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Michael Ian Black
comedian comedy actor 1,930,413 followers
Planes going down like KK on Ray J.
Listen to "Topics." @mshowalter and I solved the Middle East problem months ago. Ep. 26.…
Thunder is a wonder; it tears the skies asunder. But lightning is frightening; I feel my asshole tightening.
When I say "Hey," and then somebody says, "Hay is for horses," a perfect response is, "Fuck you."
Fun to hear abt kids wanting capes after reading NAKED! How to make your own: @michaelianblack
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Today I plan on doing a good job. j/k
What be the best fruit? Cherries be the best fruit.
Get this shit: I'm sweating.
Yes to the 90's shows. No to Connecticut. RT @Young_Oliff yea, and doing 90s shows and stuff.
In Connecticut? RT @Young_Oliff hey mike, big fan, ever thought you'd be where you were today, a long time ago?
More like Deep Throat Chopra.
MONSTER MOTORS comes out tomorrow! Many many years of hard work pay off in a 45+ page book of awesomeness!
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My bedtime stories lead to midnight snacking on @Klondikebar Kandy Bars. So lights out when the box is out.… #ad
Actually, I'm fine with the game. I really do just hate the player.
Today I packed up about thirty boxes of books. Yet another reason why reading is stupid.
This is an accurate HuffPo headline: "You'll Never Guess How Much Taylor Swift Spent On Her Shorts."
When you think about it, calling a spade a spade seems pretty obvious.
Why doesn’t the news ever report on the good stuff that happens to Malaysian flights?
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Now available for boat shows and bingo calling.
If I had to pick my best feature, it would be my DVD of "Raising Arizona."