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Morgan Murphy

not being racist but these immigrants taking American jobs all look alike.
Retweeted by Morgan Murphy
Alex from Caltech will never live down losing this question to Lilly from MIT
if entry to Heaven was based on your Airbnb reviews, I'd get a plus one. 🙏�RW
I went outside to take a call and the warriors did this...
It's not easy to need a man who would leave you for a tennis ball.
happy valentines day to platonic male friends who come over to hang out with my dog while I make them watch the bachelor. ❤️
I'll be telling jokes at the Hollywood Improv tonight at 930...
Steve Bannon & Kellyanne Conway look like a couple in a contentious divorce cuz he impregnated a homeless woman he met at a dive bar BYEEE
I hope she's okay but I've honestly never related more to a cheerleader. #OregonVsUCLA
Mexico drive w/@gretchenbaer to her kids art studio in Naco. #borderbedazzlers 🇺🇸�N5VD
Umm...I won $$ at this party so yeah. #superbowl thanks @DougStanhope
my favorite commercials have been the ones playing while a gentleman uses the urinal next to the TV. #SuperBowl
when I had no idea what would happen to my country or my hair. #tbt
this is the only evidence of a "bowling green massacre" I can find...
I'm ready for this fight. #tbt
Same @billburr​, new Bill Burr special. Walk Your Way Out streams January 31, only on Netflix.
Retweeted by Morgan Murphy
just saw Trump's doctor in Los Feliz
Steve Bannon looks like his daughter just told him she asked her stepdad to walk her down the aisle instead.
when you can't decide whether to order the hate salad or the filet of unprecedented bigotry, so you just get both.
.@POTUS I found this photographic evidence of some fraud at a polling place
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