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The Brown Guy™
Even when you don't see me tweeting, I'm here, always watching. You're never alone. I'm scrolling through, judging you.
There's no pleasing her. She just spent the last three hours telling me we don't talk.
In the lobby of the iconic hotel, I realized how hotels can be planned. #urban #city #arcift.tt/1djwcbS pic.twitter.com/eQNjyT6fu3
In the lobby of the iconic hotel, I realized how hotels can be planned. #urban #city #architecture #urbanart #travel #vacation #visiting #trip #tourism #tourist #beauty #light #livelaughtravel #downtown #hotel #bns_bestimage #chicago #visitchicago #jwmarriott
My heart may be set firmly in the prairies, but I wouldn't mind waking up to a sight like … ift.tt/1RASbJ5 pic.twitter.com/DIqYfRqylg
My heart may be set firmly in the prairies, but I wouldn't mind waking up to a sight like this again. #urban #buildings #skyscraper #city #architecture #street #structure #cities #travel #vacation #visiting #trip #holiday #fun #tourism #tourist #sky #skypainters #livelaughtravel #skyline #downtown
You know you're drunk when you get home, put food in the microwave and then enter your ATM pin.
Dear ex, if I am sitting outside your house whole day, please don't get me arrested for stalking. I still have your Wi-Fi password, that's …
I knew my sexual fantasies were getting worse, but it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realised I'd hit rock bottom.
I knew we were gonna be friends when you ran into that glass door.
It's always so awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I always say "I love you!, and they're like "Thank you for choosing Domino's."
Auto-correct ruined my chance with this girl. Apparently there is no explaining "I wish you were nine."
[Job interview] Her:"What are your strengths?" Me:"I fall in love easily." Her:"What are your weaknesses?" Me:"Those blue eyes of yours."
If I'm in a public bathroom and someone else in the same bathroom is on the phone and says that he is ANYWHERE ELSE, I flush my toilet.
Me: "Why so serious!?" Her: "Because your heart is beating and I don't like it."
Amongst all the ruins of a concrete jungle, some steel trees stand taller than others. #uift.tt/1QNILyX pic.twitter.com/MC8nF6Abmx
Amongst all the ruins of a concrete jungle, some steel trees stand taller than others. #urban #buildings #skyscraper #city #architecture #street #structure #travel #vacation #visiting #tourism #tourist #skyline #downtown #citylights #view #bns_bestimage #ig_brilliant #chicago #visitchicago #johnhan
A skyline is proof that the heart of men, once set, have a will as strong as the iron and … ift.tt/1CqyxIW pic.twitter.com/GJHM4BzsA4
A skyline is proof that the heart of men, once set, have a will as strong as the iron and concrete that goes in those buildings. #urban #buildings #skyscraper #city #architecture #street #structure #travel #vacation #visiting #tourism #tourist #skyline #downtown #citylights #view #bns_bestimage #ig
Being a male is a matter of birth. Being a man is a matter of age. Being a gentleman is a matter of choice.
I figure I won't be down to my ideal weight until probably 3 months after my funeral.
I know, my completely valid points are no match for your cleavage. #YouWin
Bush and Clinton running for president, Jurassic movie at top of the box office, Terminator movie coming next month. What year is it?
The water changes it hues, reminding of the different shades of peace. #urban #buildingsift.tt/1BwNo9p pic.twitter.com/HQ8doxiZx8
The water changes it hues, reminding of the different shades of peace. #urban #buildings #skyscraper #city #architecture #street #structure #travel #vacation #visiting #tourism #tourist #skyline #downtown #citylights #view #bns_bestimage #ig_brilliant #chicago #visitchicago #johnhancock #travelchic
Just when I thought I had seen enough, I tumbled upon this sight, and it reminded me of a… ift.tt/1fsXMVT pic.twitter.com/IUAmNuH6I5
Just when I thought I had seen enough, I tumbled upon this sight, and it reminded me of all that still remains to be explored. #urban #buildings #skyscraper #city #architecture #street #structure #travel #vacation #visiting #tourism #tourist #skyline #downtown #citylights #view #bns_bestimage #ig_
Something about watching a skyline from a the highest point of a city that gives you confi… ift.tt/1CnZGvZ pic.twitter.com/oKF9m8DEEq
Something about watching a skyline from a the highest point of a city that gives you confidence. #urban #buildings #skyscraper #city #architecture #street #structure #travel #vacation #visiting #tourism #tourist #skyline #downtown #citylights #view #bns_bestimage #ig_brilliant #chicago #visitchicag
If your response to "how was your weekend" longer than 3 syllables, you do not know the immensity of the fuck I do not give.
The mini heart attack you get when your dad calls and you are somewhere you are not supposed to be...
You never completely know someone until you talk to the drunk version of that person.
My life is just a series of awkward and humiliating moments separated by snacks.
What is it about mighty concrete jungles that makes everything feels insignificant? #urbaift.tt/1Jcb0my pic.twitter.com/PB2wZtqQsw
What is it about mighty concrete jungles that makes everything feels insignificant? #urban #buildings #skyscraper #city #architecture #street #structure #cities #urbanart #travel #vacation #trip #tourism #tourist #sky #ord #skyline #downtown #citylights #view #chicago #travelchicago #explorechicago
Destiny may decide who touches your life. Your heart may decide who touches your soul. Tequila decides who touches your body.
With the right person, there is no such thing as inappropriate behavior.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said bet you a dollar you can't hit me with a quarter! How is be not in Harper's cabinet yet?
Stress balls have greater effectiveness when thrown at those who cause you the most stress.
#BestLyricsEver "I'm not bad, I'm brutal my baby. I'll eat you like noodle, my baby. Have a doubt, go to Google. You'll find I'm brutal"
Screw these allergies. My nose should be in the Olympics from all the running it does.
How old do I have to be before I have any idea what's going on?
Whoever said #chicago was just about the skyline didn't watch a sun rise at the marina. #… ift.tt/1Bt61Lt pic.twitter.com/qgtzLLPujg
Whoever said #chicago was just about the skyline didn't watch a sun rise at the marina. #travel #vacation #nature #sky #sun #lake #sunrise #clouds #cloudporn #skylovers #skypainters #mothernature #scenery #marina #bns_bestimage #ord #explorechicago #travelchicago
This is a very fancy restaurant, and I don't want to embarrass myself. What side of the plate does the phone go on?
In grade school it’s called bullying but when you get older it’s called upper level management.
Coffee doesn't ask silly questions. Coffee understands.
Yes, auto correct, I was attempting to call my ex a "dumb birch."




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