How I flirt: *Stares from a distance*
Most people are lucky they can’t hear what I’m thinking.
Party. Hangover. Recover. Repeat process until Tuesday morning.
I wish every day was a Friday.
This week's MH Hotties are up! Click the link to see/vote: mens.hm/1dafhq
Gentlemen, prepare your boners... bit.ly/13Q6Jvj
when you have to stare at a text for five minutes in order to figure out how to reply.
Miguel Cabrera's 6 home runs, all gif'd together. Pretty amazing stuff, not one in the zone. pictwtter.co/ZiHvti
Pretty sure the Internet is going to cave in on May 26th. #ArrestedDevelopment
Siri is an asshole... mens.hm/1425my #TheBoard
It's Friday! You only have to pretend to work for a few more hours!
Me, when I'm late for work, and my girlfriend is getting dressed. pictwtter.co/170r2gJ
"I wish I knew how to quit you." -Me, eating chips and salsa
The original Nintendo is proof that better graphics doesn't mean a better game.
When I first attempted a bicycle kick pictwtter.co/1abggQX
I love cereal for dinner nights.
Sometimes 4 eyes are better than 2... bit.ly/13MQ8bz
"No, you're right." Said no woman ever.
This is Moose the mastiff. He's one kick-ass dog.
When someone asks if I ever wanted to try being a vegetarian.... bit.ly/14DIlzN
I have forgotten most of the things I learned in school, but I'll never forget how to draw this... yfrog.com/nuxq2qp
A movie with Jennifer Aniston stripping? I'm in. mens.hm/13w81r
If two people are arguing and one person says, “You know what…” that argument is about to get amazing.
We can all thank Hollister for making it easy for us to spot the douchebag in the crowd.
Every single day in class... ow.ly/i/2bi1c
Conversations with a 2 year old... Awesome. mens.hm/17k8xt #MustWatch
It's summer! Let the Facebook bathing suit photos begin!
A 3 day weekend and a new season of Arrested Development? There is a God.
Dammit...really had my heart set on waking up in a pile of cash today.
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
I would rather cuddle then have sex. (If you're good with grammar, you'll get it.)
Free throws are FREE for a reason.
My place isn’t dirty, I just have everything on display.
Chris Andersen makes Dennis Rodman look like a girl scout.
Need more bacon in your life??? Check this out: bit.ly/10M8A2q
Chris Bosh was my favorite character in Jurassic Park.
Even though the Pacers are keeping up, I still think they should bring back Reggie Miller.
We're only half way through this game and Chris Bosh still looks like a dinosaur.
Indiana keeping PACE with Miami. #Zing
My dog is cooler than your girlfriend.
And that is the day I ended up back in the orphanage... pictwtter.co/14JDL2l
Miami vs. Indiana...who ya got?
The key to a woman's heart is making her laugh...just make sure she's not laughing at the size of your junk.
I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better.
Prom Dress: $200
Prom pictures that came out like this...
Shitrus: the smell of your bathroom after you spray it with Lemon-scented Febreeze.
Michael Scott has taught me so much. bit.ly/13LsIH2 #TheOffice #sp
You either like dogs or you're wrong.
It's a vagina, not a viral video.
Coworkers, is it a good time to talk to me? (a) No (b) a (c) b