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Meeting Boy
comedy 148,776 followers
Had a 30-minute meeting about how to make something more vague. Living up to every stereotype of ad copywriters.
This project is so far off course, I expect to show up in the West Indies and have the boss declare it for Spain:…
It's cute how you think sending me this on Saturday somehow obligates me to review it and reply. Monday morning, that's when you get it.
I love how suddenly my idiot coworker suddenly CAN use Excel when fantasy football season starts.
Every time I get happy that it's Friday, I get sad because I have a two hour meeting this afternoon.
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IT says voicemail will be down this morning, which only begs the question why do we still have voicemail?
Even though we haven’t had a lot of turnover, because the boss always spins everything, we have no institutional memory.
Thanks for taking this conference call from the playground.
Animals all have different ways of asserting their dominance over weaker members of the species. My boss schedules 8:AM meetings.
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Coworker to explain how saying someone looks like the Unabomber was a compliment. This should be good.
Worst Halloween Costumes 2014: Detroit Uncle Bobby’s Lapxtravaganza Unspiced Pumpkin Gay Marriage (GOP) New York Jets Sexy PowerPoint Kale
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You can just say “phone number”. Nothing is saved by calling it a TFN for “toll free number”.
I endorsed the boss for Sexism, Condescension, and Entitlement on LinkedIn.
I got an out of office from a colleague saying to contact me in his absence. I didn’t even know he was out or that I was his backup.
It was a tough week, but at least I got to hear the account director tell a client "it needs to pass mustard" 14 times.
Enough people complained that the office Internet was too slow, so the CIO TOOK ACTION and had IT block the Speedtest site.
"Can you join this call, but just listen and stay on mute?" It's the BCC of conference calls!
“Why put off to tomorrow what you can send over flagged as urgent at 4:45 on a Friday?” - Clients
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The client asked for a one-pager, but rather than be concise, the account director used a 6-pt font. This should go over well.
Look, lady, the NYC_ALL mail group is for things everyone needs to know. It's not the GIVES_A_SHIT_IF_JEN_IS_IN_THE_OFFICE_ON_FRIDAY group.
Infographics are the montages of PowerPoint, that way of glossing over the hard parts that take effort and skill.
I called in to work Ebola today.
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I've never believed the Justice League would work. Superheroes just won't sit through all the meetings:…
It takes a real go-getter to say "it has a significant delta" when they mean "there's a big difference".
Any time someone titles something "High Level Findings And Insights", I just assume it's all lies.
Drunken voicemail from the boss with 4 minutes of "great ideas for that presentation". I should save it to an MP3 and email it to everyone.
I get to bring my own lunch AND listen to your PowerPoint? Awesome.
The account director has a lot to cover, so he’s just going to rush through all of it and so we absorb nothing.
"Ten men enter and nine men sleep." from @FlyoverJoel's Neverending Conference Call:…
You ignored my recommendation and insisted we do it your way. And I have emails to prove it. So no, I won't share the blame.
Yes, I'd love to get that out today, but it's 3:00 and you still haven't given me the assets I need to finish it.
There are 15 managers assigned to this project, so how could it be so late?
The boss is using his new buzzword like a 3rd grader who just learned how to burp at will.
It's not a "fire drill" if you have it every day; it's just an inability to plan or tell your client no.
Trying to cram an hour of material into a half hour call didn’t work. Now the client wants us to fly out and go over it in person.
I just endorsed the account director on LinkedIn for Long Meetings and Billable Hours.
Let me stop you right there-- this is the same crap they have us do every year, so you can stop calling it an "opportunity".
Mayor orders police raid of online satirist, judge says OK. Am I next?…
274 system conversion notification emails over the weekend. So now I'm being spammed by my employer.
The iPhone 6 came with Keynote preinstalled, just in case a meeting breaks out when I’m on the train and I need to give a presentation.
Client Comments turned into Posters. My favorite is “This dog is off-brand”.… via @HurtyWords
Hello. I am not in the office, but I'll get back to you once I return. Cheers! -Godot
Amazon offering Russell Wiley Is Out To Lunch for $1.99 on Kindle for limited time. Here was my review of it:…
I thought the lady reading every PowerPoint slide was bad, but this guy is reading 5 pages of guidelines on this call. From Word.
Account director quote of the day: “Well, it’s no more awful than last time, so we might as well show the client."
Throwback Thursday: Overhead Projector… #tbt
What better place to do copy editing than on this 12-person conference call?
Client asked for the new campaign to be "non-threatening and crazy impactful" without any hint that he sees the contradiction.
Cubicles was the ancient Greek philosopher of hating your job.
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I just wiped up a coffee spill on my desk with the company t-shirt they gave us with the new logo. No regrets.