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Meeting Boy
comedy 148,464 followers
I can't get excited about Twitter letting users mute each other. Frankly, that feature is no big deal unless Microsoft adds mute to Outlook.
Boss is going to a "Business Intelligence Innovation Summit", which will increase productivity by keeping him out of the office for 3 days.
Should we pay college athletes? No. Not being paid by a mean coach is great preparation for being paid poorly working for a mean boss.
A former colleague just said he saw my boss interviewing at his company. And here we thought he was out golfing.
Sure, I’m happy to DROP EVERYTHING so I can spend the ALL AFTERNOON sitting in your meeting, even though you say I probably won’t be needed.
This project has been dragged out so long that the account director who started it celebrated her one year anniversary. At another agency.
Oh, what I wouldn’t give for the Evil Account Director’s emails to show up in the Spam Quarantine Notification one morning!
The boss loves books like the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, not to follow, but great for pointing out the flaws in others.
You've been on this email thread for a week, so summarize or highlight what you want from me, don't just say here, read this.
It's only a matter of time before the CEO makes everyone follow him on Twitter and requires we retweet him. Wish this were a joke.
The client asked for an "ideation session", which he insists is different from a brainstorm, but did not explain how.
Boss emailed that he'll be on tomorrow's call, but not paying attention. I'm not sure why he mentioned it since that's what he always does.
No, boss, Jose is Puerto Rican, not Mexican, so Cinco De Mayo is no more special to him than to your white ass.
RT @robosalt: Scheduling a brainstorm and calling it "Thinko de Mayo" doesn't change the fact that it's a meeting.
MT @margeast: The requirement for a new alphanumeric password every 4 weeks uses up 90% of my creativity, so only 10% remains for my job.
Using Comic Sans in your PowerPoint presentation is an effective way to communicate to the audience that you don’t want to be there either.
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The boss fought IT for weeks for a larger screen on his laptop, and now is bitching that the new laptop doesn't fit in his old laptop case.
HR says "Happy Cinco De Mayo", but the festivities include a few decorations and bringing in Chipotle for people who work late. Ay caramba!
The new system at work forwards our desk phone to our cell, as though we really want every sales cold call when we're out of the office.
I didn't think the project would be a failure until the Account Director had t-shirts printed up about how great it will be.
It’s bad enough that you hold meetings at noon, but can you at least stop using the phrase “fully baked” to describe the finished proposal?
They should punish kids who do well in school with more homework to prepare them for what happens to people who are efficient at their jobs.
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It’s that magical time of year when you can endorse all of your coworkers for Prom on LinkedIn.
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Can it really be May already? It doesn't seem real because usually I have 10 hostile emails about getting April timesheets in by now.
Wanna hate your own smartphone? Put work email on it!
Retweeted by Meeting Boy