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Want to see @IbottaApp
in a commercial during the 2014 Big Game? intuit.me/13GGKwh #TeamSmallBiz
I have a new home page here twiends.com/mommydalek
- check me out!
I don't know how anybody gets attacked by sharks... As soon as I heard that first, "Dun, Dun", I'd be out of there so fucking quick.
Being bisexual is the ability to reach down someone's pants and be satisfied with whatever you find.
I'm pretty sure all of the 7 dwarfs were named after a stage of Snow White's heroin addiction
My lucks so bad if I bought a cemetery people would stop dying.
BREAKING NEWS: God has been arrested after millions of people claim to have been 'touched by him'.
Wait...so if being gay is supposed to be genetic, how do parents pass it on to their kids?
Blood really is thicker than water... This bathtub has been draining for over an hour now.
I fell off my bike. lost a chunk of skin on my arm. All you could see was muscle and tissue. Now has zero feeling.
This needs to be retweeted 1,000,000 times.
The Mayans gave us Cocaine, Chocolate and Tobacco. We were fools to believe anything they say.
Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016. wh.gov/XYRm
Play Campbell's Soup Holiday Rewards for a chance to win $1000 in groceries#CampbellHolidayRewards goo.gl/JHQiG #plyfe
Play Campbell's Soup Holiday Rewards for a chance to win $1000 in groceries! #CampbellHolidayRewards goo.gl/JHQiG #plyfe
Time for cinnamon rolls and a good book
We don't have to save the world. What we have to be concerned about is whether or not the world will be capable of sustaining us in it.
98% of us die at some point in our lives
When your child asks you a pressing question
Try answering with
'what do YOU think?'
Instead of filling them with your idealisms
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live
There needs to be a band that sounds like a cross between Nightwish and Dragonforce. Imagine the epic-ness of that band.
A neutron walks in to a bar and asks the bartender how much for a drink, he replies "for you, no charge"
Did someone call for a hero, or is that just the theme music playing in my head?
My TARDIS brings all the Daleks to the yard, and they're like "EXTERMINATE"
Chernobyl Diaries was a suck movie. It was just like every other mutant movie.
Paranormal marathon. Just like every other day. First I'll watch "Year One"
Every mom needs a candy drawer/stash.
My oldest Dalek passed out on his bedroom floor. The youngest is almost asleep. Time to clean this messy house
Is it sad I'm excited to go grocery shopping tonight?