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Meeting Boy
comedy 148,776 followers
We used to take interns out for lunch on their last day, but instead the boss got pizza. Because college students don't get enough pizza.
It takes 7 more minutes to boot up in the morning, but no, we don't need to replace these 4 year old computers.
I don’t know how the group account director ever thought we’d appreciate being managed via spreadsheet.
Nothing confirms your decision to change jobs more than taking a day off for a job interview and running into a coworker doing the same.
Workplace swear words: -PowerPoint -spreadsheet -professional -consultant -corrective action -presentation -conference call -webinar
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The good news is someone punched a hated coworker yesterday. The bad news is I didn’t see it and am only hearing about it today.
The client brief is short on deliverables or detail, but he did say "I want to be wowed!" Wowed by what, sir?
I had four meetings today. One was cancelled and the other three ended early. So kiss your loved ones because the End of Days are nigh.
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I notice the Keurig containers are all full when they sent out the employee satisfaction survey.
Riding a bicycle makes you a cyclist, not a biker, so please stop acting like you’re hot shit in front of all the interns, Bob.
Promoting someone for using all your favorite buzzwords makes as much sense as kissing a lot of frogs until one turns into a prince.
The account director has decided that nothing should be called "old" any more, so now he's referring to the previous campaign as "not new".
A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, just as a webinar by any other name would be as boring.
SPOILER ALERT: The jerk who insinuated himself onto the project after the fact gets the promotion.
We've just created a new font, everybody! It's called Go Eff Yourserif!
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So it's come to this: I've started accepting meetings I know I can back out of as a way of keeping others from scheduling too many meetings.
It'd be nice if, for once, WE were the ones who could push back and make the client actually stick to what they asked for.
Video conferencing doesn't have a MUTE button, and let's just say you don't know how much you need it until it's gone.
The hated account director left today. Not sure if he was fired or quit, but I do know that his replacement will be greeted as a liberator.
There's only one time you should ever say synergy and that's if you're dressed up as Jem for Halloween.
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Was told to "add some razzmatazz to that PowerPoint". Now if I only had a time machine to go back to 1970 and find out what that means...
RT @JerryThomas: IDEA: Prison, only with wi-fi and mimosas. // It exists-- it's called a business trip.
Did you know that the economy survived for hundreds of years before anyone coined the term "onboarding"? It's true.
MeetingBoy just endorsed LinkedIn for Wage Theft: thinkprogress.org/economy/2014/0…
The ambitious go-getter must think saying "value prop" 100 times a day will make the magic Promotion Genie appear and grant his wish.
Our company refuses to give us Friday afternoons off in the summer, but all our clients have it off, so we're just sitting on our hands.
Sometimes I feel like a man trapped in a woman's salary.
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Look, boss, if I'm going to "take a stab" at something, I'd rather it be you than revising this idiot PowerPoint you made.
The only thing worse than a 8AM meeting, is an 8AM meeting they send you the night before when it's too late to force them to reschedule.
My coworker always seems to schedule meetings in the farthest conference room ever since she got her Fitbit.