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It will be fun to hear the folks on Fox News pronounce "Galifianakis."
Retweeted by natebuckwell
Whenever I see a @smartCar, I feel like filling it full of water and throwing it at someone.
Dear #Russia We all know the Olympics are expensive, but you can't just TAKE the Ukraine to pay for them! #russiainvadesukraine
Dick Cheney: "Obama weakened our military so much that Putin invaded Crimea. In my administration only WE invaded countries for no reason."
Retweeted by natebuckwell
*10th wedding anniversary* Are you sure you still like like me
Retweeted by natebuckwell
I just clicked on the last @Upworthy link I'll ever click on, you won't believe what happens next.
Retweeted by natebuckwell
Facebook Status Bar: What are you doing? Me: Oh, just balling my eyes out watching Downton Abbey. *Facebook changed my gender instantly.
Retweeted by natebuckwell
No beard: couldnt start the snowblower With beard: got it started on my first try #beardlieve
I went to a Walk-in clinic without a fully charged phone #livingdangerously
Betting on the cowboys is a lot like give birth control to a lesbian. You're wasting your fucking money.
Retweeted by natebuckwell
"White Girls" - a poem I need starbucks now Like can this weather just not Netflix, uggs, and yoga pants Your so pretty I can't even
Retweeted by natebuckwell
sneezing is like coughing with your nose
Tea Party Senators say that giving aid to Tornado victims will only encourage lazy survivors
where in the scouts code does it say to gouge out the eyes of your opponent for few seconds? #teemotuesdays
if it turns out #Zimmerman 's gf is black, will he get off scott free?
"to hell with The Phillipines, WHITE people are the victims of an awful storm now!" -@CNN
December 13th & 14th we are hosting the roast of Santa Claus featuring The Tooth Fairy, The Boy Who Saw Mommy Kissing Santa, Jesus and more.
Retweeted by natebuckwell
I wish there was a "no tweets about sports at all" option
Mathematically speaking, #PS4 is 4 times as good as #XboxOne #math
"We stopped our labour camps! Don't worry, our impoverished workforce is still HIIIIIIGHLY exploitable" - China
when life knocks you down, take a nap
"@ladygaga says she's addicted to pot, so be on the lookout in case she starts exhibiting any odd behavior."
Retweeted by natebuckwell
over 100 followers! 1st Twitter, then the world! Thank you to every for following me, and showing your support!
I'm really getting into @billmaher lately. I'm not sure if it's because he's been getting funnier, or I've been getting angrier lately.
My latest for Rolling Stone on how the GOP ensures that elections don't have consequences:
Retweeted by natebuckwell