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I just want to spoon out your eyes and force feed them to you through your nose
All I want this week is for one day to pass without someone being a prick
My nephews and nieces are literally everything to me
Retweeted by ᵀᴴᴱᴼᴿᴵᴳᴵᴻᴬᴸ
What if oxygen is poisonous and it just takes 75-100 years to kill us?
Retweeted by ᵀᴴᴱᴼᴿᴵᴳᴵᴻᴬᴸ
Remember, the girls who say, "a lot of guys are after me", should keep in mind that low prices always attract many customers.
Retweeted by ᵀᴴᴱᴼᴿᴵᴳᴵᴻᴬᴸ
When I'm married divorce is not an option. If you mad you better go in a room or get a massage. Cause we're working all our sh*t out
Retweeted by ᵀᴴᴱᴼᴿᴵᴳᴵᴻᴬᴸ
If I were a celebrity I would kill two birds with one stone and release a scented children's book.
Retweeted by ᵀᴴᴱᴼᴿᴵᴳᴵᴻᴬᴸ
If I treated you the way you treated me, you would hate me.
Retweeted by ᵀᴴᴱᴼᴿᴵᴳᴵᴻᴬᴸ
'Do you know the colour of your eyebrows are the colour of your pubes!?' #Gogglebox
I shouldn't laugh, but @DomParker5's verson of the Pistorius trial was pretty good #Gogglebox
'Well they can skate off down the dole office tomorrow' @ChrissySteed #Gogglebox
Brothers friends got me a crate ... Um why not
Suppose it's gunna have to be chicken nuggets and a wank day for me 😂
Retweeted by ᵀᴴᴱᴼᴿᴵᴳᴵᴻᴬᴸ