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MJ Krey
Caddyshack is my comfort food. Midlife crisis averted.
Sign #366 that I'm careening towards a midlife crisis: I'm thinking about getting my first tattoo. Any suggestions?
That famous comedian turning her Twitter account over to an endless string of unfunny comics the last few weeks is a huge bust.
Too long for Twitter, but why we must reject Carson's rhetoric of hate.…
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#MyDeathWillLikelyInvolve me trying to shave those 3 hairs between my eyebrows
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I've just been informed that That 80s Show is on Hulu. Feeling stupid for watching 7 episodes in 360p.
Not watching the debate but it sounds like Jeb! just stuck his foot in his mouth. A Bush Family tradition.
Can't watch the GOP debate; makes me too angry. Love all the progressive people I follow tweeting about it though.
Don't adjust your sets, Scott Walker's face really looks like that
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Now I'm watching That 80s Show. Wasn't good then, just as bad now. Can't turn it off.
Just found season 3 of Soap. Is there a twelve step program for people addicted to nostalgia?…
Now I'm watching Angie reruns on YouTube. Please help me.…
Went down a weird rabbit hole today. Started with Too Many Cooks, then ABC Promos from the 80s, then 80s sitcom themes.
I've seen Guardians of the Galaxy a bajillion times and I still can't believe the voice of Rocket Raccoon is Bradley Cooper.
There isn't nearly as much BMX in BMX Bandits as I thought.
I survived seeing the movie "World Trade Center"
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How many racist Texas police and school officials does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb? THAT'S A BOMB!!!
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"Look at this dumb hillbilly with a mullet" said the vaping hipster with the man-bun.
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Just signed up for #nanowrimo
The working poor are grossly underrepresented on television.
5 minutes into new Mindy Project, She says "ExSQUEEZE ME!?!" First and last time I will watch the Mindy Project.
The R-Rated Reason A Certain Alien Race Can't Appear In 'Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2'
i guess unions must have fucked scott walker's girlfriend or something
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(Sigh) Yes. 😔 RT@MattMiraa: Aren't you a little fat to be a Stormtrooper?
12 Movies That Deserve To Have Way More of a Cult Following
No. Just... No. RT @NPR: Are you a bassoon buff or a bassoon baffoon? Take our Big Bassoon Puzzler.
Power went out so I spent the night rereading @pattonoswalt s Zombie Spaceship Wasteland on kindle by candlelight. Highly recommended.
text someone you haven't talked to in a while, "sometimes it seems like we're not even dating."
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Up top, my brother! @jimmypardo RT @blainecapatch: shakey's really has my number
Judge me by my size do you? And well you should not. For my ally is the force! And a powerful ally it is. -Yoda #ForceFriday
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Kevin Feige Almost Quit Marvel Over 'Civil War' Disagreements
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Kim Davis is hilariously close to becoming a real life Pawtucky.
Re: Kim Davis My 85yr old Grandmother just said,"Why's she getting away with it? That bitch should be fired right then!"
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If you see me eating food, you have my permission to slap it outta my hands. Unless it's a Snickers; this fat boy loves his Snickers.
"You look like a combination of a predator and his prey." - @kumailn #throwupthursday
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In the middle of a Mad Max Fury Road/ Turbo Kid double feature. You should be jealous.
I bet Marty McFly puts his cruise control to 87 MPH all the time just to piss off the flux capacitor.
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RT @michaelianblack: My response to @SD_Wheeler, who proposed that we expel every Muslim living in America.
Kentucky County Clerk Kim Davis Has Principles (Sometimes!)…
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Just a heads up, gang. I have it on good authority that band-aids can't fix bullet holes.
Since all serial criminals are always known by 3 names, I say we call him Bill Wayne Cosby. Let's get it started, people: #BillWayneCosby
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Sequel to Hawk the Slayer announced! Who wants to see Hawk the Hunter? Back the Kickstarter, get a FREE RiffTrax of
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"I reminded myself that I was a man of science, even if I did usually get a C in it."…
Made a Samurai Jack knife block
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