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Muslims say the bible is not the word of God Christians say the Quran is not the word of God Well done you're both right
Retweeted by natebuckwell
Dont mistake my weakness for kindness
#QZ8501 looks like Christmas finally came for @CNN !
#cancerabook We need title ideas!! One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, You Have Cancer
Retweeted by natebuckwell
#cancerabook she sells T cells by the sea shore
#cancerabook I BiopSEE what you did there
@hahahaddon White privilege vs white blood cells I'd give my right nut! #cancerabook
Retweeted by natebuckwell
#cancerabook game is happening. Come on #cancer haters. Need a good book title for my cancer book. #fuckcancer @hastags
Retweeted by natebuckwell
1 easy step to getting sympathy pussy: get cancer. #cancerabook
Retweeted by natebuckwell
#cancerabook I'm Dying up here: Cancer and Comedy
#cancerabook Hey, at least it's not erectile disfunction.
Dying of Cancer Book by me, needs title. Tweet at me with #cancerabook with your ideas. Exp: What To Expect When You're Expecting...To Die.
Retweeted by natebuckwell
#cancerabook for the last time, Im not going to start selling meth
#cancerabook laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer
#cancerabook my white blood cells are pussies
#cancerabook Bald is Beautiful. and Cold.
#cancerabook How to have a sense of Tumour
Be the sarcasm you wish to see in the world.
I feel like the future of our species will be determined by a fight to the death between @elonmusk and the #kochbrothers
Only 3 more days until "OHMYGOD THEY'RE TRYING TO DESTROY #Christmas " season!
Blaming #Muslims or #Islam for Terrorism is like blaming White People for school shootings. #EndTheHate
The relationship between a teacher and a parent is a mutual feeling of "Oh god, Im doing my best for this kid. Please dont judge/hate me."
#LeonardoDiCaprio deserves an an Oscar for his speech at the #UnitedNations but we all know he won't get one.
#simpsonscouchgag The group of writers from 20 years ago all run up and sit on the couch, and the show starts to get funny again.
Ah the 3 B's of #summer Barbeque, Bonfire, and Bswimming
So now that #Brazil has hosted a global sporting event, is it their turn to annex Crimea? #WorldCup2014
Oh yeah like you've never pretended to web sling up a flight of stairs before
Happy anniversary of the filling out of the requisite paperwork to not be considered a British territory anymore. #CanadaDay
"I don't eat gluten" has become the new "I don't own a TV"
If I had access to #timetravel I would go back and kick @glennbeck 's mom in the stomach while she was pregnant with him.
"Time to go home and beat my tofu" - a vegan talking about masturbating
#rickperry compares homosexuality to alcoholism Meaning its ok to have a little gay, as long as its administered in church by a priest
Not trying to brag, but my wife lets me have sex with her if she's feeling too lazy to masturbate.
Retweeted by natebuckwell
Hey baby, did it hurt? When Dorothy threw the water on you, which caused you to melt?
I normally don't sports very well, but where do I cast my vote for who wins the #WorldCup this year?
....but at least we got rid of Iraq's Weapons of Mass Destruction, right? #Mosul
Remember folks, you can't spell non sequitor without our brave men and women in uniform who defend our freedom.
Q: How many @BestBuy employees does it take to sell a tablet? A: so far 4