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Lew
I've had aggressive hiccups about 8 times today and it fucking sucks not being able to string together a full sentence uninterrupted πŸ˜‚
Cheats on husband, Tells jokes until forgiven.
Retweeted by Lew
Deal or no deal and chill?
I can see now that having two naps earlier this evening was a mistake
Oh shit, @SpottedReading is killing me tonight. These tweets are too much. Don't do drugs kids πŸ˜‡
Ready set no
Do you ever read back through old messages and immediately wish you hadn't bcos same
so irritating following a group of youtubers that record stuff together an u have to go thru their videos to find footage you havent seen
No but on a level though why is toast so underrated? It's the best
Do I feel bad? Do I fuck.
πŸ‘‹πŸΌ
mid stalk & seeing a banging tweet they retweeted but having to scroll down the original twitter so u can peacefully rt w/o getting clocked
Retweeted by Lew
Strongbow tastes likes piss
Apparently there's drinks waiting for me on the bar in the pub where my parents are at. Free vodka is the best vodka
Another Slam Dunk 2015 video. I was pretty exhausted at this point in the day so I stood back and watched. This was incredible While She Sleeps - Trophies of Violence ft guest vocalist. #slamdunk #slamdunk2015 #whileshesleeps #music #live #gigs
Why do we only have champagne and wine in the fridge? Fuck you parents
aaaaaaaaand here come the same over used XFactor tweets we see every fucking year
Slayin' @jasonleemaher
My mum is in the kitchen and singing to taylor swift??????
Lets analyse that statement. 1) i've never been to nandos 2) i hate gym lads and their narcissism 3) i'm not a fuckboy. I'm a gentleman
"You're a cheeky nandos gym lad fuckboy. I've got you sussed out" - best thing anyone has said to me all week
Saw is great, but they didn't need 7 films. They got greedy and made more for money but they definitely could have done it in 5
The Saw films are the fucking best
WHEN YOU LIKE A GIRL'S INSTA POST AND YOUR BOY MESSAGE YOU LIKE NAH WTF YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT πŸ˜‚
"She's one of them people that gets 90 likes on a profile picture because she's wearing a balance and composure t shirt"
fun drinking game: scroll down your twitter, facebook, instagram and snapchat feed and do a shot every time you see something about Reading
If your best friends don't casually eat food and talk with you while your pooping are you really best friends?
Retweeted by Lew
Stop making stupid people famous
These John Cena memes are starting to consume my life
I cant actually clean my room without my mum asking me who I've invited round or what i'm up to. Am I that transparent?πŸ˜‚
I went to my neighbour's house to collect a parcel and ended up speaking to her for half an hour. She's 84. Old people are so sweet man 😊
This happened earlier today and it's something I'm never going to forget.
Retweeted by Lew
if tetris has taught me anything, it's that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear
I cant tell if i'm hungry or bored
Positives - one direction are splitting up :) Negatives - it's only for a year :(
I like her 'cause she's smart, headstrong and prepubescent @NeckDeepUK
Retweeted by Lew
I bought an entire large pizza for myself last night. Not really sure why
We are very aware of the accusations being made and we take them very seriously. Please give us a moment to get to the bottom of this.
Retweeted by Lew
I dont 't understand football. I literally dont get it
Anyone else have that mate who'll tell wild stories of sexual encounters, but when you ask who with its always "someone I met on holiday" πŸ˜‚
Being drunk dialled is hilarious
Crazy. Thank you so much everyone. And sorry @taylorswift13 , don’t be mad.
Retweeted by Lew
There are other men is these shops having to chaperone their women while they look at clothes. I feel ur pain brothers 😐
Being taken round Primark to look at women's clothes is my idea of a gr8 time
I just drove a Fiat 500. I thought they're stupid but driving one has changed my mind. They're awesome cars hahaha
It's been a journey ✌🏼️ thanks guys!d
Retweeted by Lew
Smooth seas don't make good sailors. Jump ship and head for failure




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