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MJ Krey
Get Donald into the top 10 so he’s in the GOP debates. If polled, say you’re voting Trump! #Trumpthedebate RT
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Oh, and let George Miller direct the Indiana Jones reboot. PLEASE. #MadMax #WishfulThinking
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Wayward Pines is turning into the new Lost and I'm okay with that.
Is it me? I think it's me. It's me, isn't it. RT @ScienceFiction: Here's Who Won't Be Playing Marvel's Spider-Man bit.ly/1e9aM2w
"Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?" -Mitch Hedberg pic.twitter.com/tkChIt9auR
If you tweet a pic of a bunch of words, you're cheating at Twitter. 140 or GTFO.
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I automatically bypass any headline that starts "Sarah Palin says..."
What about his victims?RT @TIME: Josh Duggar’s parents are ‘devastated’ by the molestation allegations against their son.
Yes, Kris Jenner, it's all about you, you selfish, self-absorbed vomit puddle.
Basically talked for a half hour and have nothing to show for it.
Nothing like recording a podcast with your brother for 30 min then realizing your recording app makes you press 2 buttons to record.
Has anyone made a joke about Sepp Blatter's name yet? It sounds funny! Like the place pee comes from.
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Sepp Blatter sounds like the country cousin of Pap Smear.
I don't know, commercials... Is it really that hard to buy damn razor blades?
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NOOOOOOOOOO! RT @TIME: Drinking 4 cups of coffee a day is bad for you, study says ti.me/1eDQ2jA
RT @adamtodbrown: Wisconsin: Where no one bats an eyelash if you walk in a store and ask if they have a time machine. pic.twitter.com/t4DlauX5lX
Check out my new blog post - goo.gl/CGcWp8
The American Dream is to get paid a lot to do nothing. Basically, to have the life of a vitamin.
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Gah! Stung by a wasp right between the shoulder blades. Somebody call 911.
Nickleback gets too much shit. A lot of that anger should be directed at Maroon 5. #AmericanNickleback
Read the first chapter of Agents of the Internet Apocalypse. Available for pre-order: internet-apocalypse.com pic.twitter.com/k5UJIlmNWw
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Congratulations to Ireland. Or as I like to call it Fire Ireland.
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Just felt the need to share that. Also, I can now get 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep and my joints no longer hurt.
Watched a Katie Couric doc a few weeks ago called Fed Up and decided to give up sugar and diet sodas. I've lost 8 pounds so far w/o trying
Adblock Plus Releases Standalone Browser That Blocks All Ads ow.ly/2YRs9b
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"9 months later when the family found out the molesting hadn't stopped" Jail for the parents, 19 years and counting. laist.com/2015/05/21/jos…
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(My favorite movie is still Guardians of the Galaxy, though)
Thank you, @pattonoswalt , for gushing over Mad Max on Twitter. I wouldn't have seen the decade's best action movie otherwise.
Thanks to @jimmypardo and @NeverNotFunny , I have a full on crush on @janetvarney.
What the hell is a 'Back Pitch' and why are so proud to be one? Are they better than front ... tmi.me/1f4mWi
It's embarrassing enough to call yourself "pitches", you forgot the comma, too. bit.ly/pp2tics pic.twitter.com/0mRidqZHLy
My fav comic as a kid. RT @slashfilm: 'The New Mutants' Developing at Fox. goo.gl/tQBryA pic.twitter.com/Pc2BbXBsMW
Oh Em Effing G. RT @TheOnion: In Focus: Breakfast In Bed Served To Mom Who Just Got Eaten Out theonion.com/r/32401tsd pic.twitter.com/xrlv6dG6pv




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