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Mrs Stephen Fry
london comedy 149,634 followers
Important: Don't mix up your diet pills with your Viagra. It's hard enough as it is.
Retweeted by Mrs Stephen Fry
Can somebody tell me what we've got for dinner? I may as well just dive into the canal with my mouth open. 😳#fastdayypic.twitter.com/IzVfjUIfxjj
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Apparently you can move your fast days to fit into your schedule. I wish someone had told me earlier! I've moved all mine to October 2045.
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I can't believe they're making Mrs Doubtfire 2. A man dressed as a woman isn't remotely amusing.
Can't decide what to do at Easter? Ask yourself, what would Jesus do?
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Just a few years ago? I had to blow out the candles on Bridget's 40th birthday cake because there was an air raid! J
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Happy 40th birthday to @victoriabeckham I turned 40 myself just a few years ago - Joan blew out my candles before I got the chance to! B
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Bad day yesterday. Wrote off the car reversing into a Tesco trolley park and the wife put me on the 5:2 fast diet. Oh well, it's only a car.
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Need to cut out sugar? Switch to cheese. Sprinkle some on your breakfast cereal or try a couple of lumps in your morning coffee.
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Science fact: When you eat a kebab, you actually burn more calories than you consume.
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Try the 5:2 diet for men - Five days a week you can eat whatever you like. The other two, you have to eat what the wife's cooked for you.
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'Does this excite you?' she asked, sprawling naked on the lawn. 'Not half,' I drooled, 'I only laid that turf last week and look at it now!'
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The more manly the activity, the more calories you burn - Jogging: 20 cals Weightlifting: 90 cals Refusing to ask for directions: 350 cals
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Multi-millionaire Hollywood blockbuster director Michael Bay reveals the secret of his creative genius . . m.youtube.com/watch?v=R4rMy1…
Making love is like the London Marathon - rhythmical, satisfying and a lot trickier in a rhino costume. #bbcmarathon #LondonMarathon
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I know, @bob_love, I find myself asking the same question to my darling @stephenfry. Over and over again . . .
Recently whenever I read a @MrsStephenFry tweet the voice in my head is Edna Everidge... Why head, why...
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Oh dear, @stephenfry's so proud of my London Marathon win, he's showing everyone the Frybot . . . pic.twitter.com/vzOAD4iv82
'EDNA WINS LONDON MARATHON' - At last, dears, all those years of training finally paid off! x #bbcmarathon #LondonMarathon #EdnaWinsAtLast