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Eric A. Meyer
webdevelopment 78,870 followers
Ordered 15 custom photo books; 14 were perfect, but one had our cover and someone else’s pages. I hope nobody got our pages in their cover.
Use this ONE WEIRD TRICK to make your sites keyboard friendly: Delete this: :focus {outline: none}
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On the other hand, I found out Kay Warren and I feel very similarly, so there’s that:… (link via @anthonystauffer)
Last week featured various people telling me and Kat how we’ve failed them, each other, and ourselves. Let’s see what you’ve got, new week.
I keep wanting to apologize to Carolyn and Joshua. Not from guilt, but a profound regret that they experienced death so close, so young.
“The Light of Other Days”
Helped Kat fill out forms dealing with her inheritance. So much paperwork in death.
Just filled out forms to update the beneficiaries of my life insurance policy. Just Kat, Carolyn, and Joshua now.
Much sorrow and anger. Trying to let go of the anger. Not easy right now, even though I know I have no right to it.
Baruch Dayan Emet It is with profound sorrow that we record the untimely passing of Chloe Weil beloved...
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In today’s mail: information about the college savings account Cuyahoga County created for Rebecca when she graduated from kindergarten.
I have no idea if I’m making any sense. I’ve been getting less and less sleep recently; down to three hours last night.
“One Month”: marking the first of many milestones.
One month. Thirty days. It feels like a lifetime and no time at all.
Proof that politicians aren‘t totally useless: this morning‘s CNN op-ed by John Boehner caused my first actual LOL in weeks.
An unintended, intensely bittersweet consequence of being so far behind on Flickr uploads is that I‘m still uploading pictures of Rebecca.
I was unclear earlier: I wasn’t beating myself up, I was mourning for her. For how her life was affected by the cancer even before we knew.
Broke down over all the timeouts I put her in, over the possibility that her anger and defiance wasn’t her fault, that the tumor drove it.
Finally starting to come to grips with how much I have to come to grips with, mostly in relation to her final day.
“What Not To Say to a Grieving Parent”—advice on how to avoid causing unintended harm.
I understand… now. I’m not going to do it, but I understand it.
Cleaning out the school artwork boxes from the past year. Rebecca really loved to draw rainbows. Carolyn drew and wrote about Rebecca.
I’ll always wonder whether Rebecca actually disliked most chocolate, or if she just said she did in solidarity with me. The former, I hope.
A cruel irony of our grief is that it hampers our ability to be fully present for, and appreciate time with, our surviving children.
I know they don’t mean harm, and I try really hard to keep that in mind. But there’s a limit to what I can withstand, and it’s not far off.
Edging closer to tearing the heads off people who blat about how God Has A Special Plan For Our Precious Angels. As in, kids dead of cancer.
New post: “The Silent Hole in the World”
So many people have said they can’t imagine what we’re going through. Now I can’t imagine what Kat is going through.
Thirteen days ago, Kat and I buried our daughter. Today, she buries her father.
Rebecca Meyer was taken too soon, on her sixth birthday. She now has her own shade of purple.
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The last time we drove to New York for a funeral, we nebulized Rebecca all the way there and back to treat RSV. Now we go without her.
I realized last night that Rebecca will never lose a baby tooth.
I muted someone with the @twitter iOS client but they still appear in my Mentions in said client, though not on the web site. What gives?
We had just begun to work our way out of shock over Rebecca and start the sobbing, healing part of grief. Now we’re back to square zero.
Kat’s father died unexpectedly early this morning.
One cloud feels lonely.
The kids’ bedtime shouldn’t be this simple.
Just threw away the neutropenia precautions wallet card that we never needed to use.
rebeccapurple—on the proposal to add a named color to CSS in Rebecca’s honor.
We got a religious tract masquerading as a condolence note from someone who obviously trawls the obituaries. I burned it in the driveway.
There’s a small sprig of nightshade flowers blooming in front of the porch. Some would think it a sign, but I just want to show them to her.
There is an enormous silent hole in the world.
#grieving A little interview I did with @nprscottsimon about grief online after reading @meyerweb's saddest message:…
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It was six years ago today, also a Monday, that we brought Rebecca home. We’d waited more than two years.…
New post: “I Love You, I Miss You”
Grief does not happen on Internet time. I have to remember this. And then I have to believe it.
“Somebody put the purple ribbon on our tree so we would know Rebecca. But we already know Rebecca in our hearts.” —Joshua
I Have No Voice, and I Must Grieve
I’ll post Carolyn’s tribute to Rebecca as soon as I have the clip. It was one of the few times that day we smiled.