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I just want to spoon out your eyes and force feed them to you through your nose
All I want this week is for one day to pass without someone being a prick
My nephews and nieces are literally everything to me
Retweeted by Nathan Walker
What if oxygen is poisonous and it just takes 75-100 years to kill us?
Retweeted by Nathan Walker
Remember, the girls who say, "a lot of guys are after me", should keep in mind that low prices always attract many customers.
Retweeted by Nathan Walker
When I'm married divorce is not an option. If you mad you better go in a room or get a massage. Cause we're working all our sh*t out
Retweeted by Nathan Walker
If I were a celebrity I would kill two birds with one stone and release a scented children's book.
Retweeted by Nathan Walker
Theres some proper tunes on @thisisheart tonight
If I treated you the way you treated me, you would hate me.
Retweeted by Nathan Walker
'Do you know the colour of your eyebrows are the colour of your pubes!?' #Gogglebox
I shouldn't laugh, but @DomParker5's verson of the Pistorius trial was pretty good #Gogglebox
'Well they can skate off down the dole office tomorrow' @ChrissySteed #Gogglebox
This woman knows her driving! #Gogglebox
Brothers friends got me a crate ... Um why not
Suppose it's gunna have to be chicken nuggets and a wank day for me 😂
Retweeted by Nathan Walker
I was meant to be having pizza for dinner but my cat ate it oh
Retweeted by Nathan Walker
Got some proper funny looks walking through town with 'Friday Yay' and loads of balloons drawn across my face 👊💦
Steak and Blowjob day tomorrow 😋
Me & @JordanAvril got terrorised for being from Bradford and being posh. HAHAH
When somebody defends you by favoriting your tweet in an argument
Retweeted by Nathan Walker
Still havent got to grips with what lessons we have on each day sigh
Retweeted by Nathan Walker
No wonder no one can stick to diets it's like £4 for a box of strawberrys and £1 for a massive slab of cadburys dairy milk?!
Retweeted by Nathan Walker