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natebuckwell
"HELP! That man is throwing toilet paper at me!" - #SeppBlatter
r u a minion??????? because u need to shut the hell up
Retweeted by natebuckwell
The most vulgar and offensive license plate Ive ever seen #nicklebacksucks pic.twitter.com/nhsZriH2bk
#Obama reached a peaceful deal with Iran,proving once again that he is an atheist Muslim communist traitor Benghazi. #IranDeal
I want to send a killer cyborg back in time to ensure no more #Terminator movies are made after Judgement Day
Who needs 50 shades of grey, when we can have 50 states of gay? #LoveWins
#Obama is officially the first sitting US president to use the #Nword since George W stubbed his toe on the desk in the oval office.
According to conservatives, #DylannRoof only killed 3/5ths of 9 people. #CharlestonShooting #BurnThatFlag
I think #Ke$ha would be a shoe in for the US #10dollarbill
Happy anniversary to the battle of #Waterloo, the battle in which Napolean came up a little short. #Waterloo200 #sorry #terriblepun
I think the #GOP asked @realDonaldTrump to run for president to make the other candidates look less idiotic.
#breastfeeding is gross for the same reason I like asses, but I don't want to see a woman take a shit.
"Ha ha ha #WINE !" -female facebook users over 30
Oneway street Bruce Ave. in Windsor decides to switch directions and changes name to Caitlyn #WindsorProblems pic.twitter.com/A7bl1FzHrC
Retweeted by natebuckwell
When they say "it takes a village to raise a child", i didnt know they meant financially.
Only if you promise to never give ted cruz back. Ever.
"yup.....he signed it" - Public Notaries
If #RandPaul2016 sees his shadow, that means it's only 8 more weeks until the real presidential candidates are announced! #RandPaul
Dear people who have writing on their houses instead of numbers for their address: Cut the shit.
the only thing thats dumber than being a pizzeria that wont to serve gays, is giving $400k to a pizzeria that wont to serve gays
Congrats #Indiana You're the laughing stock of a country that has #Texas , #AlabamaA AND #Florida in it.
"It's not a cult!" -People in cults
USA has been at war during 217 out of its 238 calendar years of existence.
Retweeted by natebuckwell
all im saying is that hospitals should let you peruse strangers' medical records to pass the time while you're waiting
I went to call an ambulance today, and accidentally called an ambivalence. They said they weren't sure if they were going to show up or not
#ApologyToMyParents Im sorry for pooping and puking everywhere for a few years when I was a baby, and again when I was old enough to drink
My greatest fear in life is waking up as an old man one day, and realize i could have eaten more burritos
The porn parody of #GameOfThrones contains less porn than the original
Bacon is hands down the most important bacon of the day #Bacon
It’s so cute how newspapers are still trying.
Retweeted by natebuckwell
"Milkshake" should be a blood type
Me: "why are you angrily dropping so much snow on us this year?" Mother nature: "nothing. Its fine."
If you're looking for the guys who say America is a Christian nation, they're busy trying to take health insurance from 8 million Americans.
Retweeted by natebuckwell
RIP #LeonardNimoy You lived long and prospered :(
"Obama?" Yeah, Joe? "Do you think I can sleep on the top bunk tonight?" No, Joe that's dangerous *Joe turns off night light* "FINE"
Retweeted by natebuckwell
"Those are nice vacation photos, but I wish you would have taken more pictures of your food" - No one
I dont think @RealRudyGiulian saying #obama doesnt love America is that bad. I mean look at you, America. You've really let yourself go.
Im sick of science classes not teaching that Athena turned Arachne into a spider. #teachthecontroversy #creationism
#coldweather warning: Frostbite can occur tonight after only 4 minutes of looking outside.
I'm considering giving up Atheism for #Lent2015
The only time it is acceptable for a guy to say "Hey nice shirt" to another guy is if they are both wearing the same shirt.
The French Revolution was 215 years ago. Holy shit I feel old.
According to legend, if The Prophet Muhammad sees his own reflection, he'll turn to stone.
Im going to buy cinnamon hearts for people I secretly hate. #ValentinesDay
#ZombieSongs That song by the Cranberries that goes "Wif der taynks en DER bombs en DER guuhns een yer heeaaad der steel foightee-eeen"




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