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Morgan Murphy
My iPhone fell off my tenth floor balcony onto concrete. It still works. 👏👏
My cleat fell apart so my teammates taped it onto my foot. We lost out first game to a formidable NCIS:LA. #2BrokeGirls softball now has a record of 6-1. You're welcome for the update!
until today, my housekeeper of 3 years thought I had grown children who had moved out. I'm 32.
I wish you could get Ebola by sitting in a coffee shop and talking loudly about your script.
Retweeted by Morgan Murphy
thank you @lenadunham for letting me perform on your wonderful book tour & allowing me to say horrible things in a church.
lena & miranda. lovely people.
#80 congrats @bethbehrsreal @jbkite @katdenningsss @themoywonder Coolidge, Garrett, Oprah & more
dinner. these guys. NYC.
@almadrigal @wyattcenac #YesFilter #NY
#DadWeekend #Pepsi #tbt
I think whatever Bruce Jenner is doing is brave. Not "serving our country" brave. But like, "carrying a briefcase in middle school" brave.
FYI...2 Broke Girls Softball is 5-0. Today we had 4 fans!! (One was an infant)
my mom found a scrapbook. I peaked at 15. 🏀
It's easier to get Ebola in Texas than an abortion
RIP 4 years ago Greg Giraldo. If you want to watch a master of comedy google that name.
Retweeted by Morgan Murphy
Caramel is a huge Chip Kelly fan cuz she knows. cc: @mattbarkley @barkleybritt @mitchellness @lmbloom
in news you don't give a crap about: 2 broke girls softball is 4-0!! next week we play children's hospital. The show. Not an actual children's hospital.
I'm a 32-year-old woman in a fantasy football league AND an actual softball league. does that count as eating pussy?
big night! #roshhashanah #dodgers
floating @champagnepapi. #DrakeVsLilWayne @ The Bowl. good times w/ @chrislfarah.
.@StubHub hey so it's nice to know your protocol when there's a glitch is to move me to shittier seats than the ones I paid for. thanks.
we lost another great actor today. #RIPEricTheActor
my pal @matdevineslife has a new album. you can get it here:
This is the cheering section for the 2 Broke Girls softball team. Don't matter. We're 3-0. Later haters. 👍🇺🇸⚾️
Tonights the deadline to support a great personal documentary being made by @Kulap check it out here… @originstorydoc
Retweeted by Morgan Murphy
new balcony chairs arrived. eBay find. shipped em via greyhound bus cuz it was almost 10 times cheaper than UPS. A lot of friends helped'em get to my apartment from New Jersey. Thank ya.
I was a pretty sexy toddler
That's @rachelclind in the middle. She's one of our very awesome writers assistants. Her job is really hard and she's really good at it. 👑
@bethbehrsreal #workpix
huge congrats to @petedavidson! he's hilarious. SNL is 2/2 so far.
Thank u 4 supporting my dream
#MyGirlz #MissAmerica
wish me luck #MissAmerica
@brianparillophotography // @justindustyrocherolle
just found an old flier/lineup. the show that became "comedy death-ray." Memories time! @scottaukerman @picturesoftext @jarrettgrode
nowadays if someone says "the carpet matches the drapes," it probably means they're dating a bald girl.
well that's fuckin adorable