fucking boring, that's what.
Even U2 don't give a fuck about U2.
The U2 tour cover story is some of the most middle-aged writing ever. What self-respecting teenager gives a fuck about U2?
That film is on where Taken's daughter gets taken and he gets her back from being taken.
I forget what it's called.
And the doll was a badly placed MacGuffin. Wank film.
Why is it called The Conjuring? Nobody conjured a thing...
Oh and apparently it's definitely true cos there's old photos of the characters at the end. Yawn.
Attn: James Wan, the correct terminology is 'hanged' not 'hung'. Hack.
This film is so dark, I'm basically watching my reflection half the time.
Could be worse. Heh.
Child talks to invisible thing cliche.
Dog senses bad shit and won't go somewhere cliche. Seriously- fuck James Wan and his hacky writing.
Expositional text now. And a 'true story' note. 10 minutes gone. Looking forward to the inevitable laboured jump scares...
Expositional dialogue too. Nice.
Creepy doll cliche inside a minute. Not looking good...
Watching The Conjuring. If it's shit, I shall inform you, for I am a tireless public servant.
When the revolution happens, any time you hear "WOOOOO" from the audience at an event, it will be followed a single gunshot.
It's very late and I'm awake but not drunk. Or happy.
No roadtrip yet. Might still happen, might not. Ah, the joys of dealing with drunk people...
If that food bank photo's not enough for ya- read Danny Alexander's Guardian Q&A. What a Class A twunt.
Roadtrip! To Reigate... In the middle of the night... Maybe the exclamation mark was a bit premature.
You've changed your tune, Mr Lineker... #cpfc
shows the Public how seriously it takes deaths in #Police
Gus Fring is in Trading Places. Young fella in the prison bit. Can't rewind so no screenshot...
Incredible scenes. Camelot withdraw scratchcard due to player confusion on BASIC maths news.sky.com/story/1179265/…
Worst team in Premier League history? Good one! #cpfc pic.twitter.com/oLLxEyfCAj
Cardiff's no9 looks like Todd from Breaking Bad.
Why do people. Ask one sentence questions in two badly composed sentences?
Whatsapp have stopped holding my messages to ransom... They certainly have an odd way of doing business.
My article on Nelson Mandela from this morning - "Mandela will never, ever be your minstrel": okwonga.com/?p=869
I've been to Belfast 4 times. Perhaps we should team up on the lecture tour circuit. If there is such a thing.
Well done Yodel delivery person. Well. Done. pic.twitter.com/TD0EqJUlCW
I've been to Spain a few times. When do I start my lecture series on ETA and the Basque separatist movement?
I questioned the logic of the statement but someone who went there once for 2 weeks set me straight on the whole place. The hero.
Comment at pub last night that Mandela's death would cause rioting...
'Did you know colds are mostly psychological?' Murder She Wrote is supremely shite.
Sometimes you need to throw a strop to get your point across.
Even those who live there all their lives often struggle to understand South Africa's culture & politics!
Travel to South Africa once and apparently you automatically become a authority on the politics and culture of the place... Dick.
Is there a definitive reason why everyone in the buying & selling of property trade seems woeful inept at their job? Three months & counting
Doesn't help that his mum is too busy chatting to stop him destroying everything and attacking other littl'uns... She can fuck off too.
I know it's wrong to dislike a child, but there is one tiny gobshite in that toddler sport thing that is genuinely cuntish...
Manuel Pellegrini looks baked.
: The Daily Hammer is out! paper.li/WestHamHQ/1316…
Stories via @thewritetomnash
" Ah, automated tools. #cpfc
all day. Scummy irons.
I have ham flavour popcorn. Not sure if I'm happy about this or not...
Joel Ward is pure class. Ravel Morrison could learn a thing or two from him... #cpfc
That squirrel was squeaking at me again. Twat. If he does it again, I'll tell him I've got an air rifle & we'll see how tough he really is.
People who don't answer the phone when you call back seconds after missing their call are THE WORST. #worsethanMugabe