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Morgan Murphy

this coffee bean & tea leaf is 🔥🔥t2U
I know my dog is from Los Angeles cuz he looked older when he was younger
Trump's lawyer looks like a guy they put on small batch whiskey in Silverlake
Oh don't be a fucking idiot, iPhone
can decide if I should tweet "like father like treason" or "the apple doesn't fall far from the treason" or do something useful with my life
this looks like a People magazine profile of a man who lost his family in a fire &now works 2 warn others of the dangers of portable heaters
Retweeted by Morgan Murphy
the moment you realize people only showed up to your birthday dinner cuz the invite said there was an open bar
the best inventions are probs electricity and medicine and the pooch selfie.
this is my fav pic of a real thing that happened on the @DougStanhope tour.
#tbt '09 @Blied directed a sketch thing I wrote for late night w/@jimmyfallon about cats with a tattoo shop. my life has been memorable.
I figured out a fun way around Paul Ryan's "no sleeveless" rule for ladies...
this documentary looks GREAT!! 🏉 “F(L)AG FOOTBALL - Official Trailer”…0
the one friend on the road that has never let me down is the Red Bull fridge in every single comedy green room.
there's no better image to represent all of America right now than a few enjoying the things that belong to the many.
@morgan_murphy ...and Aussies, Kiwis, Germans, Dutch, Antarctic people (we're worldwide!)... and we're v. happy have you on our lil platform 😀K
Retweeted by Morgan Murphy
sometimes the glamour of doing standup on the road astounds even me cc:@DougStanhope @gregchaille
maybe the saddest case of a robot taking an American job I've ever seen 🇺�xY
Stuck in service elevator listening to @morgan_murphy about to intro me.
Retweeted by Morgan Murphy
Happy #4thOfJuly weekend from me and the headliner (@DougStanhope).
nobody in this picture will talk about the new Jay Z album with me. cc: @DougStanhope @gregchaille @Egglester
The Comedians' Comedian's Comedians on @SeesoTV is ou now! Featuring @morgan_murphy
Retweeted by Morgan Murphy
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