst... Hey, are you still awake? I can't sleep. And my feet are cold.