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Meeting Boy
comedy 148,572 followers
I get reply alls therefore I am.
Oh, geez, I forgot to bring the CEO’s book home. I could be reading it this weekend instead of spending time with my family.
The office is closed, which means a bunch of people are sending important-sounding emails to make it look like they're really dedicated.
The project was on schedule and under budget. And then Peter happened. We didn’t account for the Peter factor.
I'm not saying they need to clean out the office fridge every day, but that leftover burrito says "Jeff", and Jeff quit a year ago.
He just acted like he was too busy to copy and paste the link of the page into an email. The page he had open in their browser.
New buzzwords spread through the office go-getters faster than the flu, and unlike the flu, there is no vaccine.
Nothing says "shit is about to get real" like an email closing with "Please advise."
Retweeted by Meeting Boy
Publicis-Omnicom merger said to be in jeopardy after the two companies can't agree on a font for the new email signature.
People who hold status meetings are the loneliest people of all.
Nice to be appreciated at the office. Even if it's not my office: (sent in by @tclayunderwood)
Sorry, I'd love to help you but my computer is really insistent that I update Adobe Reader for the 7th time this month.
The boss's new laptop must arrive tomorrow since he asked 4 different people how to delete his internet history today.
So your idea for this beer commercial is "drinking beer makes you have fun" and you don't know why everyone says that's been done before?
How can you claim we didn't complete everything you asked for when you don't even have a list of things you asked for?
I'm starting a new religion where the gravest sins are gratuitous use of **HIGH PRIORITY** emails and leaving voicemails.
Great! I'm sure that exclamation point will result in a huge increase in sales and save the company from bankruptcy.
I used to wonder how the Titanic could go full steam into an area known for icebergs. Now that I work in an office the answer is obvious.
Hiding in the bathroom at work is the closest you’ll get to having a spring break.
Retweeted by Meeting Boy
CEO gave everyone a copy of his book. He didn't mention that it was free, so I won't be surprised if he deducts $27.95 from our paychecks.
RT @TraeHox: I wish someone had told me that the theme of this conference call was "Why say in 2 sentences what you can say in 30?"
He must be really sick, because they’re bringing in lunch today, and he never misses free food.
My new app is Meetg. It's like Grindr and Tinder but for the office. Coding was easy since no one will ever say yes to a meeting.
Before you make a company t-shirt with some obscure jargon and acronyms, think how it will look on a homeless person in front of the office.
I called the Employee Assistance Program, but they refuse to do an intervention on the boss, saying PowerPoint is not a real addiction.