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Aint got time for those people that are like "yeah we'll meet up" then never bother to message you again hahahah fuck off
The key to my heart (amongst other things)
I've seen one too many "maga/marbs with the boys/girls" posts to last a lifetime
So i've cracked my phone's screen, again ๐Ÿ˜ค can't use it at all now ๐Ÿ˜“
The same people who listen to trashy consumerist chart music are also super ignorant and uneducated? Ain't that a big fucking surprise
Retweeted by Lew
Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift bickering over the VMA nominations is like two billionaires fighting over a bag of soggy ready salted crisps
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There's a dude at my work in his 30's who always talks to me about listening to Neck Deep, Trash Boat, Boston Manor etc. What a sick guy
That being said, it's one of my favourite songs on deja entendu
Anyone else notice how me vs maradona vs elvis is just jessie lacey describing how much of a fuckboy he is??
When the rapist tries to play the victim
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Is this kid serious? He should be grateful girls even notice him ffs but has the arrogance to boast cheating? Nah๐Ÿ˜‚โœ‹๏ฟฝ5w
you want to sleep with other girls then you shouldnt be with her. Fucking morons like this dont deserve a loyal girlโ€ฆ
During my trip to the British museum on Saturday I bought these dudes. Introducing; Quaximus, Quackahontis and Olaf Quackson. #duckseverywhere #ducksinarow #duckagram #ducksofinstagram #ducksforlife #ducksfordays #ducksquad #duckstagram
Ticklish people are a great source of entertainment
Jordan came in the garden wearing a bike helmet and somehow it ended in us fighting. And now i'm bleeding. Oh, alcohol
She wants me to take her number. She's ridiculously attractive wtf
Group of pretty girls on the train talking about having low phone batteries, I offer my portable charger and one said she had a crush on me
So that storms mad!! So glad I didn't walk it home got drowned in the short run!! Thanks @LewIsNotAJew for the lift โ˜”๏ธโšก๏ธ๐Ÿ‘
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Offered my parents a lift home from the pub during a thunderstorm because I'm basically the best son ever
I don't understand people that feel the constant need to try and impress others. Like are you that insecure?
Instagram why hav u stopped?
Nahhhh Instagram's working pretty well ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ
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The 'I only smoke at parties' cigarettes.
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#GrowingUpBritish experiencing inflation at a young age
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My cat is sad because my other cat toked some weed and now claims that he can see the bigger truth behind everything.
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My cat is sad because my other, hippie cat has taken too much LSD and claims to be able to see a giant green wolf.
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I say this but i'll probably be going on my own lol
Can we just ban the word "screamo" when describing a song or genre
Cute date idea - watching the new star wars in december
"DROP THE BASS" *the orchestra member drops his instrument and knocks over all of the other musicians. the concert is ruined*
My 20kg dumbbells have a new 25kg neighbour, and he's massive!๐Ÿ˜… #gym #gonutrition #UKbodybuilding #positivity #bodybuilding #dumbbells
The "ronnie radke is my spirit animal" t shirt dude is walking about the gym again today. I wonder if he knows he looks like a twat?
Timehop makes me hate my previous self
everyone forgets how the beckhams started off as level 2 roadmen
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"Netflix and chill" aka the biggest lie of 2015
How do decide between netflix and sleeping?
Don't pretend to be an activist to get retweets.
Retweeted by Lew
Retweeted by Lew
Quote of the day: Jess - geese can't fly. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Cru sesh (minus dekker, here in spirit โค๏ธ)
I post up pictures of food more than my face because that's more interesting but should follow me on instgram anyway
I cook the best breakfast

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